VH1 Pulls A Buffalo, Signs ‘The T.O. Show’ (Video)

Undoubtedly, many in Buffalo bristled when the Bills signed the media circus that is Terrell Owens over this offseason. While his on-field talents are undeniable, there’s always the lingering specter of discontent submarining a clubhouse and a season, borne out during every year of Owens’ career as he still doesn’t have a Super Bowl ring.

Terrell Owens Popcorn
(Welcome to Get Your Popcorn, Volume 2. But let’s try not to make such a mess of the refreshments this time, shall we?)

Worse yet, the blowups have become so high-profile that sometimes the level of coverage becomes a story in and of itself. And while that may be an invitation for disaster for a Buffalo club that probably needs a lot more help than a mercurial WR in order to achieve relevance in the Super Bowl race, at least VH1 had the wherewithal to realize that he’d be absolute gold for their team.

So without further ado, after the break, the five-minute trailer for The T.O. Show, premiering in two weeks. We have to warn you; it’s ludicrously silly.

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Speed Read: Magic Ready To Ruin Dream Finals

Somehow LeBron James ended another game against the Orlando Magic in their Eastern Conference Finals with the ball in his hand and a chance to win the game. But unlike Game 2, he couldn’t find the miracle the Cavaliers needed, as his desperation heave from 35 feet was off the mark, wrapping up the Magic’s 116-114 OT victory. Orlando now holds a commanding 3-1 series lead, as the Cavaliers are threatening to take a page from the Ohio State football team and choke at the worst possible moment.

LeBron James

And perhaps it was fitting, since the game only went to overtime on two James free throws on a questionable foul committed by Mickael Pietrus with six seconds left - with James needing a friendly roll to get the second. (And honestly, how can the best player on the planet be so average and unreliable from the free throw line? Do you ever remember feeling nervous when Michael Jordan stepped to the line at the end of a game?)

Dwight Howard

It’s hard to blame James for Game 4: after all, he did have 44 points and 12 rebounds. Even the eight turnovers in the box score are more a reflection of him trying to do everything because he had to than any faults. No, the big problem for Cleveland is that they’ve pretty much turned back into King James and His Inept Court of Jokers this series, with his supporting cast basically providing nothing (Delonte West and Mo Williams combined to go 12-for-30 in Game 4, including 0-for-6 from behind the arc.)

Meanwhile, the Magic were unconscious from three-point range, going 17-for-38, with Rafer Alston leading the way with six threes on the way to a 26 point night. And Dwight Howard played angry in overtime - perhaps over picking up his sixth technical foul of the season, or because he thought he was fouled at the end of regulation. No matter what the reason, he took it out on the Cavaliers, scored on three straight dunks en route to 10 points in the extra session. So a dominant big man plus great outside shooting is a good thing, I guess.

Sidney Crosby

Also a good thing: having your league’s best player and leading scorer on the same team. That’s exactly what the Pittsburgh Penguins have, and why they are heading back to the Stanley Cup after a 4-1 win over the Carolina Hurricanes to sweep the Eastern Conference Finals. And even though they didn’t score in the series-clincher, Penguins stars Sidney Crosby and Evgeni Malkin had done more than enough, proving to be way too much for a game but overmatched Carolina side. So while the NBA is wincing at losing their dream match-up, the NHL has to be thrilled with a likely Penguins vs. Red Wings rematch.

Mike Tyson

Finally, to update a tragic story we told you about earlier today, KPHO-TV in Phoenix reports that Mike Tyson’s daughter Exodus, 4, has died from injuries she sustained in a freak accident at her family home in Arizona. No matter what you think about Mike Tyson as a person, monster or character in a classic Greek tragedy, your heart has to go out to him and his family. For anyone with a child, reading about this gets your stomach all tied up in knots.

