Speed Read: Floyd’s Follies Continue to Roil USC
Tim Floyd, USC’s men’s basketball coach for the moment (and this after almost becoming a leader of Wildcats), allegedly paid a handler a thousand dollars in cash to be delivered to O.J. Mayo in a successful attempt to encourage the young point guard to follow through on joining USC for a season after signing his letter of intent. (No, the handler wasn’t Li’l Romeo. Good guess, though.)
Everyone from the handler to Floyd to USC could be in varying levels of trouble if true. Therefore, absolutely no one except YAHOO! SPORTS’ source will speak on the record. Their investigative journalism has been hit and miss, though their commitment to providing original reporting has not wavered.
It’s unclear how seriously the reporting from the site with the silly name can be taken, though, as they clearly do not have fake conversations where they hype their stories around a ridiculously small table while being filmed in black-and-white. It’s not really journalism if it’s colorized.
(Journalism!)
From one stereotypically smoky back room to another, Delaware’s legislature has passed a law permitting sports betting in a desperate attempt to fill a gaping $600 million maw in the state budget. The governor has promised his signature on the bill once the state Supreme Court has spoken to the state constitutionality of the bill.
Delaware is one of only four states with a legal exemption to a 1992 federal law banning sports gambling and the only one east of the Mississippi. State lawmakers have high hopes of becoming a gambling mecca for sports enthusiasts; one called the opportunity “an unbelievable cash cow”. Again, it’s unclear how true this can be if no one will be allowed to gamble on the Wilmington Blue Rocks.
(The only thing you can tease here is the moose, sir)
Finally, from one set of rocks to another, Boston came back to defeat the Orlando Magic 92-88 last night to take a 3-2 series lead in a highly predictable collapse from the team in blue that has only one mode: jack the three up and cross your fingers.
Houston also got a condescending pat on the head for their Game 4 effort without Yao Ming before being penetrated 118-78 by the Lakers and falling behind 3-2 in their series. The Rockets now only have one reliable position: fetal.
(”… so that’s winning! Interesting.”)
On the other hand, three fine NHL Game 7s have now been scheduled after wins by Anaheim and Boston last night. Detroit never found its offense despite approximately 40392109 minutes on the power play while Carolina’s Cam Ward couldn’t quite figure out what all that goalie equipment should be used for. One possibility: handing off $1,000 in cash to the next O.J. Mayo?
And now a hail of bullet points discovered behind the olive loaf sandwich in the break room fridge; you know, the fridge that sent half your office to the hospital…
- Michael Phelps will return to competitive swimming this weekend with a new stroke to show off. Seeing will be believing, though; it’s very difficult to imagine Phelps has tired of the breaststroke in the slightest.
- Managers Clint Hurdle and Eric Wedge appear to be on the path to an early tee time with Bob Melvin. Both gentlemen received the dreaded vote of confidence yesterday, which is just a stalling tactic for the Rockies and Indians while they try to get the permission slips for their next managers signed by their parents.
- White Sox closer Bobby Jenks has supposedly been fined a grand total of $750 for throwing behind Ian Kinsler, though it’s likely more so for blabbing about his headhunting proclivities. If that doesn’t sound like a lot, it’s probably as much as he spends on his hideous facial hair each season.
- Ryan Zimmerman’s hitting streak is up to 30 games, proving Zimmerman to be the only bankable asset in Washington that can pass a decent stress test.
- Danny Granger is your most improved NBA player this season. Hopefully, he will enjoy his better parking spot and coupons for the team cafeteria (not valid on meatloaf day).
- Roger Goodell isn’t satisfied with hinting at more regular season games or expanding the NFL Draft to three days in prime time; now he’s sniffing around multiple NFL games in Europe each season. If you know of any lotion that will help prevent chafing of cash cows due to overmilking, please contact the Commissioner’s Office, c/o this station.
- What’s that? A walkoff walk? Bring out the shrimp!
- A Twin Cities columnist would like the damned hippies to get off his public land lawn with their Frisbee golf. You can practically hear the rocking chair creak between paragraphs.
- Phillies outfielder Jayson Werth stole second, third, and home last night. Joe Morgan has filed the necessary paperwork to legally adopt Werth.
- A 17-year-old wunderkind golfer will participate in this weekend’s PGA Championship. He’ll be the youngest participant in the event ever, reminding you gently that you will never be as successful in your whole stinkin’ life as he has been before high school graduation. Now have a great day!
