Star Va. HS Running Back Goes Superfelonious

At first blush, Virginia doesn’t seem like the kind of state that’s prone to large swaths of poverty or gang violence. When you think of urban areas in Virginia, after all, you probably think of Richmond, the DC suburbs, and, like, Roanoke. But right by Norfolk on the eastern seaboard are two places you really don’t want to be in late at night: Newport News and Hampton. How bad are we talking here? Well for one, Newport News native Michael Vick named his Bad Newz Kennels after the city. So yeah, it’s somewhere where it’s probably a good idea to invest in a gun. And an alligator-filled moat. And bullet-proof vests for the alligators.

Tron Fif
(Tron has some advice for, uh, Tron.)

Should you want further proof, we present Tron Martinez, a young man whose name further solidifies Dave Chappelle’s place in the pantheon of geniuses. Tron had accepted a scholarship offer to Old Dominion for next fall; according to the VIRGINIAN-PILOT, he was “a prized recruit for the Monarchs.” The reason we’re using past tense, as you’ve probably already guessed, is because he was just nailed in a large police sting, and SWEET BEARDED JESUS is that ever a large amount of felony charges: Read more…