  • So after what PRO FOOTBALL TALK had reported was a tug-of-war to sign John Lynch as an NFL analyst, NEWSDAY says that the winner is Fox, snatching the former Buccaneers and Broncos standout from ESPN. Lynch will likely be replacing Brian Baldinger, which means that he’ll need to have his finger run over with a steamroller to match the “analyst with the gross digit” quota at the network.
  • Brian Baldinger and his gross finger

  • Is this a sign that the Anquan Boldin contract mess is about to come to an end?: ESPN.COM says that the disgruntled Cardinals wide receiver has fired Drew Rosenhaus as his agent. Stepping in? This guy.
  • Ready for a career switch to the exciting and fast-paced world of sports business? Fat chance, says the NEW YORK TIMES, as tough economic times have made jobs in the industry tougher to get than ever. In fact, it’s so bad that people actually want to work for the Cincinnati Bengals.
  • A new blog is asking people to vote Manny Ramirez into the 2009 All-Star Game to prove a point about how ridiculous MLB’s stance is on steroids. I say let’s really send a message and vote Jose Guillen in.
  • A STERN WARNING digs up an old Japanese tire commercial featuring Dennis Rodman, and it’s every bit as weird and indecipherable as anything you would expect involving Japanese TV and The Worm. But at least there weren’t any midgets involved:

  • As the BOSTON HERALD says, this is how bad it’s gotten for David Ortiz: last night against the Twins, he was dropped to the No. 6 spot in the line-up for the first time in more than five years. Not that it mattered; thanks to another lousy start by Jon Lester, Boston fell to Minnesota 5-2.
  • Top Orioles prospect Matt Wieters is getting his call-up to the big leagues, and is expected to make his big-league debut as a catcher on Friday against the Tigers. CAN’T STOP THE BLEEDING wonders if the Baltimore sports media is making too big of a deal about this. (i.e. could Peter Schmuck please remove his tongue from Wieters’ mouth?)
  • The NEW YORK TIMES has the latest from Roland Garros (English translation: Ron Garrett) Stadium and the French Open: Serena Williams serves a “horrendous” performance, while James Blake is bounced yet again.
  • Just how dominant has Zack Greinke been this season for the Royals? As the KANSAS CITY STAR reports, he gave up one earned run in his fifth complete game of the season, a 6-1 win over the Tigers…and his ERA actually went up slightly, “ballooning” to 0.84.
  • Probably not what Marshall wanted to hear about their prized football recruit A.J. Graham: the TALLAHASSE DEMOCRAT says that Florida’s “Mr. Football” was arrested on robbery charges - just hours before his scheduled high school graduation.

Who is the best NBA player to never win a title?

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Speed Read: Celts’ Davis Makes Magic Cry Uncle

If anyone was going to step up and hit the game-winning shot in a must win game for the Boston Celtics, of course if was going to be Glen “Big Baby” Davis, right? I mean, just look at the guy’s track record. It’s…OK, basically it’s him getting screamed at by Kevin Garnett on the sidelines and crying into his towel. So what I mean to say is that there is no possible way that Glen Davis hits the biggest shot of the season for the Boston Celtics.

Glen Davis

But there he was, with the clock running down on Sunday night against Orlando and the Celtics trailing by one, draining a 21-footer after the Magic had swarmed Paul Pierce to give Boston the 95-94 victory to tie their Eastern Conference semifinal series at 2-2. And there he was charging down the court like he was chasing down the ice cream truck as it took off down the street, taking out some helpless kid on the sidelines in the process. Make sure you keep an eye on the kid’s friend shooting daggers at Davis:

Yeah, kid, I’m sure you could have taken him down if he just wouldn’t have run away so fast. But back to the shot: it’s not that the shot was too uncommon for Davis to hit - he does have that kind of range from the outside. But to hit that shot in that situation is just uncanny. Almost as uncanny as Paul Pierce having the guts to pass to him and let him take the shot with the Celtics’ season basically on the line. Can you imagine Kobe Bryant passing the ball to Andrew Bynum in the same situation?

Meanwhile, remember how the Rockets’ season was supposed to be doomed when Tracy McGrady went out for the season? That didn’t happen, as Houston won a playoff series for the first time in 47 years (approximately) before giving the Lakers all they could handle in their Western Conference semifinal series. But the news that Yao “Bamboo Bone” Ming would miss the rest of the playoffs with a broken foot suffered in Game 3 was surely the end of their run.

