When I’m not beefing up my financial portfolio with Lenny Dykstra, you can usually find me seeking foreclosure advice from that paragon of business acumen, Dwyane Wade, and his business partner Alonzo Mourning. The former Miami Heat teammates have combined their forces to add heft to a nonprofit government effort to promote awareness of free foreclosure assistance. Hmm, is this wise?
It’s a good cause to be sure; the financial meltdown has caused a real crisis in the housing industry, especially in South Florida, where many people have lost their homes due to financial scams or confusion over the way housing laws work. Nonprofits such as the HOPE NOW Alliance have organized a bus tour to help raise awareness of government services that would help homeowners renegotiate the terms of their loans. And Wade and Mourning have lent their celebrity to the cause. Read more…
If there’s one thing we especially appreciate from athletes, it’s a sense of humor. Sure, that probably goes for everybody, not just athletes, but the last thing someone with an annual salary with more zeroes than a comic book convention (Get it? Because they’re nerds! BAAA-ZING!) needs is an over-inflated sense of entitlement.
(No, it’s not real. You’ll see.)
So we’re happy to note that Dwyane Wade was on the Jimmy Kimmel Show recently, which is so much better than being in the Finals. Kimmel, having a devious sense of humor, set up a fake autograph session with Wade and Kimmel’s cousin Sal as a handler. The premise is simple: Wade’s only signing autographs for people who are handicapped or injured. One fan shows up without anything, y’know, wrong with him. Aaaaand roll clip: Read more…
Reality used to be a friend of Ron Artest’s. However, it was long before the public met the kid from St. John’s a decade ago. For example, no one would be surprised to find out the new Gatorade/Tiger Woods cartoons seem like mini-documentaries to the Tru Warier because he has secretly considered himself the NBA’s Dr. Doolittle for years.
Therefore, we shouldn’t be shocked to find out reality’s been stiffing his calls again. After a questionable ejection in last night’s 111-98 Rockets loss to the Lakers to tie the series at one game apiece, Artest entertained the media with alternating moments of clarity speaking about the ejection and tales about that one time he was in Space Jam II as directed by Quentin Tarantino.
Apparently, this is the first time in Artest’s storied violent past that he remembered a pick-up game where tempers flared and one player snapped the leg off a nearby table and threw it with enough force to pierce the heart of another. By the way, Violet Palmer would only call a flagrant one on that.
One expert on keeping it real is Skip to My Lou himself, Rafer Alston. Eddie House’s yipping dog act (which is only the third-most irritating version on this Celtics squad) wormed its way under the skin of the boy from Queens, causing this rather understandable reaction:
The head slap will probably take the Orlando Magic’s only nominal point guard out of an upcoming game, a rather unappealing proposition after the 112-94 posterior-kicking administed by the Celtics last night. Ron Artest would like to know what reality would eject him for chattering with Kobe Bryant about his flailing elbows while a head smack only earns double techs.
(”No, man… I was just asking if you saw ‘House’ last night. Why so sensitive?”)
And maybe one of those aliases once killed a man with a table leg from 20 feet. Hey, it’s no stranger than knowing Ron Artest took the Houston Rockets to a plane of existence Tracy McGrady never could: the second round.
2006 Olympic figure skating silver medalist Sasha Cohen will unretire for the 2010 Vancouver Games, pretty much saving the Games for NBC and Vancouver officials.
Shaquille O’Neal has returned to his offseason MMA training, which he embraces for rewarding all the physicality of the NBA without any of the free throws.
There was a time not terribly long ago that Miami Heat guard Dwyane Wade was considered one of the NBA’s most sought-after endorsers. He was a young superstar with a championship ring and a fairy-tale marriage to high school sweetheart Siohvaughn. He was seen as humble, pious, and telegenic; ESPN couldn’t get enough of the guy.
What a difference a couple of years makes. While Dwyane Wade the basketball player is stronger than ever, D-Wade’s life off the court has changed dramatically. His marriage has fallen apart in full view of the public, he’s been kicked to the curb by endorsement partners, and his investment deals have gone bust. Now comes word that Wade is facing a lawsuit regarding one of those failed deals, a (very) short-lived restaurant chain called “D-Wade’s Sports Grills”.
