Chavez Advises K-Rod On ‘Difficult’ United States

Venezuela’s president, Hugo Chavez took time away from his busy schedule imprisoning and murdering political dissidents and uniting South America as a totalitarian-run continent to put in a phone call to Mets closer and Venezuelan Francisco Rodriguez.

Hugo Chavez Advises K-Rod Francisco Rodriguez

Apparently the news of Rodriguez being arraigned on charges of assaulting the grandfather of his children struck a chord with the bloodthirsty tyrant.

Chavez recently talked about that phone conversation during a speech delivered on Venezuelan’s state-run television network: Read more…

Speed Read: Is Rubio Dissing Wolves For Europe?

The Clippers’ selection of Blake Griffin with the first pick in the NBA Draft last night was a forgone conclusion, so most of the draft drama was centered around Spanish point guard sensation Ricky Rubio. Over the past couple of weeks, Rubio became one of the most fascinating prospects in draft history — he doesn’t want to play in a small market or a cold city, his agent didn’t let him work out against other humans (which led to the strange one-on-none workout in Sacramento), he still has a huge buyout in his European contract, and nobody can really agree about how good he really is (he could be the next Steve Nash or the next Dan Dickau, and neither scenario would be surprising).

Ricky Rubio

His uncertain status was too much for OKC and Sacramento to put up with, to the point that the Kings decided they’d rather deal with the guy who was driving when his cousin shot someone. The Wolves were thrilled when he fell to them at #5, but because we all know that nothing good can happen to Minnesota, fans in the great white north might want to hold off on burning that Bassy Telfair jersey: Ricky’s dad is already telling people that he’s now thinking about staying in Europe for another year or two.

In other words, Ricky seems to be rejecting Minneapolis as his future home. Any threat to not come to the NBA isn’t really financial leverage, since his contract is slotted based on his position in the draft. But he could be pulling this stunt to try and force a trade to a city that’s more to his liking, such as New York. He might also be wondering (like a lot of other people) why the Wolves took another point guard (Johnny Flynn) with the #6 pick. Here’s what Mr. Rubio told MARCA (via FANHOUSE):

“We are going to speak with the [staff] of Minnesota and see what’s happening, because, in some hours, we may be in Minnesota or in another place.”

Ricky Rubio

He’s either expressing confusion over the Wolves’ intentions of keeping his son, or he’s basically telling them they better trade because there’s no way Ricky’s coming to play there.

After being drafted, ESPN’s Mark Jones asked Ricky to compare his game to that of a current NBA player. To which he simply replied: “I’m Ricky Rubio” (to the amusement of the MSG crowd). Scroll to the 3:20 mark of this video:

Surely I’m not the only person who thought of this when I saw the interview:

After Minnesota picked Flynn, it looked like Stephen Curry might fall to the Knicks, and it was no secret that he wanted to call MSG his home. But the Warriors didn’t get the memo and picked him, sending the Knicks fans on hand into depressed hysterics. It was only fitting that the boos rained down on Jordan Hill, who had no chance to win over the New York crowd in such a short period of time. At least he’s probably better than Renaldo Balkman.

The other strange development of the night was Brandon Jennings‘ last-minute decision to not attend the draft at the advice of his agent, who seemed uneasy about letting his client end up like Rashard Lewis, who famously slid way down the draft board while TV cameras watched his every emotion. Well, as it turns out, Jennings went 10th to the Bucks, then decided to show up a few picks later to get his photo op with David Stern. Now, if Jennings turns out anything like Lewis, he wouldn’t have cared when he was drafted.

HOOPSHYPE has a good recap of the draft up, and Kings fans are going to need to steer clear of hairdryers and bathtubs after reading that they’ve got the next Larry Hughes on their hands. The suit of the night, without a doubt, belonged to James Harden:

James Harden

(Mustard suit + bowtie = smooth)

There were some other things going on in the sports world last night, including the resolution to one of the stupidest athlete spats in recent memory. With the Yankees heading to Queens for a weekend series with the Mets, the tensions between Francisco Rodriguez and Brian Bruney once again became back page news. But the NY DAILY NEWS reports that it was all settled last week, when Bruney sent a clubhouse attendant over the Mets clubhouse to apologize to K-Rod on his behalf. I was accused of some anti-Yankee bias in my original post about this matter, but really, c’mon, sending an attendant to apologize for you? How lame is that? I would’ve loved to see that exchange at K-Rod’s locker.

