Week In Review: So Long, Simona Halep’s Hooters

• Romanian teen tennis player Simona Halep goes through on her threat to get a breast reduction. We’ll never look at her the same way again.

Simona Halep's First Photo After Breast Reduction Surgery

• Chiefs RB Larry Johnson spends his offseason in Las Vegas, where he’s buying large champagne bottles for some thirsty ladies.

• The Ultimate Warrior shares his thoughts on the late Michael Jackson.

• Green Bay Packers QB Aaron Rodgers grabs himself a girlfriend in gorgeous grapefruit heiress Julie Henderson.

• Italian swimmer Flavia Zoccari feels more cheeky than usual, as her swimsuit splits at the seat during a meet.

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Italian Swimmer Suffers Suit Snafu As Seat Splits

• Ain’t that a pain in the butt: An unlucky Italian swimmer suffers a cheeky wardrobe malfunction during a meet.

Flavia Zoccari

• The Baltimore Orioles make history - but the good kind, for once.

• The head of L.A.’s schools is seething after Sacha Baron Cohen did a Bruno GQ photoshoot with some high school football players.

• America’s favorite couple is back - Terrell Owens & Joanna Krupa return to compete in ABC’s “Superstars“.

Stephon Marbury really doesn’t want to go back to New York.

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I Am Invincible! I Can… Wait, Do You Feel A Draft?

There is no sports governing body more fussy than FINA when it comes to approving swimsuits. Among issues scrutinized by the watery overlords are buoyancy, “air trapping effects” and material thickness. Sadly, “may create open ass-flap like a pair of child’s footy pajamas” seems to have been overlooked. FINA, and more importantly the makers of the controversial Jaked J01 swimsuit, have some ’splainin’ to do.

Flavia Zoccari

Italian Olympic swimmer Flavia Zoccari, 22, was the unfortunate victim of swimsuit malfunction at the Mediterranean Games in Pescara, Italy, on Tuesday, as she was forced to sit out a championship race after her suit burst open in the rear. Of course my proposal — that all competitive swimmers be required to participate nude — is ignored on an annual basis. That would solve problems such as this, in which Zoccari was denied her big moment after all of that training. More photos (ahem) below.

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