The Atlanta Hawks’ animal mascot (as opposed to its mall & car dealership mascot) couldn’t get settled for Wednesday night’s Game 2 against the Miami Heat. Before each home game, Spirit the Hawk usually swoops across the arena and land with its handler.
For reasons unclear, they started the game while Spirit stayed loose. However, the game came to a screeching halt a few minutes in when Spirit landed on the backboard camera and Josh Smith excused himself due to winged predators in the field of play. Eventually, Spirit returned to his handler and play continued.
The rest of the Hawks followed suit in avoiding airborne objects for the remainder of the game, allowing Dwyane Wade to divebomb them with 33 points (including six three-pointers) in a 108-93 win to pull even with the Hawks at a game apiece in the seven-game series.
After the game, Hawks management offered Spirit the scorekeeper job; at least he knows where to look for the ball.
In other NBA games last night, Philadelphia lost to Orlando 96-87, New Orleans lost to Denver 108-93, and the Detroit Pistons lost their ability to care.
Instead of getting approximately six weeks to consult with NBA teams, speak to trusted advisors, and draw out the decision into key segments of the news cycle, players would get around a week’s time, usually during finals. The NCAA wants to protect their franchisees by encouraging the players to stick around longer to increase their marketing value.
Therefore, no one should show surprise when a young man chooses to skip the NCAA for Europe as Brandon Jennings did. Perhaps we should also not feign indignance when the best high school junior in the country, Jeremy Tyler, packs his extra-long jammies (for his 6′11″ frame) and heads to Europe before his senior year of high school.
Long-time watchers of tall young men will recognize the puppeteer behind this latest stress test on the basketball pipeline. Sonny Vaccaro has his hand in this year’s Atlantic leap, just as he did for Jennings last year. Tyler turns 18 in June and will be eligible for the 2011 NBA draft.
We have a suggestion for Tyler to consider when he selects an NBA agent:
Miami Heat superstar Dwyane Wade has spent quite a bit of time in the headlines recently, but unfortunately for D-Wade, only lately have those headlines been about him being a possible MVP candidate in the NBA. That tends to happen when you make crazy one-handed running threes at the buzzer to rip out my heart and beat the Bulls in overtime. The MVP headlines also help push the ones about giving your ex-wife an STD or having wild sex parties to the back burner, which is a good thing in the image conscious NBA.
Unfortunately, not everybody forgets these possible transgressions. Wade was supposed to be an endorser for a new series of schools in the Miami area designed specifically for high school dropouts, and even had his name on the buildings of the D. Wade’s Schools. Now Mavericks in Education, who are running the schools, say that Wade hasn’t lived up to his end of the bargain and they’re dropping him from the project.
The prevailing wisdom in the NBA a couple months ago was that the MVP trophy was either going to Lebron James or Kobe Bryant. Dwyane Wade must not have gotten that memo, because over the last few months, he has gone utterly insane. Wade now leads the NBA in scoring and has the Heat firmly in the playoff picture in the Eastern Conference. Further, he’s been doing so while putting up some memorable performances, the most recent of which was his performance against Chicago, ripping out the Bulls’ heart and making it burst into flames.
(This “Spanish” language jersey stuff is “El Retarded.”)
Well, most recent until today, anyway, as Wade and the Heat took on a Jazz team that led its division and was one loss removed from an 11-game win streak. The Jazz led by 7 with under a minute to play in regulation, and the fact that we need the “in regulation” tells you how well that lead held up. Then the Jazz scored the first 8 points in the first overtime–that, too, failed. And when the dust settled, Miami had a 140-127, triple-overtime win. Wade was the hero of the day, with 50 points, 10 boards, and… oh, just 9 assists? Oh, too bad, no triple-double for Wade. And yes, Wade wanted it.
Pittsburgh is a strange place. It’s in Pennsylvania, but it feels like the rust belt of Ohio. It’s considered part of the Northeast, but it feels more like Gary, Indiana, during it’s (albeit brief) boom period than it does like Philadelphia, which is right on the other side of the state.
(The man on the left could be Pittsburgh’s next mayor.)
