• A Michigan player punched a Notre Dame opponent during last weekend’s game? Rich Rodriguez has no idea what you’re talking about.

• Duke football players bedevil fans with their own shirtless poster.

• How did Lane Kiffin get to be the coaching genius that he is? By washing Reggie White’s car while his dad coached.

• Bills KR Leodis McKelvin decides not to press charges against the two teens who vandalized his yard after the Pats loss.

• Panthers WR Steve Smith loves teammate Jake Delhomme as a person, but hates him as a QB.

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Remember when the Tennessee Volunteers football squad did a shirtless photo shoot around an orange Lamborghini? And we all had a pleasant chuckle at the silliness & slightly homoerotic quality of it all? Well, the Duke Blue Devils are not to be outdone in such shirtless-posing matters:

Ladies & gentlemen - presenting your 2009 Iron Dukes motivational poster!

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Ever wonder how, exactly, someone who makes tens of millions of dollars over the course of a medium-to-long pro sports career can find himself in financial ruin? Welcome to Exhibit 72,962, The Bad Investment. The stars of this episode? Former Duke basketball players Christian Laettner and Brian Davis. Oh, and for some reason, Shawne Merriman.

(With all due respect, Mr. Merriman, a Maryland alumnus really ought to know better than to trust a Dookie.)

Davis and Laettner, owners of Blue Devil Ventures, were up-and-comers in the real estate market, having successfully completed an urban redevelopment project in Durham at the beginning of the decade. Buoyed by their initial success and ability to turn a profit in the early-oughts real estate market (this is where your internal disaster alarm should be going off), the two planned a massive “second phase” in Durham while simultaneously investing in similar restoration projects across America, even trying to take on the biggest blight available: the Memphis Grizzlies.

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Among other things, Duke University basketball coach Mike Krzyzewski is notorious for his ludicrously sanctimonious American Express commercial in which he declares himself a  “leader who happens to coach basketball.” Secondary concern or not, there’s no denying his ability to do the latter. But what about that leadership thing if, say, he wanted to do it for a living?

Answering a question no one asked (except SbB just now), a political polling firm has asked North Carolinians their general opinions of both Coach K and UNC coach Roy Williams. The question was similar to questions asked regarding opinions about potential political candidates. The results were a little surprising…in other words, how would you feel about Senators Williams and Krzyzewski?

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• Kevin Love is the first one to tell, er, Tweet the world that Kevin McHale would be leaving the Timberwolves.

• Now that’s what you call a road test fiesta! Thanks, Top Gear!

• Could Coach K depart Duke to land as head honcho for the Lakers?

• Eddie Van Halen is very hot at Nike for ripping off his guitar to design their new shoes.

• The Stanley Cup takes a dip in Mario Lemieux’s pool.

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Now that the Lakers have won the NBA championship and the basketball season is over, it’s time for everybody to start wondering what’s going to happen next with the latest world champs. Are they good enough to repeat? Will they be able to keep Lamar Odom and Trevor Ariza? Will Adam Morrison be allowed to touch the basketball next season?

The biggest question surrounding the Lakers, however, is the future of their head coach Phil Jackson. The Zenmaster just won the 10th NBA title of his 19-year career, and if there was ever a moment for the 63-year old coach to ride his motorcycle off into the sunset, this would probably be it (of course, according to some, Phil hasn’t been coaching the Lakers for a while now). Well, Jackson hasn’t given any indication of what his plans are, but some are already speculating that he is going to retire and that Mike Krzyzewski is waiting in the wings.

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Andrew Giuliani’s absurd lawsuit against Duke University for kicking him off the golf team was just the latest frivolous litigation that ties up our courts and wastes taxpayer dollars. That’s what I thought, at least, until a district court judge told Li’l Giuliani to go play in the sand trap, with the greatest legal screed of our times.

(You’ll get nothing, and like it.)

I’d like to nominate Wallace W. Dixon for the Supreme Court, because his written opinion savages Giuliani’s case by way of some awesome golf puns and even quotes from Caddyshack. As Ty Webb would say, “Don’t sell yourself short, Judge, you’re a tremendous slouch.”

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• Sick of ESPN’s baseball coverage only showcasing the Yankees, Red Sox & Mets? Padres pitcher Heath Bell feels the same sourness.

• Fights, stabbings, gunplay - just another Opening Day at Dodger Stadium.

• John Calipari greets the Memphis faithful one more time - but not without some bodyguards.

• Former Duke basketball star Greg Paulus gets a pro tryout - with the Green Bay Packers?

• Dallas would be happy to take the College Football Hall of Fame off South Bend’s hands.

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Remember when the Texans drafted Drew Henson as a safety plan, then held his rights hostage when he decided he was ready to give up being the Yankees’ third baseman and wanted to come back to football? Well, there’s a PRO FOOTBALL TALK rumor that the Packers have worked out Duke point guard Greg Paulus at quarterback, despite the fact that Paulus hasn’t thrown a competitive pass since high school. If that sounds surprising, well, this may be even more shocking: The Packers may be dead serious about drafting him, too.

(Yes, this really could be Aaron Rodgers’ new backup in Green Bay.)

While Paulus was never going to set the world ablaze as Duke’s point guard, he still insisted on playing for Coach K because Greg’s just a hoopster at heart. That’s never taken away from his overwhelming talent behind center, where he was the starting quarterback in the U.S. Army All-American game and was also a Parade Magazine All-American. How good was Paulus in high school? Good enough that, if he decided to take a scholarship offer to play quarterback and point guard at Notre Dame, Miami or Syracuse, he easily would have been not just the top quarterback recruit on Rivals.com’s list of national prospects, he would have been the top ranked recruit overall.

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• Another sad day for MLB fans. Legendary Phillies announcer Harry Kalas dies after collapsing in the broadcast booth before a game vs. the Nats.

And former Tigers pitcher Mark “The Bird” Fidrych dies while working underneath his pickup truck at his Massachusetts home.

• Brian Bosworth: From Hollywood Harley DUI laughingstock, to home state hero after saving man’s life by performing CPR.

• Another dead goat is found hanging outside Wrigley Field. If it didn’t work in 2007, why would it work now?

• Smokin’ Joe Frazier says God gave Muhammad Ali Parkinson’s disease.

• Masters winner Angel Cabrera owes his success to chewing gum.

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