Big Red Machine Helps Ellen, Clooney Hook Up

Since most of our readers are male, I am going to assume that you have never watched an episode of Ellen DeGeneres’ talk show. Apparently, she has been obsessed with getting George Clooney on the show since she moved into a new studio in Burbank on the same lot as the Oscar-winning actor. (Seriously, what’s up with lesbian daytime talk show hosts and their crushes on leading men? First it was Rosie O’Donnell and Tom Cruise, and now Ellen and Clooney.)

Ellen DeGeneres with guests Joe Morgan, Johnny Bench and George Clooney

Calling on friends and co-stars of Clooney such as Brad Pitt and Noah Wylie didn’t help Ellen get her man (insert joke here), but Wylie did give her a useful suggestion: Clooney’s nuts for the Cincinnati Reds, so why not get some members of the old Big Red Machine to help you out. And it turns out that was exactly the hook that was needed, as MLB.com reports that Clooney taped an appearance on the show along with Hall of Famers Joe Morgan and Johnny Bench that is scheduled to air on Monday.

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Brog: Fat Slob Fielder Costing Crew Down Stretch?

One of the most overlooked stories of the baseball season is coming to the fore as the Brewers bumble down the stretch:

Prince Fielder Weight Comparison Fat Slob in 2008

Why is no one talking about how gigantic *vegetarian* Prince Fielder has become?

That photo looks like about a 40-pound weight gain in two years. I saw Fielder in L.A. a few weeks ago and he’s so fat now that he nearly keels over every time he has to make a defensive play. He also is having a subpar year and hasn’t hit a lick in the past month.

In early August, he attacked a teammate in the dugout and then later saying he didn’t need to apologize for his passion for the game. He’s 50 pounds overweight yet he’s passionate about his profession?

While no one is saying boo right now about Fielder’s overgrown girth (Ned? Doug? Hello?!), you can bet if the Brewers flame out again at the end of the season, and Fielder continues his downward hitting trend, the elephant in the clubhouse room will be impossible to ignore.

Tuesday Ellen DeGeneres had Olympic pixie (and hottie in my book) Shawn Johnson on her TV talk show. Yesterday, it was Olympic volleyball hotties Kerri Walsh and Misty May-Treanor bouncing around while wearing next to nothing.

Ellen lusts after Olympic Volleyball chicks

(Ellen feels the need to strap on a diaper?)

SPORTS BUSINESS DAILY reports that during the show, May-Treanor talked about the “butt slaps” Walsh gives her during matches, saying, “I don’t notice it because I’m on the receiving end. … It’s like a high-five now.

Ellen DeGeneres Pam Anderson

Later, show guest Pamela Anderson asked DeGeneres, “Are (Walsh and May-Treanor) coming out?” Anderson then ripped off her dress to reveal a bikini, saying, “I can’t help myself.

Funny, I thought that was Ellen’s line.

I got to thinking about it, and I realized that I’m probably the only person breathing who has hosted both the USC and Ohio State radio broadcast pre- and postgame shows. And taken calls from fans of both teams on their home radio station.

I worked for Ohio State radio flagship WBNS in Columbus back in the ’90s, and along with my football gameday duties, co-hosted a daily sports talkshow with ESPN’s Kirk Herbstreit.

SbB Girl Jenna at USC Football Game

(SbB Girl Jenna at USC game with tickets from My Boy Barry)

And in the early ’00s, I hosted pre- and postgame activities for then-USC football radio flagship KMPC in Los Angeles.

I’ve had a couple people ask me this week about the intensity of the fans from the two schools. I can say, unequivocally, that Ohio State fans are the craziest I’ve ever come across.

When I cohosted Herbstreit’s daily show, we had to put a moratorium on OSU-Michigan calls to the show except for game week, ‘else that’s all people would ever call about. No matter what time of year. Meanwhile, like everything else here, USC gets a little swallowed up in the massive L.A. market. Not to mention the local UCLA fans who despise the school they call the University of Spoiled Children.

SbB Girl Jenna at USC Football Game

(SbB Girl Jenna at USC game with tickets from My Boy Barry)

And when I first arrived in L.A., back in 2000, the Trojans were trying to escape the depths of the Paul Hackett era. With Ohio State gamedays still fresh in my mind, I remember well how pathetic I thought USC tailgating was at that time. The atmosphere was subdued at best, and the campus nearly devoid of students on game day. It was appalling.

But since Pete Carroll’s unprecendented run of championship football, things have changed dramatically. Now the Coliseum area is a swarm of food, booze and frolic before SC games. Not at the obscene scale of Ohio Stadium pregame, but give it time. And a few Donatos franchises.

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Pam Anderson Pays Of Huge Poker Debt With Sex With Antonio Esfandiari

SHOCK! ANDERSON PAID OFF $250K POKER DEBT WITH SEX: Norm Clarke of the LAS VEGAS REVIEW JOURNAL reports that Pam Anderson said this week that she has a unique way of paying off poker debts: “I paid off a poker debt with sexual favors, and I fell in love.

Pam Anderson

Norm: “During an appearance Wednesday on ‘The Ellen DeGeneres Show,’ Anderson declined to identify her new mystery man, but there’s scuttlebutt in the poker world that she’s been seeing 29-year-old Antonio ‘The Magician’ Esfandiari.

Anderson later said on the show she lost $250,000 in a poker game and was offered an “Indecent Proposal”-like out to clear the debt.

Pam Anderson

If Esfandiari has designs on the snare drum-skinned strumpet, he might consider Clarke’s recently hourly accounting of the Hep-carrying concubine:

• “Prior to her VMAs red carpet walk with Klok, someone in her camp asked that they be introduced as ‘Pamela Anderson and her boyfriend Hans Klok.’

• “Hours later, she attended an after-party at Blush (Wynn) with Rick Solomon, Paris Hilton’s co-star in a very famous video.

• “Even later, she and ex-hubbie Tommy Lee were seen together at LAX and Noir Bar at the Luxor near dawn Monday.

Besides the bathroom door at the Waffle House in Dothan, AL, that’s the most daily wipe-down entries we’ve seen in some time.