Where Is William Wallace When You Need Him?

A few years ago a group of friends and I all bought season tickets to the Chicago Bears.   Every Sunday morning when the Bears were playing at home, we’d get down to Soldier Field at around 8AM and begin our tailgating celebration.  Now considering that none of us are the greatest cooks, we generally just focused on drinking as many beers as possible before going into the stadium.   Then as game time approached, we’d all stuff around five or six beers into our pockets or pant legs to sneak into Soldier Field.   We never got busted, as they didn’t really search all that hard.

“They may take our lives, but they’ll never take our BOOOOOOOZE!  What?  They did?  Son of a…”

In recent years, this has changed.  Security at Soldier Field conducts a search that ends just shy of an anal probe, so sneaking in beer has become nearly impossible.   I never understood this because even though there were a ton of drunk people inside the stadium, it’s not like we were rioting or anything.   Everyone knows that riots are limited to soccer and that you need around 240 gallons of alcohol to approach rioting status.

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