Bonjour, Les Enfants! Tony Parker In French ‘Toon

It’s getting to the point where Tony Parker is famous for just being Tony Parker. Oh, not in America, mind you; here, he’s little more than just another point guard, albeit a pretty good one. No, France is where Parker really shines, being a native and all. There, he and Eva Longoria are famous enough that their mere presence, their existence, is a big deal. Did you know he’s a rapper there? Did you know he sucks at it? Did you know that it doesn’t matter to France that he sucks?

Eva Longoria Tony Parker Wedding France
(He’s such a big deal that he just puts the name of the country on his shirt and they go wild. This has got to stop.)

So now that Parker can do basically whatever he wants and get even more popular as a result, the logical endgame is a medium that requires neither talent nor makeup: children’s television! It’s about a bunch of kids in America, and you’ll just never guess what sport they and Tony are playing.

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French Rugby Fans Faulted for Releasing Roosters

I was originally going to title this post “French Fans Get Their Cocks Out For Rugby Match”, but some more sensitive viewers might misunderstand what the article would be about. Perhaps they’d think I was going to discuss this event. But today’s actual story is really for the birds.

Tricolor rooster

A recent rugby match between France & New Zealand in Wellington was occassionally interrupted by some foul play. Not one, not two, but three roosters were tossed onto the field at different times throughout the match. One of the roosters was painted up in red, white and blue (see photo above). How cocky.

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Christmas Magic As Temple Dumps Tennessee

For a top-10 team, this Tennessee squad really hasn’t seemed that overwhelming, has it? Well, if you were feeling that way heading into Saturday’s slate of college basketball games, you can officially pat yourself on the back. Tennessee now has a second loss, thanks to the Temple Owls and, right on time, a man with the surname of Christmas.

dionte christmas

(Merry Christmas! Yes, it’s a bad pun. We’re sorry.)

Dionte Christmas scored a season-high 35 points, helping lift the Owls right over Rocky Top in Philadelphia, helping the A-10ers pull away for an 88-72 win. The win was easily the biggest regular season win in coach Fran Dunphy’s brief three-year tenure and culminated with Santa-suit clad students rushing the court as the final buzzer sounded.

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France Continues to be Unimpressed with Lance

In the United States the human interest story of Lance Armstrong earned the cyclist a special place in the hearts and minds of Americans (including Matthew McConaughey), lots of cash and maybe even an Olsen twin.

Lance Armstrong

In France, however, Lance remains an unpopular figure. In an interview with French sports newspaper L’EQUIPE, Jean-Etienne Amaury the new head of the Tour de France’s organizer said the seven-time winner of the Tour an “embarrassed” cycling’s most famous race.

The 32 year-old Amaury who took over the organization that his father founded told the paper, “We can’t say that he has not embarrassed the Tour de France, as he has had a quite a complicated history with it. Read more…

French Skydiver Killed Delivering Soccer Game Ball

While certainly not a common occurrence, the practice of having a sporting events’ game ball delivered by a skydiver is probably over. While the safety of the diver has always been in question, nobody really ever considered that the crowd might be in the line of fire as well, should a diver go astray. And in France, one definitely went astray. The argument for domed stadiums just got unexpectedly stronger.

skydiver crash

Prior to a Ukraine-France soccer match near Orleans, France, on Thursday, a group of seven skydivers were supposed to land on the field, with the last delivering the match’s official game ball. Unfortunately, in the world of skydiving, going 6-for-7 on successful landings is a very bad thing.

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Lance Wants To Own The Tour de France, Literally

It could be argued that from 1999 to 2005, Lance Armstrong owned the Tour de France.   In those seven years, Lance won the race seven times, and pissed off a whole lot of French people in the process.   Well, if you think the French hated Armstrong for constantly winning their event, wait until they hear what Lance has planned next.

There are rumors circulating that Lance’s return to the race this season is just the beginning of his plan, as it appears Armstrong is no longer content with owning the yellow jacket year after year.   He wants to own the entire damn race.

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“It’s A Dutch Oven, And The French Are Toast!”

It’s not like we’re purposefully serving up so much scatological sports news, but this one was too good to, um, “pass” up.

AWFUL ANNOUNCING releases video (passed along by REAL CLEAR SPORTS) of ESPN soccer announcer Adrian Healey, who came up with a comical comment during Friday’s Netherlands-France match-up.

Wesley Sneijder had just notched a goal for the Nederlanders, the fourth & final dagger into the French. Then thinking quickly, Healey let loose with this fun phrase:

Very clever. But Adrian probably has no idea how amusing it really is.

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Zidane Comeback Designed To Mend His Memory?

Zinedine Zidane retired after the World Cup at a tender 34, so it comes as no surprise that he’s now considering a comeback, thanks in part to a pitch from French sports mag L’EQUIPE.

Zidane Lego Head Butt

Zidane in a Saturday interview told the publication: “I have no goal but coming back into football, I would like that.”

Zidane Headbutt

Based on his additional comments, it appears that driving Zidane in his possible comeback bid is lessening the effect his infamous headbutt in France’s 2006 World Cup final loss will have on his legacy. He revealed that the main reason he now doesn’t do interviews - and essentially has been hiding out from the public - are the non-stop questions about his attack on Marco Materazzi.

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