There is nothing in our fine world - nothing, I tell you - better than watching two fully-grown men get in a fight. Not fight in a fight, mind you, but get into one; the moment before punches are thrown, when the two guys are jawing back and forth with the most insane and ridiculous taunts they can muster. Most of these, hilariously, devolve into some kind of weird gay banter, with the participants saying accidentally homoerotic things like “Your ass is mine!”, etc. But none of that could prepare you for the new front-runner for Gayest Fighting Words of All Time: “I’m going to make you pregnant.”
(The result of an ass-kicking)
The quote was from this past week’s Bills-Jets contest in the Meadowlands. Writer Jeff Johnson (he of the fantastic, but unfortunately now defunct, “Weekly NFL Picks” column for McSweeney’s) was taking in a game when a diminutive Bills fans, whom he refers to as Little Joe Pesci, began delivering harsh words to a Jets fan.
And what follows is historic.