Brian Bruney

A lot of major league pitchers struggle, and a lot are sent to the minors to work through their troubles. But few actually go to their team and ask to be sent down, like the Pirates’ Ian Snell has done. Snell is 2-8 this year with a 5.36 ERA and awful 1.624 WHIP. He had actually been throwing better as of late, but said he thought it was best for the team to be sent down because he was bringing too much negativity to the team. I can’t decide if this is an alarming lack of confidence and perseverance on Snell’s part or a refreshing selfless decision done in the interest of helping his team and his own career. Regardless, Snell has actually been slightly better this year than last, when he had a 5.42 ERA and even more god-awful 1.765 WHIP, and he threw a full slate of 31 starts. Here’s what Snell told the PITTSBURGH POST-GAZETTE’s Dejan Kovacevic:

“I don’t want to point fingers and make excuses. I just made a better decision for myself, my career and my life.” I asked what he needs to do: “Nothing. You guys don’t understand it unless you played baseball. You don’t understand it, and the people at home don’t understand it. I’m just going down there, get my thoughts together and do well.”

I think he just needs a hug, not a stint in AAA.

Before we get to today’s links, I feel like taking a few minutes to watch the “Smooth Criminal” video again. There’s no doubt that Michael Jackson was a weird dude, and possibly a perv on such a level that he doesn’t deserve our grief. But is it so bad to spend a day remembering why we loved the guy? All that other stuff will come back around soon enough.

Now let’s get on with those links:

• Ever wonder who that lady is who gives the draft picks their hat before they walk over to meet David Stern? Wonder no more.

Darko Milicic has been freed by the Grizzlies…and is going to the Knicks in a swap for Quentin Richardson. It’s crazy to think that Darko’s still just 24 years old, and Mike D’Antoni thinks he can resurrect Darko’s career (well, his career was never really alive).

• First, the Dolphins sold their stadium naming rights to Jimmy Buffett, and now Gloria Estefan has bought a piece of the team. I’m told there are currently no plans to start calling the team the “Sound Machine.”

• The Portland Trail Blazers are going to host a preseason game at Seattle’s Key Arena in October. As if Seattle fans needed more reasons to hate the Blazers.

Vijay Singh attempted to bail accused swindler Allen Stanford out of jail, but was told he couldn’t because he isn’t an American, according to CNBC’s Darren Rovell. This is like the first time I’ve ever heard about Vijay being a really generous guy, and it’s to someone who probably stole a bunch of money from him.

• According to this AFP story, “Gay clocks wind-aided 9.75″ at the US Track and Field Championships. Miss California is unimpressed.

• Admitted PED user Alex Rodriguez tied current Yankee advisor Reggie Jackson on the all-time homer list last night, which Reggie isn’t exactly happy about. Awwwkwaaard.

Frank Thomas says he’s “close” to retiring, which will be news to the one person in the universe who doesn’t already think that Frank Thomas is retired. That person being Frank Thomas, of course.

• A man has now been arrested in connection with Karen Sypher’s plan to extort cash from Rick Pitino. Why was Lester Goetzinger so willing to help out in this scheme? Were sexual favors involved or something? Oh, actually, they were.

• Wimbledon’s in full swing, and a rising star you might want to keep an eye on (or both your eyes on, really) is Caroline Wozniacki out of Denmark. She’s the #9 seed and has advanced to the third round. Here she is enjoying some time off the court:

Caroline Wozniacki

And looking good on the court:

Caroline Wozniacki

Who’s going to be the bigger NBA star?

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K-Rod Owns Yankees’ Bruney In Print & On Field

On a weekend featuring Luis Castillo’s inexplicable error and one of the worst starts of Johan Santana’s career, DL’d Yankee reliever Brian Bruney somehow managed to steal the spotlight when he went after Francisco Rodriguez after Friday night’s game. K-Rod responded to the comments initially with a resounding “Who?“, but today escalated the situation by seeking Bruney out during warmups today and getting right in his face.

K-Rod Mets chef

(”What did you say about my lobster bisque?”)

So what was it that raised K-Rod’s ire? After Castillo’s dropped pop-up that gave the Yankees the win on Friday with Rodriguez on the mound, Bruney gave this quote to the HUNTERDON COUNTY DEMOCRAT: “Couldn’t have happened to a better guy on the mound, either. He’s got a tired act. He gets what he deserves, man. I just don’t like watching the guy pitch. I think it’s embarrassing.”

The most telling part in all of this is that the only paper that was interested in getting Bruney’s reaction after the game was the HUNTERDON COUNTY DEMOCRAT (which is apparently in New Jersey).  And from Sunday’s reports, it appears as if K-Rod is getting the best of this confrontation. There’s a reason he’s a closer, you know.

Read more…

Now Batting: A 3-foot-2 Walk-Drawing Machine

What if you had a hitter who was all-but guaranteed to walk every time at bat. That’d be the most useful player ever, right? An OBP of 1.000. An OPS better than all but a couple major leaguers. A guaranteed leadoff baserunner. A guaranteed bases-loaded walk.