Kobe Bryant and Luis Scola

Then what in the world were the Lakers doing trailing by as many as 29 points to a team starting a 6-foot-6 center (Chuck Hayes) before falling 99-87 to have their series evened up at 2-2? For one thing, the Lakers had no answer for Chris Rock Aaron Brooks, as the diminutive guard ripped Los Angeles for 34 points, while the combination of Ron Artest and Luis Scola held Kobe Bryant to just 15 points.

As Phil Jackson predicted, it may have just been a case of a team playing full of emotion after having their backs to the wall; and yes, the Lakers did still regain home court advantage during the two games in Houston. But watching the Lakers and comparing them to the molten hot ball of basketball destruction that is the Denver Nuggets right now, perhaps that Cavaliers vs. Lakers NBA Finals isn’t as much of a sure thing as we previously thought.

Meanwhile, in those “other” playoffs, the Bruins followed the lead of their basketball brethren from Boston, although their prospects are still far more bleak. Despite their 4-0 win over the Carolina Hurricanes, Boston still trails 3-2 and needs to win at Carolina in Game 6 (where the Hurricanes have lost just once this postseason) in order to extend things to a Game 7. And in the Western Conference, the Red Wings pushed the Ducks to the brink with a decisive 4-1 victory to take a 3-2 series lead.

Other stories you might have missed as you were voting for your mayor to shave his handlebar mustache:

  • While the Celtics and Bruins were in their playoff battle, the Red Sox were simply beating the Rays 4-3. But how could one fan celebrate everything that was going on in the Boston sports world on Sunday? BUGS AND CRANKS found one fan who had the perfect answer: a Celtics jersey pulled over a Bruins jersey, topped with a Red Sox cap:
  • The Ultimate Boston Fan

  • Just to finish our Boston sports orgy: are you ready for a reality show starring Troy O’Leary as the baseball version of Simon Cowell? The BOSTON GLOBE says O’Leary hopes you are, as he’s developing a new TV show called “Play Big or Go Home” that is trying to find baseball diamonds in the rough. My choice for the Paula Abdul spot at the judges’ table? The San Diego Chicken.
  • England national team soccer star Ledley King was arrested over the weekend after allegedly assaulting a bouncer at a London nightclub and insulting his Pakistani heritage. THE SUN says that King got to sleep it off in the drunk tank, literally, as he passed out in the stony lonesome for five hours.
  • While that was happening, the TELEGRAPH says that Manchester United was throttling Manchester City 2-0 to put a stranglehold on the English Premier League title with two games remaining. But mercurial United star Cristiano Ronaldo found something to mope about, throwing a fit after being removed by Sir Alex Ferguson just short of an hour into the match:

  • PRO FOOTBALL TALK says that Drew Rosenhaus is, as usual, stirring up more problems. This time he’s using Twitter to start trades for one of his disgruntled players, saying that he thinks teams would give up a 1st round pick and more for my client Darnell Dockett.” 
  • NASCAR’s head of drug testing isn’t exactly buying Jeremy Mayfield’s claim that a reaction to an allergy medication led to his positive drug test, telling USA TODAY that “in my many years of experience, I have never seen a violation like this due to the combination of over-the-counter or prescription products.” But maybe he was trying to get pregnant?
  • The TERRE HAUTE TRIBUNE STAR reports that Milka Duno was bumped from a spot in the Indianapolis 500 during time trials on Sunday and will have to try again this coming weekend. I wouldn’t mind bumping her either, if you know what I mean…
  • Milka Duno

  • The DALLAS MORNING NEWS passes word that author Edwin “Bud” Shrake, who co-wrote the seminal golf instruction manual “Harvey Penick’s Little Red Book” with the teaching legend, died Friday morning of cancer at the age of 77.
  • With college athletes getting in trouble about Facebook postings on a seemingly daily basis, you would think that universities would avoid social networking sites like the plague. But the IDAHO STATESMAN says that Boise State is embracing the concept in a big way, complete with Facebook pages, YouTube channels and more. (h/t to THE WIZ OF ODDS)
  • Former Vikings and Falcons linebacker Henri Crockett was one of four men arrested in Toronto early Saturday morning after a scuffle with police during a traffic stop when they found Crockett and others with a handgun in their car.

