Bruce Smith Tries ‘Old Injury’ Defense in DUI Case

Back in May, we reported that Bruce Smith had earned his third DUI arrest in 12 years. We use the term “earn” loosely; he wasn’t dragging mailboxes and chain-link fences behind his car or enjoying a boozeaccino for the road or anything. But 73 in a 55? That, sir, was a large mistake.

bruce smith mug shot
(Even retired and in police custody, I feel like he’s going to drop me for a loss if I pick up a football.)

You’ll also recall that Smith refused a Breathalyzer test on the scene, which isn’t much of a good idea. Ah, but it was part of a larger plan, you see. With that, Smith had an “out”: his unsteadiness on one foot was just a matter of poor knee health from his long NFL career! And the bleary eyes? That’s just the concussions talking. Surely a reasonable judge would agree, yes?

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Bruce Smith Still Likes His Booze, Gets 3rd DUI

Note to athletes in Virginia: Do not drink and drive for six consecutive years. If you do, you’ll get caught at least once. Just take Bruce Smith: After getting nailed in both 1997 and 2003, Smith was caught behind his wheel drunk as a skunk again on Thursday in Virginia Beach.

bruce smith mug shot

(We got the strong Smith mug shot from the boys over at TBL)

Not only was Smith driving under the influence, he was speeding like a bandit, too. There’s no way that he’ll get out of the speeding ticket, and his refusal to take a breathalyzer or a DUI test means that he’s tacitly admitting guilt to DUI, unless his attorney has a really good card up his sleeve.

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Drunk Virginia Tech WR Blames Beamer For Arrest

When Virginia Tech wide receiver Ike Whitaker got busted for public intoxication last Friday after blowing a .33 on the ol’ Blood Alcohol Meter, he did what any reasonable young collegiate athlete would do: He blamed his coach.

Frank Beamer

(Beamer, picking out the next life he wants to ruin)

Apparently, Whitaker blames his drunken escapade on the fact that he was self-medicating after Frank Beamer suspended him for missing a morning practice. Beamer suggested that Whitaker transfer to another school if he wanted to play during his final year of eligibility, but Whitaker should make no mistake about, he wouldn’t be played for the Hokies again that year.

In response, Whitaker turned back to the bottle.

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Hideki Irabu Chugs 20 Beers, Roughs Up Barkeep

Apparently, there are worse things than being part of the 2008 Yankees. Like, say, being a former Yankee, affectionately referred to by then-owner George Steinbrenner as a “fat, p***y toad”, who gets arrested for assaulting a bartender.

Hideki Irabu, Fat Toad

Hideki Irabu, who pitched in New York for six seasons, was arrested yesterday in Osaka, Japan, for fighting like a girl at a local watering hole.

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College Hockey Player Busted Thanks To His Mom

Going on a drunken run through someone’s home seems to be a staple, but if you’re going to do it, it’s probably best not to call anyone using the victim’s cell phone. Thanks to Mallory Rubin at SI CAMPUS CLICKS, we are directed to BLUE CHIP SUSPECT, which has the news of a Dartmouth College hockey player’s efforts in avoiding the police.

Adam Estoclet

Adam Estoclet would have had a better chance of escaping an underage drinking/drunk in public arrest if he hadn’t decided it was a great idea to break into a home and use the phone, never mind whom he wound up calling.

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‘Melo Pleads To DUI Charge; Docked Two Games

The initial rumor being kicked around prior to this week was that Carmelo Anthony would be meeting with Nuggets brass regarding trade rumors, which turned out not to be the case: yesterday’s meeting actually resulted in a 2-game suspension for his recent DUI arrest, and this morning, he pleaded to a lesser charge in Denver County Court (both per the DENVER POST).

Carmelo Anthony warm-ups

Anthony will serve a year’s probation and 24 hours of community service to go along with his team’s imposed suspension. The 2 games are mostly symbolic, more than anything else, but appropriate, given that it’s his first offense. Anthony will also be part of a Colorado State Patrol campaign on driving responsibly.

The first-round draft pick and Nuggets’ franchise player is questioning some of the pressure being put on him with the arrest and the Nuggets being swept out of the playoffs by Kobe Bryant and the Lakers.

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Sox’s Buchholz Caught Boozing It Up With Berman

Clay Buchholz leads a charmed life. When the Red Sox pitcher’s not palling around (and then some) with Penthouse Pets, he’s throwing back some brews with Chris Berman.

Chris Berman Clay Buchholz

The BOSTON HERALD’s TRACKED DOWN spotted Buchholz, Boomer and Patriots linebacker Eric Alexanderhoisting a few at The Greatest Bar“.

Erica Ellyson

(Clay ditched *this* for beers with Berman?)

Seems like a social step down for Buchholz - going from entertainment with Erica Ellyson to boozing with Berman. (No offense meant to Mr. Alexander.) Wonder if Chris treated the wait staff the same way he treats “Monday Night Football” studio crews.

Arizona Wildcats DE Bears Down With Bad Touch

THEDIRTY.COM, recently making headlines with its photos of Matt Leinart in flagrante blotto, provides the video of recently suspended Univ. of Arizona defensive end Josh Lewis.

Josh Lewis Arizona Wildcats

The clip shows the Wildcats DE getting a little graphically grabby with a drunk girl, despite her and her’s friend’s (one assumes) protestations.

(Video after the jump, possibly NSFW.)

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Cards Just Miss Out On Tow Truck Reality Series

TV WEEK reports today that Speed TV is planning “to air 10 one-hour episodes of ‘Wrecked … focuses on a sometimes risky life at a family-owned tow truck company in Chicago.

Tony LaRussa

 

Robert Ecker, VP of programming for Speed: “We have discovered over the course of time that while there are race fans, there are also people that have a love affair with the automobiles but are not necessarily interested in racing.”

Sadly though, it seems the Chicago-based show missed out on a major opportunity by starting the show now. Read more…

Marinovich QB Somehow Not Named Todd Cuffed

Kudos to Lauren Bertolini and Matt Gelb of Syracuse Univ.’s DAILY ORANGE as they break the news that Todd Marinovich’s younger brother Mikhail, who plays for the SU football team, was “charged with criminal mischief in the fourth degree after allegedly breaking into the Manley Field House equipment room Sunday morning.

Mikhail Marinovich Todd Marinovich

Somehow, a skateboard and meth were not involved. Instead, the younger Marinovich is accused of breaking “a rolling metal gate to gain entrance to the room, as well as the cylinder lock that held the gate closed.

But of course, you just knew there had to be some sort of mind-altering substance involved in the alleged crime (and there was). Read more…