It probably wouldn’t come as that much of a surprise that boys who play sports in high school were more likely than their non-sporting counterparts to engage in bad habits (full disclosure: football here, fightin’, no drankin’); after all, these were the meatheads of the class, the jackasses that ended up in jackass jobs like “policeman.”* We’re not saying athletes were in worse shape or anything - that’s clearly not the case - but that they binge drank and fought more often.

(Please, regard this only as an “outlier.”)

Ah, but the ladies? If the soccer fight from above is any indication, they’re getting as tossed as the guys and throwing more punches too, right? Only makes sense that that adrenaline gets pumping and takes up residence in their brain, right?

Well, no, wrong; young female athletes are less likely to engage in those activities, not more. See, you learned something today.

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The first rule of fight club is … oh, forget about the rules of fight club. We’re going to talk about fight club because, quite frankly, its real-life incarnation is absolutely appalling.

(Yes, this is an actual scene from a Felony Fights video.)

Welcome to the world of felony fights, found conveniently at FELONYFIGHTS.COM, at least until any federal authorities discover that people are videotaping human cockfighting and selling the results for what has to be a massive profit. You may have tripped across one of their bare-knuckled YouTube clips on a random site (and if you haven’t, we’ve got two after the jump), but you probably didn’t know that, with the help of a legion of dumb fighters, Felony Fights has built a miniature Girls Gone Wild-style empire.

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On Thursday, Kevin Harvick and Carl Edwards got a little catty while rain halted qualifying at Charlotte. Before we go any further, words can’t do this situation justice, so let’s get this picture out of the way.

(Whoa! Careful there, Kimbo! Don’t hurt anyone!)

To recap, last weekend, Edwards caused a 12-car pileup that took out, among other drivers, Harvick. Harvick responded in a positively mature manner by calling Edwards a “pansy,” though we’re pretty sure Harvick would have chosen a slightly different word away from the media.

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Jose Canseco’s never-ending quest to somehow remain in the spotlight has led him to do some pretty odd things in the last few years. Of course there were the books that helped expose the steroid epidemic in Major League Baseball, and there was the appearance on “Moment of Truth”. Still, my favorite Jose Canseco moment had to be when he got his ass kicked by Vai Sikahema in a celebrity boxing match (celebrity being a relative term).

Well, it appears that one beat down just wasn’t enough for Jose. He loves the pain, he needs the pain. It’s how he knows he’s alive, and Jose wants to live again!

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BALTO LITTLE LEAGUE TEAM POPPED AFTER WARNER WIN: The BALTIMORE SUN reports that the local kids are properly paying attention to college and pro football. A Baltimore-based Pop Warner team (12 to 15-year-olds) last week won their age-group national championship, defeating a team from Sarasota in the Finals in Florida.

But later after the game, a fight broke out between the Baltimore squad and a team from Hawaii, and the Baltos were ejected from their Disney resort accomodations.Needless to say, the Bengals have since dispatched a raft of scouts to B’More to open contract negotiations in earnest. Now if only Bobby Petrino’s Razorback charges can beat them to it.