So the economy has been a barrel of laughs lately, am I right folks? If you’re unlucky enough to be familiar with the term “mandatory furlough days,” then chances are you work at a newspaper, or for the government. Heck, I guess these are turning up in just about every type of business, come to think of it. Yes, it sucks.

(Too important to be furloughed)

But if you’re a California State University football coach, the government is willing to work with you. Other state employees are currently required to take two unpaid furlough days a month. But football coaches, who presumably put in long hours in the fall and sleep on their office sofas (your team may vary), simply can’t get away! Read more…

You might have heard that California’s finances are in such dire straits that Lenny Dykstra is shaking his head in disgust. In order to close a $26 billion budget deficit, the state was forced to pass a budget that includes drastic cuts to services such as health care and education. In fact, things are so bad that they’ve started taking down the “Hollywood” sign in order to use it for firewood. (That’s a lie.)

One of the cost-saving measures is to force state employees to take two furlough (i.e. unpaid vacation) days every month. And the FRESNO BEE has proof that this means every state employee, as Fresno State AD Thomas Bosch is trying to come up with a program to place Bulldog coaches on furlough - even those whose sports are currently in season.

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You see, it really isn’t Dwight O’Neil’s fault that is currently sitting in a Fresno jail and suspended from the Fresno State basketball team. After all, the cops were out to get him. Plus, it was all just a big misunderstanding, and he didn’t have the right paperwork. And he was hurt. There was an earthquake. A terrible flood. Locusts. IT WASN’T HIS FAULT, HE SWEARS TO GOD.

Speaking from jail to the FRESNO BEE, O’Neil apologized for being arrested for driving on a suspended or revoked license. Sort of. Technically he apologized “for minimal mistakes that seem so big and shine a bad light on our basketball program,” which is hardly a sweeping mea culpa. (Also, it’s hard to make the Fresno State basketball program look even sleazier. Congratulations.)

Then again, it’s hard to blame O’Neil. Clearly none of this is his fault, as evidenced by the myriad of excuses he gave during the interview, including:

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Jerry Jones went on Dallas radio today and said he blamed himself for being the “enabler” of Pacman Jones’ “violent scuffle” last Tuesday at a hotel.  Apparently though, Jones’ definition of enabler is a little different than yours or mine.

(Why the stretched long face, Jer?)

From an interview on KTCK-AM: “I almost feel like I’m an enabler, because it’s the very people that I have with him that created this. Had we not had that security with him, this wouldn’t have happened. Really. Had we not had the security with him, it wouldn’t have happened.”

With that sort of thinking, you think Plax Burress is ready for a trade to Big D right about now?

Congrats to A.J. and Enrico. Now if only Brett Myers had been required to pitch six for the win today, the Dodgers might’ve had a chance. Guess he was anxious to get home to the wife. Or not.

Former NBA coach Eric Musselman has a post on his blog that I guarantee will make your day.

Tickets are available for USC’s home game against A-State tomorrow. So much for a soldout season.

OK, this might be old, but a kind soul a couple weeks back sent me these screen grabs of a Slovenian sprinter named Alenka Bikar, and they’re too good not to post (’specially since I hadn’t seen them before):

Video of her after the jump. Read more…

That low rumble you heard in Los Angeles last night wasn’t an earthquake - it was the sound of one million Dodger mini-flags being ripped off of cars simultaneously. The team didn’t have a total collapse like the Cubs, but a sixth-inning mini-meltdown of one bad throw and two lousy pitches undid the rest of the night and equaled a 3-2 defeat.

Dodger fans throughout LA have one question: when does the Lakers season start? That, and if Joe Torre should have lifted Derek Lowe after Chase Utley deposited a ball into the bleachers in right center to tie the game. I agree with the LA TIMES’ BLUE NOTES that you have to leave Lowe in: he had been cruising along until then. If you want to find a goat, look at Rafael Furcal going 0-4 at the top of the line-up and making a lousy throw. Or the 6-7-8 hitters for the Dodgers, who went 1-11.

And speaking of finger-pointing: Clemson Tigers, meet your fans! If you thought that the fans were hard on you after your loss to Maryland, you probably want to schedule some extra sessions with the team therapist to deal with the fallout from your 12-7 loss to Wake Forest and practically Auburn-like offense. Perhaps it’s just karma for taking away Ray Ray McElrathbey’s scholarship in the off-season.

Here’s some more news to ponder while watching the Dow Jones Index go down another hundred points. Wait, make it two hundred! Three hundred! Wow, I didn’t even know it could go into negative numbers…

• YAHOO! SPORTS weighs in that MMA sensation Gina Carano is putting her career - and health - in danger by having to continually struggle to make weight.
• So who is throwing out the first pitch for the Rays before Game 1 of the ALCS? The TAMPA TRIBUNE says that it will be 11 original season ticket holders. Dick Vitale will have to wait until Game 2.
• The CANTON REPOSITORY says that if Romeo Crennel had a vote, his players would keep their politics to themselves after Brady Quinn introduced John McCain at a local rally and Willie McGinnest publicly backed Barack Obama.
• Maybe McCain’s campaign should hire Don Cherry to yell at him for motivation: after the Maple Leaf’s management was ripped by the blustery Canadian broadcasting legend, Toronto went out and beat the defending Stanley Cup champions Detroit Red Wings during the NHL Opening Night Except for Games Played in Europe.
• While his brother might be taking the high road about the New York Yankees, Frank Torre isn’t, gloating to the USA TODAY about the Yankees’ misfortune this season.
• NASCAR drivers acting like idiots, and neither of them are named Tony Stewart? The CHARLOTTE OBSERVER says that Kevin Harvick and Carl Edwards scuffled in the garage as fall-out from last week’s wreck at Talladega.
• Enjoy it while you can, Clippers fans, even if it’s the preseason - LA’s second NBA team takes out the Lakers 107-80, which doesn’t keep Phil Jackson from suggesting to a TV reporter that the Clippers should move to Fresno. Ouch.
• And speaking of Fresno: the FRESNO BEE notes that apparently the NCAA frowns on having a local club host your 21st birthday party with ads in the paper, as Bulldogs RB Ryan Mathews found out.
• Want to be an MLB player? Well, the Royals are almost a big league team, and the KANSAS CITY STAR says that they are having open tryouts this weekend.
• And finally, a story about Notre Dame lineman Pat Kuntz and his ever-changing hairstyle, which is now a Mohawk. Gentlemen, I’ll leave the jokes about the landing strip of hair on Kuntz to you in comments.

