TBS Answers Your Prayers, Gives Ax To Frank TV

Folks, much like the end of the Vietnam War, our long national nightmare is finally over. I’m talking about the news in BROADCASTING & CABLE that TBS has canceled Frank TV. Finally, we can now watch baseball playoff games free from the fear of being bombarded with a barrage of advertisements so unrelenting that even Frank Caliendo felt bad about it. You can expect a ticker tape parade down Broadway for the TBS programmer who made the decision to axe the show.

Frank Caliendo is John Madden

But war is hell, and not all the news is good. The same article also has the news that Caliendo has signed a new two-year deal to continue being not funny on Fox NFL Sunday. Fortunately, you know that he’s always going to be on during the last segment of that show, making it possible to find something else to do in the five minutes before your regional coverage of San Francisco at Seattle begins.

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Speed Read: Yeah, That Really Just Happened

If the Boston Red Sox were a TV show, they would have been canceled long ago, because everyone would agree that the plot twists have just gotten to zany, too unrealistic, too unbelievable. Basically, they would be the second season of Lost or Heroes (or for you uber-nerds, the sixth season of Buffy the Vampire Slayer).

Boston Red Sox

I mean, you expect me to believe that they came back from seven runs down with seven outs remaining in their season? Please. Next thing you’ll tell me the Smoke Monster is David Ortiz.

Tampa Bay Rays reliever Dan Wheeler

But, here it is Friday morning, and I’ll be damned if we aren’t going to have some baseball played this weekend. Rarely has a team taking a 3-2 lead back home for the final two games of a series looked so beaten.  But that’s what happens when you’re the Tampa Bay Rays and you blow a 7-0 lead and a chance to close out the series.

It’s like they had been under hypnosis since Game 2 and had told that they were the Murder’s Row Yankees. Then suddenly someone snapped their fingers in the seventh inning and woke them up, causing them to realize that they were, in fact, the Tampa Bay Rays, and what the hell are they doing seven outs from the World Series?

Now…if you had told Rays manager Joe Maddon before the start of the series that they be up 3-2, needing to win one of two games at home to go to the World Series, I’m sure he would have taken that offer. But watching Craig Sager conduct the interviews/postmortems  in the Rays’ locker room after the game, I have no reason to believe that Tampa Bay has any chance. They looked so shell shocked, it’s going to be a victory just getting on their uniforms on Saturday without putting their jerseys on backwards.

Here’s some other interesting stories from the sports world last night. You’ll excuse me while I try to talk the Fox network executives off of the ledge and convince them it’s safe to come back inside now:

Oregon Duck cheerleaders

How will the ALCS finish out?

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Frank Caliendo Is Sorry You Have To Watch Him

I’ve found quite a few things to be annoying about TBS’ coverage of the Divisional Series this season.   Whether it’s having to listen to Dick Stockton butcher names and words constantly, having to deal with Cal Ripken Jr. in the studio show, or hearing that god awful Bon Jovi song over and over (Which town!?  Grow some balls and commit, old man!).   Still, there is one man that has been more annoying than all of them.

It seems as though during every commercial break viewers are subjected to a promo for Frank TV.   TBS must show a commercial for the show at least 20 times during a game, and to be honest, it’s driving me crazy.   Sure, it’s better than having to see Dane Cook all the time, but that doesn’t exactly make it tolerable.   Frankly, I think Frank Caliendo owes us all an apology.   Wait, what?

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Cubs Game To Compete w/Orange-Clad Protesters

When they show aerial shots of Wrigley Field during this evening’s NLDS game between the Cubs and Dodgers, you might notice a bright orange blob in your picture.  No, it’s not a group of confused Dutch soccer fans who couldn’t get in to the game. Instead, it’s somebody’s idea of a protest, and it will actually be much smaller than initially planned.

orange people

(“Did someone say orange protest?”)

Chicago mayor Richard Daley was freaking out late last week when State Senator Richard Meeks threatened to completely ring Wrigley with 6,000 protesters in bright orange shirts. What are they protesting? The disparity in education funding in the Chicago area. I guess they must think it’s Ron Santo’s fault.

update after the jump

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Frank TV Ads During Baseball Playoffs All For Nothing As Only 4 Episodes Will Be Made

TBS JUGGERNAUT ‘FRANK TV’ BEANED BY WRITERS STRIKE: Many baseball fans spent their TBS viewing experience shielding their eyes from Frank Caliendo. You know, the star of “Frank TV“, the show whose nonstop ads were beaten into your head like Jose Offerman at a Bridgeport Bluefish game.

After all that Madison Avenue misery, how many episodes will the world have to endure?

Frank TV

Four.

DEADSPIN broadcasts word that only a quartet of Caliendo craziness will be produced, due to the writers strike.We’re shocked - not that only four shows will be made, but that Frank’s program would actually have writers.

Eh, who needs ‘em. Who wouldn’t be entertained by John Madden impressions for 45 minutes straight? The same ones who can put with three hours of the real thing on NBC.

Frank TV impression explanation

On a side note, it’s not a good sign of your mimicking talent when you have to explain your impressions.