ESPN Fantasy Embraces “Tele-Phone” Technology

ESPN Fantasy owners like yours truly got a rather strange email last night, titled “Need Fantasy Help? We’re here for you.” Now, being that this was after two weeks of play and the header included basic questions about fantasy sports, we thought this was some automatic email sent out because we’re 0-2; like ESPN was saying “We see that you suck at this; do you know what ‘fantasy sports’ is?”

ESPN Screencap 2
(Are we sure this isn’t just an elaborate hoax for our rivals to get our login? If we see half our roster on the waiver wire, so help us….)

Ah, but no no, the WWL wasn’t just patronizing us. It turns out they’ve got help for all fans… over the telephone. Yes, ESPN, still licking its wounds from its failed foray into the 900 number craze a decade ago (I can’t be the only one who remembers that, right?), is offering a toll-free number to help fantasy owners do their fantasying.

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Week In Review: Danica to Drop ‘em for ESPN Mag

Danica Patrick could be removing her racing suit to pose for an all-nude (yet tastefully done) pictorial for ESPN The Magazine.

Danica Patrick topless

(Well, it’s a start)

• And the Rick Pitino sex-tortion scandal gets more & more pitiful.

• This FIBA Americas basketball tournament is getting quite rough. If it isn’t Mexico & Uruguay throwing punches & chairs, it’s security hassling Charlie Villanueva & his mother.

• College football players could lose their hotel privileges - for home games. But keeping the kids out of the local Motel 6 could actually be a bad idea.

• Are fantasy sports bad for your relationships? Well, in Texas, it can certainly be bad for your health.

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Stanford $$$ Flushed Down Coach’s $70K Toilet?

• While Stanford suffers through athletic budget problems, football coach Jim Harbaugh gets himself a new $70,000 private bathroom & shower.

Jim Harbaugh golden toilet

• The SEC is certainly a selfless b-ball conference. When the players aren’t giving up scholarships to allow other people onto the team, their coaches are giving up raises so they can afford team trips to Australia.

• UConn is taking the first steps to curtail catastrophic cheerleader injuries.

• Schools aren’t sold on Bud Light’s plans for college-colored Fan Cans.

• Are fantasy sports a nightmare for relationships & fan allegiances?

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When Your Fantasy Football Draft Ends In Gunplay

Perhaps only in Texas could a fantasy football draft end with guns blazing, two people in the hospital and Plaxico Burress chosen early in the second round. That last part is a writer’s embellishment, but it fits with the other activities that occurred early Sunday morning in Keller, Texas, when a dispute over noise at a fantasy football party ended with one neighbor shooting another.

Edward M. Stewart had gone to his back fence to complain to his neighbor, Ryan Roh, that his fantasy draft party was too loud. One thing led to another, and Roh jumped the fence to fight Stewart, and after some pushing, Stewart produced a gun and shot Roh in the abdomen. Oh, and the bullet also hit Stewart’s own wife in the leg. That’s why I’m participating in my draft online this year.

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High School Teaches Math with Fantasy Football

For those of you who think you went to the awesomest high school ever just because it had a big lawn and that drama teacher was just so neat, time to back up off it, because Bay Cove Academy is about to blow your mind. Fantasy football… in math class.

Jesus Football
(Like your football fantasy isn’t tackling Jesus on a veer option)

For real. Now these kids can start getting good grades just by sitting down every Sunday and watching some football. I tried that in college, and I just ended up drunk all the time. The WALL STREET JOURNAL has more: Read more…

DeSean Jackson Has A History Of Messing Up TDs

A friend of mine went into last night’s Monday Night Football game with a five-point deficit in his fantasy football game, and in his league, the only thing you get points for is touchdowns. He had one player active last night, and it was Philadelphia Eagles wide receiver DeSean Jackson.

