Former Giants wide receiver turned bank fraud artist Mark Ingram evading the start of a lengthy jail sentence once for pleading leniency so he could watch his son, also named Mark, play in a big college football game. When he didn’t show a second time, federal marshals started a manhunt and tracked him down … just as he was about to watch his son play in the Sugar Bowl.

(Ingram’s hat had stripes on it, but evidently they were the wrong color.)

According to NEWSDAY, Ingram was arrested in an Auburn Hills hotel room by federal marshals just before the start of Friday’s night Sugar Bowl, in which his son, Alabama running back Mark Ingram, was a starter. Of course, the night got worse from there: Not only did the elder Ingram not get to watch the game, his son’s team was blasted, 31-14, by a supposedly overmatched Utah team.

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The alt-weekly BOSTON PHOENIX, that trusted arbiter of all things everything, has put together a list of the 100 unsexiest men on the planet, which I suppose is not to be confused with the 100 ugliest. Tops on the list? Roger Clemens. Really? I mean, he’s no pulchritude, but wouldn’t it be more appropriate to give him the ugliest personality?

So concludes the Phoenix:

“Considering Roger Clemens moth-eaten congressional testimony, this year’s Unsexiest champ is a quadruple threat: baseball and legal talking heads say that he’s a cheater, a liar/perjurer, a substance-abuser, and a world-class scumbag. His sexy status is further jeopardized by his Cro-Magnon mug (never have a player’s looks been so betrayed by the removal of his ball cap) and, worse, the litany of grotesque anatomical details we’ve been forced to hear.”

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