Soccer Player Scores the Scariest Hat Trick of All

Every now and then, a headline surfaces that makes you put down your coffee, sit back in your chair, and quietly admire the skill and precision of the writer. (Off the top of our heads, our favorite is the infamous NEW YORK POST “Ike Beats Tina to Death” headline.) So when we saw this one by NEWS OF THE WORLD, we broke out into a slow applause:

Gabriel Agbonlahor Brat Trick

Of course, in order to understand the ramifications you need a little bit of background. The man above is Gabriel Agbonlahor, an English soccer player for Aston Villa in the Premier League. As highly-paid professional athletes are known to do, he had a thing for the ladies, having an affair with three separate women simultaneously.

Most hilarious of all, he knocked up all three of them.

Read more…