What do you do if you’re not Clint Eastwood, and those durn fool kids won’t listen when you tell them to get off your lawn? In what may replace the McDonald’s hot coffee retard as the example of how ridiculously litigious our society is, an 89-year-old woman is suing her neighbors for all the balls and Frisbees that keep landing on her property. Did I mention she was arrested for refusing to return the balls? God. I hate this country.
In the suburbs of Cincinnati, Edna Jester was sick and tired of the kids always running onto her lawn to retrieve their balls. So in October she decided to keep a football. Naturally, the city prosecutor charged her with theft. That was a mortal wound on common sense, but this is the coup de grâce. Jester filed suit against her neighbors, the Tanises, for causing her emotional distress. The ludicrous details of the suit, after the jump.