Dave Flood

(Flood’s the one at bottom, FYI.)

That’s the thinking behind the independent York Revolution trying out 3-foot-2-inch Dave Flood in spring training. It’s easy to jump to the conclusion that this is a publicity stunt, one which Atlantic League teams are known for. But there’s hard research behind this experiment, and at least some people think it could change the game of baseball.

Read more…

‘Mets Are Team To Beat,’ Says Delusional New Hire

The Mets have drawn even with the Phillies in one vital area. Not in the standings, obviously. But in trash-talking.

Francisco Rodriguez

(He may need that hardhat when the division lead starts crumbling.)

Giving Jimmy Rollins competition for most obvious bulletin board material is new Met Francisco Rodriguez. Frankie, saying this kind of thing may have flown in Anaheim, where no one really cared about baseball. But here, you made the mistake of talking where the media could hear you; this story is going to be run into the ground before spring training.

Read more…

CC Sabathia Takes The Money, Is Now A Yankee

Baseball’s Winter Meetings had been pretty boring before Francisco Rodriguez signed a three-year deal with the New York Mets on Tuesday, and K-Rod agreed to a deal that was well short of the five-year contract he and his agent had been looking for. Apparently seeing that Rodriguez, who set the MLB saves record last season with 62, couldn’t even get money and years he was looking for set off some alarms in CC Sabathia’s head.

CC may have wanted to be a Dodger, and he may have been hoping that some west coast team would come swooping in and offer him a deal comparable to the $140 million the Yankees had been offering, but it was becoming more apparent with each hour that it just wasn’t going to happen. Which is probably why, in the end, Sabathia finally realized he’d be the world’s biggest moron to turn down that kind of money right now.

Read more…

Blog Jam: Had Sarah Palin Stuck To Sportscasting

Ben Heller of CBS SPORTS wonders what would’ve happened had Sarah Palin stuck with sportscasting.

Sarah Palin

• Speaking of the VP debate, GIZMODO catches a CNN political analyst using his on-air laptop to check out the Cubs choking again.

• COLLEGE OFF THE RECORD learns Tim Tebow is a little bit country, as the Florida Gators QB sings on stage with Brad Paisley.

• DC SPORTS BOG notes it’s already been an up-and-down season for the Washington Captials, as the team takes some rollercoaster rides.

Read more…

Anna Rawson 1st In Our Hearts, 1st On The Board

Anna Rawson, 150th on the money list but 1st on our hot list, finished on top of the leaderboard after the first round of the Bell Micro Classic.

Anna Rawson bikini

Feel free to call her up to offer some congratulations.

Terrell Owens says it could’ve worked out with him & Donovan McNabb, but the Eagles QB was just too jealous of T.O.’s star power.

• Looks like Rutgers has rolled back to his rotten football ways. How’s that new stadium funding coming?

• Set a place for Sidney Crosby at your dinner table, ’cause he’s coming over with your Penguins season tickets.

• The Patriots are fuming over the latest fashion statement celebrating Bernard Pollard’s takedown of Tom Brady.

Read more…

Bobby Thigpen On The Edge Of Total Irrelevance

The Angels’ Francisco Rodriguez is lucky enough to play on a team that on 63 occasions this year has managed to take a lead, but not too big of a lead, into the ninth inning. And since he’s been successful in that role 57 times he now shares the single-season record in a weird, arbitrary statistic. Seriously, all you need to know about saves is that a guy once got one in a game his team won by 27 runs.

Bobby Thigpen and Francisco Rodriguez

In last night’s win over Seattle, the Angels took a 7-3 lead into the ninth inning, when Scot Shields allowed the first two runners to reach safely. Mike Scioscia immediately popped out of the dugout to remove Shields and bring in Rodriguez, who shockingly managed to not pitch like an absolute moron and held on to that precarious four-run advantage against a crappy Mariner offense. And oh yeah, he got the save.

Read more…

Blogz: Bikini-less Misty May-Treanor’s First Pitch

• HOME RUN DERBY tosses up images of Misty May-Treanor throwing out the first pitch at yesterday’s Diamondbacks-Marlins game.

Misty May Treanor baseball volleyball

You probably didn’t recognize her at first, since she wasn’t in a bikini being butt-slapped by George W. Bush. (Although she did pose for pics with John McCain.)

• LARRY BROWN SPORTS types up word that Dodgers manager Joe Torre is joining the blogosphere.

• WITH LEATHER reels in the news of a North Carolina fisherman who caught a record-sized catfish - with his granddaughter’s Barbie pole.

• Holy Cow! WALKOFF WALK wonders who’s the dumbbell that made this New Orleans gym TV ad featuring a really bad Harry Caray impersonation.

Read more…