What’s your level of interest in the Indianapolis 500?

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Speed Read: NCAA Bans Recruiting 8th Graders

Finally realizing that we might be headed for a day when future hoops stars are recruited out of the womb, the NCAA has passed legislation banning contact by coaches with players who have not yet reached high school. That means no more offering 13-year-olds a full ride, there, Billy Gillispie.

Billy Gillispie

(”Noooooooo! I already had the class of 2019 signed!”)

It also means that this Mr. Show skit, which was starting to look less far-fetched over time, won’t eventually reflect reality:

The WASHINGTON POST explains the new legislation:

Over the past few years, some college coaches have looked to gain recruiting advantages by working at basketball camps comprising elite seventh- and eighth-graders because there was no NCAA rule prohibiting it. But the NCAA will now designate boys’ basketball players as “prospects” beginning in the seventh grade, which will prevent college coaches from working at such camps.

This is bad news for seventh and eighth graders, who now have to do things like, you know, go to school and learn rather than worry about their college hoops prospects all the time.

Speaking of hoops, Luol Deng woke from his season-long slumber and led the Bulls to a 102-93 upset victory over the Cavs in Chicago, where it was approximately -293° last night. LeBron James made only eight of 28 shots and turned it over eight times for what he termed his worst performance of the season — but he also said he was sick.

Luol Deng

In New Jersey, yet another rookie had a breakout performance for the Trail Blazers, as Jerryd Bayless scored a career-high 23 in Portland’s 105-99 win over the Nets. Meanwhile, the Nets owners (remember when they were going to move to Brooklyn?) are exploring playing preseason games next year at the Devils’ new arena in Newark, but want the NHL franchise to guarantee regular-season-sized crowds to do it. How are the Devils responsible for that?

It’s official. The Dodgers paid Andruw Jones $12 million for each home run he hit, and he’s not going to be hitting any more in their uniform. After attempting to trade him, L.A. finally released Andruw after one insanely horrible season, and Jones agreed to accept the $22 million he’s owed over a period of six years. Which means your team will still be paying for him in 2014, Dodger fans. Two years ago, Jones looked like he had a chance to hit 700 home runs. Now, it looks like he might not get 700 more at-bats in his career.

So, as you read here yesterday, Mark Cuban confronted J.R. Smith on the court for allegedly throwing an elbow at a Dallas player during the Mavs-Nuggets game on Tuesday night. Cubes reported the incident to the league office and even sent back a pair of signed shoes Smith sent him as a peace offering, saying Smith needed to sell them to help pay for the fine that was coming.

Mark Cuban thinks he's awesome

Well, it appears the joke is on Cuban. The NBA has cleared Smith of any wrongdoing, and — and this is great — are now pursuing possible punishment against Cuban for going on the court. George Karl wasn’t amused with the owner’s antics on Tuesday:

“If you want to interact, interact with the league office and interact with your own players, but don’t mess with my players. There’s no room for it.

“If this was a normal fan, he would have been banned from the building and maybe not ever let back in the game,” Karl said. “When the game starts, he is a fan. After the game, he’s an owner, but during the game, he’s a fan.”

Ouch.

Mark Cuban mad

Barry Melrose told people he wanted the Lightning to lose every game this season after he got fired. Former Leafs coach Paul Maurice has upped the ante, saying he’d like to see his old club not win a game for 10 years, according to the TORONTO STAR.

• THE JOY OF SOX is giddy that the Red Sox have extended Kevin Youkilis‘ contract for a very reasonable price of $40 million for four years. It’s four more years of this, anyway:

Kevin Youkilis

• The Rangers have asked their Gold Glove-winning shortstop Michael Young to move to third base to make way for a rookie named Elvis. Young was not happy with this request, but now tells MLB.COM it’s all been worked out.

• There’s dismal, and then there’s Northwestern blowing a 14-point second-half lead at home to Purdue and losing its 1,452,918th Big 10 game of all time.

• Baseball finally fixed the rules to definitively say that a postseason game must be played to its completion regardless of weather, and also eliminated the coin flip as the way to determine who would host a one-game playoff. They’re doing this crazy thing now where the team that won the season series would host the game, rather than something completely freaking random (the Twins would’ve hosted the playoff against the White Sox last year, had this whole “merit” approach been in effect).

