Michigan’s A.D. Don’t Need No Stinking Badges

It’s been a great past few years for Bill Martin. No wait, no it hasn’t. He essentially blew any chance at landing LSU’s Les Miles a couple years ago when he too busy sailing in the Caribbean to take Miles’ agent’s calls; he hired Rich Rodriguez instead, which, wow; and now’s he’s just going to go ahead and retire (presumably so he can just sail in some peace and god-damned quiet).

Michigan AD Bill Martin
(You want my ID? These microphones and reporters are my ID. Get outta here.)

His retirement’s not effective for another 10 months or so, though (September 4, 2010, to be precise), so Martin’s still got a lot of work to do. Athletic directin’, administratin’, and the timeless pastime of old rich people: gettin’ pushy with the help. Cue the incident reports!

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Big Ten Scorekeepers Take Pity On EMU Eagles

Look, it’s pretty obvious that the Northwestern Wildcats will probably end up doing bad, bad things to the woeful Eastern Michigan Eagles today. It’s a matchup borne out of money and a desire for an easy win. You know it, I know it, both teams probably know it. No, Northwestern isn’t exactly national championship material, but they’re a respectable Big Ten team (oxymoron?) and Eastern Michigan is, well, Eastern Michigan.

Northwestern-Eastern Michigan Score Big Ten Network

But that doesn’t mean EMU deserves to be spotted 3 points at the beginning of the game, does it? Apparently, the Big Ten Network has taken pity on the Eagles and rewarded them with a phantom field goal to start the game. How kind of them. Is that even legal? Why the hell am I watching the Big Ten Network, anyway?  These are the questions we’re pondering so far as Week Two of college football kicks off. What’s on your mind?

In Which We Correctly Use The Term ‘Kafkaesque’

Today’s UF-UK tilt wasn’t really about winners and losers, as Florida re-established their credentials by crushing No. 4 LSU in their last game. It was about getting Tim Tebow back in the Heisman discussion. I’d say he made his point.

Tim Tebow

Tebow’s numbers weren’t great — 180 yards for 2 TDs in the air, 48 for 2 on the ground –but he took full control of the game, leading Florida to a 63-5 blowout of Kentucky. Jeffrey Demps, who was featured in this great NEW YORK TIMES piece, led all players in both rushing and receiving. The Gators face their last real test of the regular season next week at Georgia. Seriously, for an SEC squad, it’s a pretty soft schedule. We’re headed toward about 15 one-loss teams this year.

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