So when Donovan McNabb hit Jackson streaking down the middle of the field for what looked like a sure touchdown, my buddy began celebrating as he thought he had just won his game this week. Well, much like my friend, DeSean began celebrating a bit early.   Jackson tossed the ball behind him before ever crossing the goal line, and after a challenge by the Dallas Cowboys, the touchdown call was overturned and it was Eagles ball at the one. It was probably the most bone-headed play we’re going to see in the NFL this year, but as Rich Hofmann points out, this isn’t the first time one of DeSean’s celebrations has cost his team a touchdown.

(With video of DeSean’s dumb move after the jump.)

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Blog-O-Rama: Friedgen Almost Pulls A Mike Gundy

• STET SPORTS BLOG catches Maryland coach Ralph Friedgen almost pulling a Mike Gundy after a close win over Delaware.

Ralph Friedgen in golf cart

• WALKOFF WALK hurls up word that Todd Rundgren’s son is playing for the Dodgers’ Triple-A team in Vegas. (For those wondering who the heck Todd Rundgren is, he’s the guy that did that “Bang On The Drum All Day” song.)

• DEUCE OF DAVENPORT doesn’t know what to say, as researchers discover that watching sports can make you a better speaker.

• SIGNAL TO NOISE isn’t so pleased with everyone jumping to conclusions about Richard Collier’s character, just because the Jags lineman was shot in a drive-by attack.

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Never Ask Ballplayers for Fantasy Football Advice

Why does any sportswriter ever ask any ballplayer for their opinion on what their team should do to go to some mythical next level or stop drowning in the current one?  (We mean, other than the easily-produced quote and/or controversy to fill inches and minutes.)  What gives sportswriters the impression that ballplayers know any more about front office skills than we do?

Fantasy football trophy?

(We imagine Curt Schilling had this made for one of his fantasy football trophies)

For example, the NEW YORK TIMES checks in on the most exciting time of the year for many baseball players.  No, not the pennant races.  Not September callups, offering more people to carry their bags for them while dressed in drag.  (Though that one’s kinda cool.  We won’t lie.)

No, it’s time for fantasy football drafts, where you can get in on pools with Scot Shields (also known as “Easy Money”).

Why is he now known as “Mr. Sucker Bet” in the Tuffy household?
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Montana Lottery Takes a Fantasy Football Gamble

The state of Montana is all set to introduce a brand-new way to satisfy both the fantasy football connoisseur and the suckers who buy lottery tickets. Beginning this season, you will be able to stroll into one of many designated Montana watering holes, fill out a fantasy lottery ticket with your choice of NFLers (1QB, 1RB, 1WR, 1TE, 1K & 1Def), and plop down some cash in hopes of scoring the most points.

Montana Lottery Tim Donaghy

(Good thing Tim Donaghy wasn’t an *NFL* referee.)

If successful, you will be rewarded with your share of the state-run prize pool. If not (the more likely option), they are hoping you return the following week and try again. The cash that Montana is expected to generate from the game will go towards restoring the fledgling horse racing industry in the state, which was forced to close three race tracks within the past two years.

Ahhh, nothing like bailing out a gambling industry with more gambling.

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MIT Blackjack Whiz Eyes Fantasy Football

Jeff Ma knows something about winning - he was a member of the infamous MIT blackjack team that won millions of dollars by developing a card counting system to beat the Las Vegas casinos. In fact, he was the basis for “Ben Campbell,” the lead character in the hit movie “21″. Now the ASSOCIATED PRESS (via YAHOO! SPORTS) is reporting that Ma has turned his attention to fantasy sports.

21 poster

Ma and his partner have started Citizen Sports, and their first venture is a fantasy football league that can be managed through Facebook. Sports Illustrated, which has seen online competitors such as YAHOO!, ESPN and CBS SPORTSLINE turn fantasy league management into a lucrative business, have decided to throw their weight behind thisl. Will Citizen Sports have a Hollywood happy ending? It’s hard to say, but one thing is sure to be different from “21″: no amount of wins by your fantasy team will lead to you getting to sleep with Kate Bosworth.

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