Perhaps most importantly, the entire life of the city revolves around the fortunes of a single sports team: The Steelers. If the black-and-gold wins, then everyone’s happy. If the Steelers lose, well, then you might want to grab the next flight to Cincinnati. After all, no one gives a crap about football there.
Why are we bringing up the rather obvious massive popularity of Steelers football? Because the son of one of the franchise’s most famous players is about to run for mayor. Franco “Dok” Harrisofficially announced his candidacy on Monday. That’s not the Franco Harris you remember from Steelers Super Bowls, it’s the Franco Harris who the Super Bowl Franco Harris gave birth to.
According to a press release posted on the Pittsburgh sports blog MONDESI’S HOUSE, Harris the younger lists accomplishments like his graduation from the University of Pittsburgh School of Law and Carnegie Mellon’s Tepper School of Business, not a boatload of touchdowns. But that may not matter to Pittsburgh voters, half of whom probably won’t be able to tell the difference between the two Harrises.
All of this begs the question of just how far one man can get on a famous name, particularly if it isn’t his. Yes, Dok Harris has some professional accomplishments in the legal and business community, but the only reason he’s even notable is because he’s Franco Harris’s son. If that lands him the Pittsburgh mayoral office, that might be an all-time record for long-distance coattail riding.
Here’s Dok Harris’s best political speak, in an excerpt from his press release:
As your mayor, the Pittsburgh of tomorrow will be an economic powerhouse; a green city that is a friend to businesses both small and large. Our city will work for our workers by ensuring fair wages and fair treatment. The Pittsburgh of tomorrow will be the intersection of labor and technology, where both startups and large corporations will benefit from the hard working blue collar spirit of our community and the intellectual trust of our universities. As your mayor I commit to building Pittsburgh into that city upon a hill - or in this case, three rivers – as an example of the role that good government has in our common successful future. I ask you to join me on this journey. Together, we will Forge Ahead.
We’ll see how Harris does, but he definitely bears watching, if only for historical significance, both for his father and the future of celebrity in America.
We’re still getting into the full swing of March Madness, but one of Monday night’s games emphasized the second word in the phrase, thanks to some bizarre referring that gave one team a 1-0 lead before the opening tip off.
(Josh Heytvelt dunked, too, just not in warm-ups.)
The official pregame indiscretion was committed by St. Mary’s, which fell to Gonzaga in Monday night’s West Coast Conference championship. According to this report in the SAN FRANCISCO CHRONICLE, the Gaels were handed a technical foul because they dunked in warm-up drills. You can catch video of the incident below, too.
The last time we checked, every team dunked in warm up drills. The only difference is that other teams tend to deliver psuedo-lay up dunks, hybrid basket drop-ins that vary in force and how clearly they’re acknowledged. On Monday, St. Mary’s was dunking and getting noticed, and that was too much for game officials to accept.
A few hours later, St. Mary’s was left to sit and wait to learn whether it will be able to dunk again this year. In only the second game since the return of the team’s star point guard, Australian Patty Mills, the Gaels were thoroughly undone by a dominant Gonzaga team. The result was a title game walloping that could have hurt the at-large chances of St. Mary’s, not helped them as they’d hoped.
Of course, St. Mary’s didn’t help itself, either, so in a sense it has no one else to blame.
There’s a scary tendency to overlook the pros during March because all eyes are on the impending NCAA Tournament. That’s almost surely going to be the case this month, too, but Dwyane Wade made sure that his resurgence wouldn’t be overlooked, if only for a single day.
In what is easily the NBA shot of the month (yes, we realize we’re less than a third of the way through March), Wade sank the Bulls with a desperation three-pointer in double overtime. It was the latest proof both that Wade loves playing in Miami, and that he may single-handedly put the Heat back in serious contention in the Eastern Conference. No, they’re not competitive with the likes of Boston and Cleveland yet, but anyone who saw Wade dismantle Chicago in the clutch would have to think very seriously about picking the Heat over the likes of Orlando and Atlanta.
After all, Wade didn’t just hit a three to win the game in double-overtime, he also nailed one at the end of the first half and at the end of regulation. That’s incredible. He may not be the next Michael Jordan, but he’s not a bad for a third of a new triumvirate that also includes LeBron James and Kobe Bryant, is he?