Now I know why the LOS ANGELES TIMES didn’t lay off Diane Pucin. She has a terrific hustle piece today on one of the tragic offshoots of the success of the Fresno State football program. Although the team is wildly popular locally, if you’re under 18 and live in the Central Valley, you probably don’t own a thread of Bulldogs gear:

Membership in a large and notorious Central Valley gang called the Bulldogs. Beginning in the 1980s Fresno State’s fearsome mascot became a symbol of gang violence.  About two years ago, city officials and the police department began a public crackdown on the gang and even now grade school and high school students here can’t wear Fresno State gear to school.

Bulldogs Coach Pat Hill and Fresno Mayor Alan Autry obviously aren’t happy about the situation, but have deferred to local law enforcement in the matter. Autry, who was a teammate of Pete Carroll’s on the now-defunct University of Pacific football team, did though declare that the city and the university have “declared war to get that logo back.”

Have you noticed how little coverage Manny Ramirez’s disparaging comments about the Red Sox have gotten?

The reason: Ramirez is despised personally by most baseball reporters, which is one of the reasons his comments have been generally ignored. It’s also why he has absolutely zero shot at winning the National League MVP - as voted on by those same blackballing writers.

Ramirez is the sole reason I’ll be attending a Dodger playoff game for the first time in 10 years in Los Angeles this weekend, thanks to discounted tickets (use the code SbB010) from My Boy Barry. So obviously the people who pay baseball’s light bill don’t give a damn in Manny is an ass off-the-field.

Jon Solomon of the BIRMINGHAM NEWS has an embarrassingly puffy piece on ESPN’s College GameDay that reads like it was written in 1999. Lede:

Unusual but true fact about ESPN College GameDay: Lee Corso gestures with a pencil on TV to promote Dixon Ticonderoga, which is best known for its yellow No. 2 pencil. Corso is the company’s director of business development.

Hopefully the good folks residing in Estonia take Solomon’s B-News, since I’m guessing they’re the only respirating souls left in the solar system who haven’t already been leveled by Corso & Co.’s public relations pablum express.

Solomon does slip in an interesting tidbit from Kirk Herbstreit though, who still refuses to admit he was wrong in reporting the Les Miles-to-Michigan hire last season (thank goodness for that LSU media guide!). Read more…

• Lisa Guerrero - from primetime sidelines to blogging for the L.A. Times.

• Bet the Philadelphia Police Bomb Squad feels like a bunch of wieners for blowing up a box of the Phillie Phanatic’s hot dogs.

• Ex-Nebraska RB Thunder Collins heals wounded Huskers’ hearts by saying he’s didn’t die in an apparent drug deal gone wrong.

• Plaxico Burress’ two-week timeout could be explained by troubles at home.

• Remember all that money T. Boone Pickens gave to Oklahoma State to build up the Cowboys’ athletic facilities? Well, he might want some of that back.

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UCLA’s delusions of grandeur — the football monopoly in Los Angeles is not, in fact, over — have gone a full 180 degrees this week. After a pair of embarrassing defeats to BYU and Arizona, UCLA now finds itself begging for visiting fans to put their butts in historic Rose Bowl seats.

UCLA’s marketing wing (via THE WIZ OF ODDS) has placed radio and print ads in Fresno this week urging Fresno State fans to “say they were there” and buy tickets to the game between the schools. Consider linebacker Reggie Carter displeased:

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People in New Jersey have never been shy about sharing their feelings with others, usually going on about how Bruce Springsteen and Bon Jovi are the greatest things to happen to music since, well, ever. So clearly, though they have no problem expressing themselves, they aren’t the smartest people in the country.

Still, it’s hard to blame the good people of New Jersey for being upset when they found out that Rob Stone was going to be working the sidelines of yesterday’s game between Rutgers and Fresno State instead of the lovely Erin Andrews. After all, I’m guessing about 50-60% of the males in attendance only bought tickets to the game because they were under the impression that Andrews would be working the sidelines. Those fans weren’t alone in their frustration either, as even Erin took the time to write Stone a letter about the whole thing. A letter Rob shared on the air.

Video of Rob’s reading after the jump.

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We fondly remember Stacy Johnson-Klein, the former milftastic matron of the Fresno State women’s basketball team, who became embroiled in a bitter legal battle with the school over her firing & her resulting sexual harassment lawsuit.

And now we’re happy to learn from ERRATIC MAGIC that Ms. Johnson-Klein has found employment once again. And it’s not just some sideline job - Stacy’s going to become the general manager of a certain b-ball team in Oklahoma.

Unfortunately, it’s not the one you’re thinking of. Fortunately, Stacy’s also seeking opportunities for book & movie deals. Read more…