Kimbo Slice Will Bring The Gun Show Right To You

Recall that it was only about 18 months ago that the Kimbo Slice mystique had yet to be shattered by total whodat Seth Petruzelli, and he was still just a really, really terrifying individual with a giant beard. Even his name was scary, since it conjured up images of knife murder, which you absolutely cannot rule out around that man.

Kimbo Gun

Well, once he got the ol’ KTFO from Petruzelli, Slice bounced around the fringes of fighting fame for a quick minute, and now he’s trying to work his way back through TUF, which, whatever, right? Turns out he took the training seriously - seriously enough to up the ante from actual arms to firearms.

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The Newest Excuse In MMA: “I’m On My Period”

Last year when EliteXC hit network television on CBS there was a lot of hope that the primetime shows would help make MMA a more mainstream sport. With fights featuring Gina Carano, they were also hoping that they could advance women’s MMA in the process. Well, MMA keeps growing in popularity but the primetime show took a hit when EliteXC went under. EliteXC’s failure also set back the women’s cards because it put the future of any fight between Carano & Cris Santos — who was very impressive in her EliteXC bout — in limbo.

Cris Cyborg Santos

Santos has moved on to Strikeforce, who have bought most of EliteXC’s assets, and now Strikeforce is hoping to sign Carano as well so that the two ladies can finally get it on. Of course, if Strikeforce does sign Carano, they may want to check with Santos before they schedule the event. They’re probably going to want to make sure Aunt Flo has left town before making Cris take on Gina.

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Speed Read: Phillies Not Fanatical About Hitting

Deciding to listen to Tim McCarver blather his way through World Series commentary on TV or turning the sound down and listening to the dulcet, confused tones of Joe Morgan on the radio is like choosing between swallowing broken glass or sliding down a razor blade hill - both choices hurt. But I went with the radio guys for Game 2, mainly because of Jon Miller. And as usual, Morgan got stuck on a mantra he kept repeating over and over throughout the game, this time about the Phillies’ not being able to hit with runners in scoring position.

Rays fan with Joe Maddon sign

Unlike many of his obsessions, he actually was right about this. But it doesn’t take a Hall of Famer to know that hitting 1-for-15 in a game (and 1-for-28 for the Series) is bad. And while they were able to find a way past the Rays in Game 1, they couldn’t on Thursday, as Tampa Bay held on for a, frankly, uninspiring 4-2 win to tie the Series at one game each.

Phillies bench during Game 2 of the World Series

Anyone who kept claiming that this was going to be the most entertaining Series possible can shut up now - of course Red Sox vs. Dodgers would have been more fun, and it couldn’t have been played at a more average level. This Series is less sizzling through two games as it is melting. At least we have things headed over to Philadelphia, where I’m sure the fans will be in fine spirits. Enjoy the trips, Rays!

West Virginia running back Noel Devine

Meanwhile, Auburn was busy just plain fizzling against West Virginia, as Noel Devine made “SEC speed” seem like a stoner going 20 miles per hour on his way to Taco Bell for some munchies. It was big run after big run, as Devine wound up with 207 yards rushing as the Mountaineers throttled the Tigers 34-17.

Think the fact that a supposedly “quality” SEC team just got waxed by an underachieving Big East squad will lead anyone to start questioning the conference’s credentials? Nah, didn’t think so either.

Here’s what else was happening while you were checking out The Flintstones’ kitchen:

Which Tampa Bay Ray is going to get the most heat from Phillies fans during Game 3?

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FL Commission Investigating Kimbo’s Glass Jaw

In a totally non-surprising move, the Florida agency that oversees MMA business has begun an investigation into whether Kimbo Slice threw last weekend’s fight with unheralded nutball Seth Petruzelli.

Kimbo Slice sucks
(This lame fight is brought to you by the letters K, T, F, and O.)

The agency’s decision comes a day after two curious comments in the media. First, Mike Wilbon said flat-out on PTI that Kimbo threw the fight, calling it “more of a phantom punch than [Muhammad] Ali had to knock out [Sonny] Liston in 1965.” It was a phantom kick, not a punch, but the message is still clear. Wilbon’s co-host for the day, Dan Le Batard removed all doubt when he asked Wilbon point-blank if he thought the fight was fixed, and Wilbon answered, “yes.”

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Brog: Live Brog Features Coli Commentary, Cutty

Saturday, I’ll be coming to you on SbB live from inside and outside the L.A. Coliseum, reporting on the USC-Ohio State game, with assistance from our Managing Editor Jason Kaifesh.

