Guess Tom Brady doesn’t have it so great, after all. The Pats QB lost his chance at perfection. ESPN has it in for him & his team. But worse of all - he’s not even dating one of the world’s 100 hottest women.

(That’s right, Gisele - hang your head in shame)

The BOSTON HERALD’S INSIDE TRACK uncovers the shameful news that Brady’s babe Gisele Bundchen didn’t make the cut for this year’s Maxim Hot 100. (So, that’s why Derek Jeter never hooked up with her.)

With this disappointing revelation, along with the ongoing Spygate stuff, could this week get any worse for poor ol’ Tom?

Well, if Gissie wasn’t jiggy wit’ Maxim, just who was? (With pics even!)

Read more…

Tony Parker was recently cruelly accused of treachery in matters of love. A Web site to be named later claimed Parker met a “model” named Alexandra Paressant at his wedding to Eva Longoria and later arranged an elaborate affair with her. Of course, anyone that’s seen Parker’s assist-to-TO ratio knows he can’t run anything that complex.

(What? Innocent??)

Unfortunately, this much has been proven to be true: he actually did marry Eva Longoria. There’s court documents and everything. You’d think we would have heard something about this by now, right?

However, the Web site in question has admitted they were duped. They issued a formal apology to (as this article puts it) “Longoria’s husband” (snicker) for the story and claim the “model” fooled them. Their due diligence probably involved double-checking the spelling of her name and verifying she had nude pictures of herself for the front page. Read more…

• Victory is mine! WIZZNUTZZ passes along pics of Wizards player and Stewie Griffin lookalike Oleksiy Pecherov clubbing it up in Miami.

• The SAN FRANCISCO CHRONICLE dresses down Oakland A’s outfielder Jeff Fiorentino paying for a party foul by spending a night out in Tokyo wearing a pink kimono.

• ESPN reports that Donnie Walsh’s departure from the Indiana Pacers may mean good news for Larry Bird but bad news for Isiah Thomas. Read more…

• SCOTT VAN PELT postulates that the Rays’ Evan Longoria may be hotter right now than Eva Longoria.

• HOME RUN DERBY knows who to blame for global warming - Steve Trachsel.

• THE ANGRY T argues that great NBA players don’t often become great NBA office personnel.

Read more…

SbB poses the hard-hitting questions:

• Would Maria Sharapova do a Playboy pictorial?

• Why haven’t the Packers Bikini Girls spread for Maxim yet?

• Ron Artest? Who’s that?

• Has Tony & Jessica’s Romo-ance fallen incomplete?

• What’s that on Eva Longoria’s neck?

• How did you get this number?

The great debate continues today. Not whether Kelly Tilghman should address the Tiger Woods lynching thing on-air later today (3pm ET, Golf Channel), but if Eva Longoria got the word “Nine” or “June” tattoed on the back of her neck.

Looks like Nine to us:

We’re assuming this is why she did it:

How much would you now love to see Parker pull a Kobe and goto double-digits? Wonder what number TP would pick. Perhaps Eva’s age: 32.