That friends, is some clutch shooting. In fact, what’s “clutch” in Spanish? Those “El Heat” jerseys need an appropriate celebratory radio call if you ask us.
You know how sometimes a network will plan coverage based on expected results, then they get hung out to try when really unexpected results follow? Meet Amy Nelson’s ESPN.com column on Canada’s Phillippe Aumont, which launched last night, just as Italy was bouncing the mounties from the WBC.
Speaking of baseball, fringe baseball industries are sure to be affected even more directly by the economic recession than the game itself. How are baseball cards going to react? Check out their future yourself, courtesy 3D glasses and this post on BIG LEAGUE STEW.
We know he’s pretty broke right now, but TASTY BOOZE makes a compelling case for Pacman Jones’s next custom car if he ever makes more cash. Why not an Ecto-1?
The upstart UFL is not about to go quietly into the night before it even gets off the ground. According to this report from PROFOOTBALLTALK, it’s now trying to land Michael Vick to be a face of the franchise in one of its premier cities.
So they handed out a bunch of awards last night, and frankly, we don’t care. Until the “Academy” lifts their de facto ban on nominating sports movies with animals as the lead, we’re boycotting the Oscars and we think you ought to as well.
(Sweeping the Oscars in our hearts.)
And as if you needed further proof, The Wrestler, which was probably the best sports movie since Air Bud 2: Golden ReceiverRudy, was snubbed entirely by the Academy last night, as traditional Oscar-bait roles like “impoverished underexposed foreign minority” and “socially stigmatized overachiever” took center stage for the 90 millionth year in a row. But for Mickey Rourke and us, we’ll always have his exuberant speech from the Spirit Awards, which features insanely NSFW speech.
Oh yeah, he definitely did roids.
And there was one other nice sports moment at the Academy Awards: Will Smith, tripping over some pedestrian-at-best lines from the teleprompter, goes boom:
(”Nope, I see nothing wrong with 30 shots and 5 assists.”)
But back in the real world, we had another big individual performance: Dwyane Wade dropping 50 on the Magic. One problem–none of the rest of the Heat decided to show up, and Orlando ended up blowing Miami out, 122-99. Dwight Howard was the man for the Magic once again with 32 and 17… and this 75-foot shot, which didn’t count but makes me feel like it somehow should have. If you needed more evidence that going Berzerker like this was actually a bad idea on Wade’s part, the Heat are now 0-4 when Wade scores at least 44 points. The Eastern Conference is dutifully taking notes on giving D-Wade the long jumper all night long.
(Welcome back, man! But about those cornrows…)
And speaking of notes for the Eastern Conference, Delonte West is back for the Cleveland Cavaliers, and that is bad, bad news for everyone else. The Cavs dispatched the Pistons, 99-78, in a game that wasn’t really that close at all; the Cavs led 67-34 at the break (!!!) and coasted to a jarringly easy win. West led all scorers with 25 points, including a 5-5 performance behind the arc.
Remember the murder of Eddy Curry’s ex-girlfriend and their daughter? The man her family (and Eddy’s son) had been swearing was the killer has finally been arrested.
One of the guys fighting for the starting QB spot at Nebraska just decided to transfer amid ominous “really can’t go there” language. Yeah, the NFL’s going to love that dedication; great idea, man.
The Florida president thinks Urban Meyer’s the kind of guy who’ll just “burn out and quit” from Florida instead of taking another coaching job. To be fair, coaching a football team and fighting the Joker at the same time is both physically and emotionally taxing.
Name one sports announcer who can say “this bitch didn’t mean a thing to me”(skip to 6:33 in the video) and not only make it remotely SFW, but totally get away with it. If you said anybody but Don Cherry, set yourself on fire.
New disease you really wish you didn’t know existed, but thanks to sports, you now know about and can never ever forget: Eye cancer! DOUBLE FATAL ILLNESS BONUS: Same guy was the first major leaguer to wear an insulin pump on his belt. Dude, just admit it: God hates you.
Garret Anderson signs a 1-year deal with the Braves after spending a long career with Anaheim. This is like when Willie Mays finished his career with the Mets, except if Willie Mays had like 1 good year instead of 15.
