Speed Read: Dominican Dream Done In by Dutch
The Netherlands’ World Baseball Classic team showed just how awesome colonialism was with their second victory over the Dominican Republic yesterday, 2-1 in 11 innings. This unlikely series of events pushes the Netherlands team into the second round and eliminates the Dominican squad.
The Netherlands team’s combination of Arubans, Netherlands Antilles residents, and the occasional Dutch person bested the Dominicanos behind the power of their pitching in both games, no doubt buoyed by pitching coach Bert Blyleven.
If Blyleven can turn Sidney Ponson into a nominal pitcher again, he should launch past potential MLB pitching coach jobs and apply for beatification.
(We kid. While the WBC is a watering hole for semi-famous former ballplayers, it’s not exactly a test of coaching mettle. Also, 24 walks in 29 innings isn’t worth bragging about. Small sample size, thy name is “first-round WBC exit for the DR”.)
Apparently, Jay Cutler doesn’t picture himself as chattel. He leans into the mirror and he sees a diabetic, perhaps. He probably sees a Pro Bowl quarterback. However, he just can’t see the piece o’meat others do.
Therefore, the healing process after his near-trade (okay, his far-trade) from the Broncos to Tampa (or Kansas City or what not) hasn’t gone smoothly. In fact, it’s more of a scab-picking competition between Broncos management and Cutler’s people. An attempt at a long-distance group hug fell apart yesterday and both sides are the worse for wear for it.
We just finished listening to Bill Simmons’ latest podcast with Houston Rockets GM Daryl Morey and, yes, he’s brilliant. However, he kept referring to his players as “assets” he needed to accumulate to gather different assets down the line.
This is all fine and true, but you don’t engender loyalty when you refer to your employees with the same terminology as you’d use to describe your real estate holdings.
So yes, it’s a big bad business and Cutler knew what he was in for when he signed up to be a professional ballplayer, but he doesn’t have to like it. Also, if he has the leverage, he doesn’t have to put up with it.
And hey… if the Broncos don’t need a 25-year-old quarterback that has proved more than competent for the job, maybe they can’t value their assets or their people as well as they could.
Former NFL placekicker Tony Zendejas found himself acquitted of rape charges by a Pomona jury yesterday. (The rather painful details have been covered here previously; those sensitive to discussion of “anal tears” are encouraged to pass on the link.)
At least he can safely return to “Party Time, Zendejas Time!!!!!“ now.
And now the proverbial hail of bullets while wrestling an injured lunatic ninja kangaroo in your living room…
- Ben Woodside, the college basketball player that scored 60 points in a loss earlier this season, just made the shot to send North Dakota State to the NCAA tourney in their first year of eligibility as a D-I school.
- LaDainian Tomlinson and the Chargers agreed to a three-year contract. “Anchors Aweigh” seems appropriate, considering San Diego’s a Navy town.
- If you mess with the Husky, you get the cyber whip: Some bright fellow (and Washington State fan) got ahold of a University of Washington player’s cell number and harrassed him through calls and texts before the big rivalry game. After UW beat WSU, the Husky player posted his harrasser’s number on Twitter and told his friends and fans to “let him have it”.
- If you cheat on a math test to stay eligible to play in the high school state tourney, don’t get caught. If you do get caught, get your mother to sue for a temporary restraining order to force the school to let you play in the tourney.
- Breaking up is hard to do, true, but the good news? Ladies… Hulk Hogan will be single soon!
- Lamar Odom will miss a game for leaving the bench in Monday’s loss to the Trail Blazers. However, Trevor Ariza is still allowed to practice whatever brand of defense he has. You know, the one that sends the other guy to the hospital overnight. “Hard-nosed”, we suppose.
- And now maybe Shaq wants to leave Phoenix. Again, we’re all for the return of personal choice for professional athletes, but we didn’t mean to suggest the athlete should make as many different ones as possible.
- Barack Obama favors one Sarge over all others in his posse. That would seem to hurt troop morale, but no one’s fussing yet.
- Peyton Manning couldn’t make it to his own state holiday because Tiger wanted to hit a few golf balls around. Hey, we’d make the same call and we can’t even putt adequately into the clown’s mouth.
