South African Welfare Now Includes World Cup Tix

For the past couple years, the Republic of South Africa has been loudly proclaiming that the 2010 World Cup is going to be a smashing success, that their country will have no problems hosting the world’s largest sporting event, and that everything is going perfectly according to plan. The one thing they forgot, though, is that they have a free press and that the rest of the world has access to things like the Internet.

FIFA 2010 World Cup South Africa

But you’ve gotta give South Africa credit for being creative. They’ve averted strikes and other potentially disastrous events so far, and now they’ve gotten creative about their lack of ticket sales as well, giving away thousands of tickets to impoverished South Africans.

Read more…

Iraq Can’t Even Make Any Money Playing Soccer

All that stood between Iraq and winning $1.4 million was for someone to put a ball into a net behind a bunch of guys from New Zealand two times within 90+ minute.  It would have put Iraqi soccer into a very rare category: Iraqi businesses making money. And it should have been simple: New Zealand has lost every single game they’ve ever played in a FIFA tournament.

Iraq mission accomplished

Instead, Iraq failed to score once while Spain did everything in their power to help, throttling the host South African team like they thought they were Asians to put Iraq in a position to enter the money round and take home at least a million dollars from the Condeferations Cup.  Instead, they’ll get nothing and they’ll like it. Couldn’t someone have told Iraq that they were playing Kuwait?

Read more…

Baron Davis Desperate For Housewife Teri Hatcher

• Following in the footsteps of Tony Parker, YARDBARKER reports that the Warriors’ Baron Davis is Desperate for Housewife Teri Hatcher:

Baron Davis Teri Hatcher

• THE SPORTS GOD feels a bit drowsy in listing the 10 Most Boring Sports Events.

Reggie Miller’s not the only one looking for a comeback, as SPORTS ILLUSTRATED notes Penny’s back with Shaq.

Matt Leinart’s made it to the movies after all! FAN IQ gets a good seat, as Arizona Cardinals coach Ken Whisenhunt takes his players to the local cinema:

Matt Leinart Movies

Well, it’s safer than a trip to the water park. Unless you choke on the theater popcorn.

• Speaking of Leinie, DEADSPIN discovers he’s none too pleased about his Madden 08 rating.

• SPORTS COLUMN needs to re-check their feng shui, as Greg Oden gives a tour of his fancy digs.

• EPOCH TIMES gasps that Maria Sharapova advanced in the Los Angeles Open after her opponent, like many men who face her, had trouble breathing:

Maria Sharapova bikini

• PACKERS NEWS looks for their reading glasses, as Brett Favre’s wife Deanna has a book coming out in October.

• Blimey! LION IN OIL finds that a FIFA V.P. doesn’t care much for England.

• AOL FANHOUSE needs to do some beer lifts, as John Daly’s in better shape than Tiger Woods:

John Daly Drunk Photo

• THE WIZARD OF ODDS checks their wallet, as tickets for Notre Dame-Penn State are going for over $1,000.

• The HUFFINGTON POST realized that the Brooklyn Cyclones aren’t just a minor league baseball team.