NFL Teams Use Economy As Excuse To Fire Staff

Buried deep in an excellent column by PITTSBURGH POST-GAZETTE writer Ed Bouchette, a piece we found via PROFOOTBALLTALK, is one of the best articulated attacks on the NFL in the economic recession, and it’s completely cogent. According to Bouchette, NFL teams are laying off workers to hedge their profits, not because they need to in order to avoid losing money.

albert haynesworth redskins

(Is this team losing money? Not a chance.)

He’s absolutely right. If teams like the Redskins were really feeling the crunch of the recession, they wouldn’t be spending $100 million on Albert Haynesworth. Instead, the NFL as a whole is trying to paint a dire economic picture as it heads into a standoff with the NFL Players Association because of the lack of a collective bargaining agreement.

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NBA’s Derrick Coleman Is Going Out Of Business

Everyone has it bad during the current economic downturn, but some may have it even worse than others. That includes professional athletes who made really made forays into the world of free enterprise. If you had Derrick Coleman on the list of former ballers turned failed entrepreneurs that popped into your head, pat yourself on the back; ol’ DC is going out of business, literally.

derrick coleman

According to FANHOUSE’s expert sleuthing, the former would-be star turned uber-bust is having to liquidate everything he owns. Yes, everything, at a whopping 75 percent off. It’s like one of those “electronic liquidation events” you see advertised at “Enter Your City’s Convention Center Here” every weekend, except everything was once owned by one of the biggest NBA Draft flops in recorded history. Just think, you too can own the porcelain toilet from Derrick Coleman’s spare bedroom! And it’s 75 percent off! What a steal!

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Buick Takes Courtesy Cars Away From PGA Tour

Oh, hilarious economy! When will you ever stop plummeting and making us cut back on everything that makes life worth living? First, Colorado-based Focus On The Family has had to trim their staff drastically - rumor has it that they hilariously “overspent” on their pro-Proposition 8 stance - but this latest news to hit the wires is the last straw! Because of budgetary concerns, Buick will no longer be providing courtesy cars to PGA tournaments.

Great Depression

(”Guess it’s back to the old fashioned way.”)

Buick, who has generally had their cars waiting at the airport when PGA participants came into town, is reportedly ending this luxury because “the business model has changed.” Or in layman’s terms, “the car industry’s in the toilet”. Players will now have to (gasp!) rent their own automobiles. Just like commoners!

This is what we call “rich people problems”. But calm down, prima donna golfers. The PGA is on the case!

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