• PETA is doing this thing where they’re trying to get fish renamed “sea kittens” to make them seem cuter or something. Anyway, WPBF-TV says they sent a letter to Palm Beach Atlantic University asking the school to change its nickname from Sailfish to Sea Kittens. Which begs this question: Is Palm Beach Atlantic University the most high-profile school you can go after, PETA? I think they play in Division XIV.

PBAU Sailfish

• 90-year-old Atlanta sportswriter Furman Bisher somehow has managed to put together a blog. Bisher is so old that he once interviewed Shoeless Joe Jackson about the Black Sox scandal. At the bottom of this entry he pushes the bounds of taste about the new stampede of Japanese media coming to cover pitcher Kenshin Kawakami (ah, so? Really, Furman?)

• Yankees blogger Todd Drew passed away on Tuesday at the age of 41. Drew was a frequent contributor to BRONX BANTER, which memorialized him yesterday. Drew had his own blog called YANKEES FOR JUSTICE.

Drew Rosenhaus tells the DALLAS MORNING NEWS that he’s certain that Terrell Owens will still be with the Cowboys next year. And we all know what a great source Rosenhaus is about all things T.O.

• You think the A-Rod deal is out of control? EPL TALK is reporting that Manchester City (that’s soccer) is offering to pay £243 million (that’s more than $362 million) to acquire Brazilian midfielder Kaka from the Italian league’s AC Milan.

Should Mark Cuban be allowed to go on the court during games and interact with players?

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Speed Read: Ball State Still Perfect, Still Screwed

It’s official: Ball State is the real deal. At least, as real as a win against a team called the Chippewas can make a team, but still: going on the road to take out a tough opponent like Central Michigan is tough. But the Cardinals pulled it off, winning 31-24 behind 177 yards rushing from Quale Lewis, keeping them perfect at 11-0 and keeping them on track for…the Motor City Bowl.

Ball State after defeating Central Michigan

Because no matter if the Cardinals win out, they aren’t getting an automatic BCS berth ahead of Utah, Boise State and BYU. And even if, say, Boise State loses a game, and USC wins the PAC-10 outright, freeing up another at-large spot, the choice for a BCS bowl would likely come down to a non-BCS school or Ohio State, and guess who wins that battle? (Unless the Buckeyes get upset by Michigan this weekend. Please stop laughing now.)

So yeah, another reason to hate Ohio State - not only did they ruin the last two BCS Title games, but now they are ruining things for Ball State. I know that Hawaii totally tanked last year against Georgia, but come on - wouldn’t you rather see Ball State in the Sugar Bowl against, say, Alabama than Ohio State?

Speaking of Cardinals…just as Arizona fans were starting to enjoy their team’s prosperity and start thinking about home playoff games, here comes a giant mess down the I-10. In this case, the ARIZONA REPUBLIC reports that it’s disgruntled running back Edgerrin James, who apparently wants to be released but the team won’t let him go. His agent Drew Rosenhaus maintains that he won’t be a distraction.

Edgerrin James

Since this is Drew Rosenhaus saying this, let me translate for you, Cardinals fans: this is going to be a massive, season-crushing distraction. Glad I could help. I still don’t know what team would be interested in a running back who is an old, beat-up 30 but plays about 40. Unless the Detroit Lions are in the market.

Finally, let’s transition from the unethical oiliness of Drew Rosenhaus (when a character based on you is so loathsome and unlikable that they need Jay Mohr to play you, that’s not a good mark on your character) to someone on the moral high ground: golfer J.P. Hayes. You might have heard that he DQed himself from PGA Tour Qualifying School after realizing that he had accidentally used a prototype ball during a round.

That’s pretty impressive moral fiber - it’s better than how I felt when I found someone’s wallet and resisted the urge to use their Shell gas card to by smokes even though I was broke and totally need some.

ESPN.COM’s Jason Sobel speculates that Hayes’ good sportsmanship could bring some good karma, as tournament sponsors will likely be lining up to offer the two-time Tour winner exemptions into their tournaments.