USC 27 OSU 10 USC Song Girl Upskirt

(The Autumn wind is a butt pirate)

We’ll take you in and around the Coli with a genuine cutty sark-stained boots-on-the-ground perspective, and also have in-game observos from our seats at the game (Thanks Barry!). And I promise: absolutely, positively no mentions of those wacky(!) ESPN Gameday signs.

I’ll be joined by DEADSPIN’s A.J. Daulerio at the entire affair as well. And be sure and check out Matt Sussman’s account of the game over at Dspin. And yes, with tailgate fare in mind (*seasoned* bacon-wrapped hot dogs all around!), I plan to require Daulerio bring a generous supply o’ Depends to the proceedings.

Tim Tebow Hooters Girl Gainesville

(Timbo’s consolation prize)

The only thing I’ll add to all that’s been said about the game is that after Saturday, Mark Sanchez is your leading candidate for the Heisman Trophy. Sorry Timbo. And Mizzou, you might ask for your $50,000 back.

Prediction: USC 27, Ohio State 10.

Here’s how Elite XC and CBS is promoting the upcoming Kimbo Slice-Ken Shamrock bout:

Elite XC Bodacious Boobs CBS Kimbo Slice Ken Shamrock

A commercial featuring Bodacious Boobs” and a bikini model showering - which of course is what first comes to mind when I think of CBS. At least after my last forced viewing of Big Bang Theory on an American Airlines flight bound for Topeka.

John Maffei of the NORTH COUNTY (CA) TIMES reports today from San Diego that former longtime SoCal talkshow host Lee “Hacksaw” Hamiltonis moving up to Sirius XM Radio starting Monday, when Sirius launches ‘Mad Dog Radio’ on both services.” Hamilton will man the evening shift at Sirius.

Moving up to evening sports talk show shift on Sirius? Table for one, Hacksaw?

No idea how I missed this, but here’s the cover image for the calendar the Redskins are selling on their official website featuring the team’s cheer squad.

Redskins Jerkoff Calendar With Dan Snyder

(This image has not been photoshopped yes it has)

And to think I thought these (implied) NFL nudie calendars weren’t all about jerkoffs. Read more…

Kimbo Slice To Fight Press Conference Confronter

Last week, after the Elite XC mixed-martial-arts show aired on CBS, the overhyped Kimbo Slice was called out by fellow heavyweight Bret “Grim” Rogers for what was, in Rogers’ words, “some garbage-ass [expletive].”

Kimbo Slice


Slice, to his credit, has answered the challenge, and Elite XC fans couldn’t be happier. Read more…

Gina Carano Can’t Weight For EliteXC CBS Debut

Mixed martial arts takes a big broadcasting step this weekend, as CBS will be showing the first of many EliteXC “Saturday Night Fights” specials. And one of the most coveted competitors among the male 18-35 demographic is American Gladiator Gina Carano.

Gina Carano

However, viewers could have been gypped out of a Gina appearance. MMA MANIA kicks up the news that Carano is coming into her bout with a little extra baggage. Read more…

Athletes Getting Rocky Mountain High w/Hookers

Who knew Bill Belichick would have such a gay ol’ time in Beantown?

• Things to do in Denver when you’re dead-set about getting some hookers & blow:

Dinger Colorado Rockies Mascot Cocaine

• Going Washington Post-al: Tony Kornheiser & Michael Wilbon are cheesed at DC SPORTS BOG’s Dan Steinberg.

• Keeping abreast of Jessica Canseco’s topless sunbathing habits.

Tony La Russa knew about Scott Spiezio’s speeding & spewing since early January, yet did nothing about it.

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UFC One-Ups Elite XC-CBS With Budweiser Deal

Darren Rovell of CNBC has news that rocked the MMA world today. Less than 24 hours after MMA organization Elite XC closed a deal to air fights on CBS, UFC announced a sponsorship agreement with sports advertising behemoth Anheuser-Busch.

Beer And Fighting Go Together

Rovell: “UFC announced a deal with Anheuser Busch as Bud Light will become the new exclusive sponsor for the UFC. The brand will be featured on the Octagon center mat and on the vertical bumpers beginning with UFC 84 in Las Vegas on May 24.

For those of you not in the sports business know, this is a much bigger deal than the Elite XC-CBS partnership. Read more…

MMA Managing To Go Mainstream With CBS Deal

MMA JUNKIE reports that Kimbo Slice will be coming soon to a CBS channel near you, as the network will start showing Elite Xtreme Combat contests.

(”Don’t touch that dial! Or I’ll kick your ass!“)

The CBS-EliteXC deal is expected to be officially announced on Thursday, with four fights penciled into select Saturday night timeslots. It will be the first time mixed martial arts will be broadcast on major network TV.

So, why would CBS agree to show a smaller MMA outfit like EliteXC instead of the more well-known UFC? Read more…