• In the most horrible of MLB hazings, the Padres’ rookies get dressed up as Hooters Girls. Isn’t playing for San Diego embarrassing enough already?

*Editor’s note: We’re sorry for sharing such a terrifying image. Please enjoy the following photo as a token of our sincerest apologies:

(SbB Girls Vanessa, Hillary and Kim make it all better)

• Ron Artest says Josh Howard’s stunning comments about the Star-Spangled Banner are an indictment of America’s education system.

• What do you do when your team sucks & no one’s coming out to the games? If you’re the Washington Nationals, you cut payroll by $20 million.

• Staying in the District, Agent Zero will be out of action until December, as Gilbert Arenas needs knee surgery again.

• No Tiger at the Ryder? No problem, as long as Boo Weekley is around to cause chuckles around the course.

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