Other sports miscellanea from overnight:

  • KTRK-TV passes along word that those Texas cheerleaders who are accused of using feces to haze the JV squad have been indicted and are facing trial. Looks like something’s really hit the fan for them.
  • Morton Ranch High School cheerleaders

  • Top Rank boxing promoter Todd duBoef rips the ending to the Randy Couture vs. Brock Lesnar UFC Heavyweight Title fight, telling the LOS ANGELES TIMES that it looked “nothing more than a tough man contest” and that there is “no way it’s safer than boxing.” UFC President Dana White responds by telling the MMA EXPERTS BLOG that Top Rank chief Bob Arum is “95 years old and senile.” Let’s give this round to White, 10-8.
  • How does Mike Mussina plan on celebrating his first-ever 20-win season? Ken Rosenthal of FOX says he’ll do so by retiring.
  • Want tickets to the big Utah vs. BYU game? How about coughing up $1,600 each, asks the DESERET NEWS? I guess when you don’t drink, your have to spend the beer money somewhere.
  • The HOUSTON CHRONICLE says that Donald Driver’s father is in critical condition, two days after he was allegedly beaten by cops arresting him on outstanding traffic warrants. A family spokesman says one of the cops may have gone to school with the Packers’ WR and held a grudge.
  • The U.S. breezes past Guatemala 2-0 to finish up the semifinal round of World Cup qualifying. But as GOAL.COM notes, the big story is that Freddy Adu (is he really still only 19?) scored his first goal for the National Team during the match on a rather impressive free kick:
  • Toronto probably aren’t getting the Bills any time soon - in fact, FOOD COURT LUNCH thinks the NFL is going to London before Toronto. So they’ve provided their Canadian brethren with a handy British lingo guide.
  • What do you have in common with the NFL? You both probably want 49ers coordinator Mike Martz to shut up: CBS SPORTSLINE says he was fined $20,000 by the league for whining about a “quick spot” of the ball on the team’s final play against the Cardinals a few weeks ago.
  • The CHARLESTON CITY PAPER notes that four Charleston Southern football players are charged with allegedly robbing a couple at gunpoint for a whopping $35.
  • The TENNESSEAN reports that eight players from a Knoxville high school football team were arrested in a shoplifting ring that involved $9,000 in stolen merchandise, putting their status for their playoff game this week in doubt. Do you think?

Which rivalry game are you most interested in watching this week?

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A-Rod Proud Recipient of 1st Instant Replay Ruling

• Instant replay in Major League Baseball is used for the first time - for the player we all know it was designed for.

Alex Rodriguez leaning

• Pretending to be Joba Chamberlain can score you some free bagels - and free accommodations at the local jail.

• The next evolution in sports - Pigskin … In … Spaaaaaace!

• The Florida Marlins can only reel in 600 fans for Wednesday’s game. Even the Jupiter Hammerheads can get more butts in the seats.

• NBA rookies Mario Chalmers & Darrell Arthur face suspensions because of pot possession. Chalmers’ response: “SKINNERRRRRR!”

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Sheldon Brown Is Not A Fan Of Drew Rosenhaus

The NFL season kicks off in New York tonight, but even though the games count, it’s not officially the NFL season until Drew Rosenhaus does something to piss somebody off. Thankfully we have Philadelphia Eagles cornerback Sheldon Brown, who isn’t a very big fan of Drew’s, and has no problem letting the world know about it.

Sheldon didn’t take to kindly to the video Rosenhaus put up on YouTube recently detailing the status of his new client Lito Sheppard’s attempts to get a new contract from the Eagles. He not only feels that Drew insulted him in the video, but he thinks that by hiring Rosenhaus, Sheppard just might kill his career.

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Ocho Cinco Shows Up, Sits Out With “Sore Back”

Now the latest on everyone’s favorite dysfunctional NFL receiver, Terrell Owe…, no, sorry, Chad Johnson:

Chad Johnson at Bengals practice

Frankly, we’re getting tired of Ocho Cinco’s oddball antics. So, here’s the Cliff Notes version of what’s been going on with the brooding Bengal:

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