Phillies Fan KO’ed With Single Punch At Citi Field

Maybe they’ve technically been playing baseball there for a month, but Citi Field finally opened officially last night. Remember, it’s not officially Spring until the first Phillies fan gets knocked out with an overhand right.

Mets Phillies fans fight

This is the second one-punch knockout we’ve featured this week, which just goes to show you the Northeast has cornered the market on boozing meatheads. And there’s something in this video for you even if you’re not a fan of either team: the two fanbases are slowly removing themselves from the gene pool, drunken brawl by drunken brawl.

Video (with NSFW language) after the jump.

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No Way! More Cubs Fans Get in Fights, Arrested

Somehow, the Chicago Cubs and Boston Red Sox have surpassed the New York Yankees as “Major League Baseball teams I am most repulsed by”, which seems unfathomable, given my hatred for the pinstripes.

Lovable Losers

Now, a postseason run by the Yanks could change that, but not if the Cubs keep beating the tar out of opposing fans. OUT OF RIGHT FIELD shoves us towards 620 WTMJ and the news — which you’ll never believe! — that Cubs fans are getting in fights again. This time, with those sober pacifists that some people call “Milwaukee Brewers fans”.

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Pirates Fans: Next Time Leave Your Teeth At Home

So far we’ve had Red Sox fans fight Yankees fans in the stands, Mets-Phillies fans tousling to the ground, and now we have filled out the trifecta: Atlanta Braves fans are now punchin’ up Pirates fans.

Pirates vs. Braves - get it?

(”I will find you … no matter how long it takes, no matter what Pirates hat you wear … I will find you!”)

The ATLANTA JOURNAL-CONSTITUTION collects the teeth on this story that happened back on April 2, when mild-mannered Pirates fan Bobby Collins went to a Braves-Pirates game in Atlanta with his nephew and friend. His transgression … wearing a Pittsburgh Pirates hat. A group of nearby rowdy Braves fans spotted him, and as the disheartened Pirates fans left in the eighth inning — Atlanta was busy scoring seven runs that inning — one of the Braves fans allegedly punched him in the jaw, shattering it, while knocking out several teeth. Read more…

Mets/Phillies Drunken Fights > Yanks/Sox Fights?

The bar was set at Fat Yankees Fan vs. Fat Red Sox Fan. Can the Drunk Mets Fan vs. Drunk Phillies Fan see their idiocy and raise them? Let’s see what THE 700 LEVEL dragged in.

Mets fan gets arrested for a fight

Enh. It’s close, but still way off. The Yankee/Red Sox brouhaha had a railing kill, making it closer to Space Mutiny than the Mets/Phillies fight. Although the Mets fan lying tummy first in a cocktail of blood and beer (Known In Philadelphia: The “Urbina Colada”) definitely gives this story traction if video ever surfaces. Read more…