Vikings Fans Are NFL Champs Of Binge Drinking

Winter is creeping up on the Upper Midwest, with temperatures in the 20s and snow on the way. The nights are long, the cold biting. That means there’s only two things for residents of the Twin Cities to do: watch football, and drink. As Vikings fans proved yesterday, they’re masters at multitasking.

Drunk Vikings

You’d expect some debauchery as the surprisingly-frisky Vikings hosted the struggling Packers in a crucial divisional matchup. But nothing can prepare you for the ST. PAUL PIONEER PRESS’ roundup, accurately headlined “Drunk at the Dome,” which features more vomit than Spring Break at Cabo.

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Drunk Bengal Fans Steal Team’s Tackling Dummy

Two Cincinnati Bengals fans were arrested on Sunday for stealing one of the team’s few possessions that hasn’t been repeatedly punished this season: a tackling dummy. Hey, at least it wasn’t a player getting arrested this time around.

tackling dummy and dumb Bengals fans

Ryan Braun (not the Brew Crew slugger) and Ryan Garvey had, surprisingly, put down a few beers when they decided to take a halftime jaunt over the the team’s practice field, where Garvey had to lift Braun over a fence so he could get the dummy and throw it back over the fence to his friend. Yet, both contend they weren’t trying to steal the thing.

Further idiocy after the jump.

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Jets To Crack Down On Game Day Drunks, Pervs

This should come as a relief to the Jets’ newest employee, Jenn Sterger: The team is taking steps to prevent those hardcore drunks masquerading as fans from harassing women before, during, and after home games. The NEW YORK TIMES documented the atrocities last year, and with the league’s new code of conduct policy now in effect, the organization hopes to mitigate the problem altogether.

Gate D at Giants Stadium

Gate D is the Abu Ghraib of Giants Stadium, and it’ll be ground zero for enforcement of the club’s new rules.

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NFL Putting Beer-Bonging Jerkwad Fans On Notice

Now that NFL commissioner Roger Goodell has solved the crime problem among players and coaches, he’s turning his attention to the fans. Which means that the “No Fun League” tag will extend beyond the playing field all the way to the parking lot.

James Harrison bodyslams drunk fan

According to USA TODAY, In addition to cracking down on debaucherous tailgaters, the NFL will also be less tolerant of general jerky fan behavior:

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Streaker Ordered Off Booze, Horse Race Tracks

An Australian streaker, who interrupted a horse race by risking his life while wearing a purple wig, has avoided jail time but was told not to mix booze and the track anytime soon, the BATEMANS BAY POST reports.

Australian horse race streaker

Bradley Steven O’Mara faced 3 months in jail but instead must not drink at a track for one year - the ultimate punishment.

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