Denmark: Today’s Booze Is Good For You Study

TIME magazine gives a toast to a new study that may be too good to be true - drinking can actually be good for you.

Drew Curtis Admiral Ackbar SbB Gig

Researchers in Denmark have determined that a glass of alcohol a day can have the same beneficial effect on the heart as moderate exercise. Both activities create HDL, also known as ‘good cholesterol’, that helps clean out fatty deposits in the blood stream.

During a 20-year study of over 12,000 subjects, researchers found that moderate drinkers and non-drinking exercisers have a 30% less chance of heart disease than those that don’t drink or work out. And those that pound a brew after pumping some iron have a 50% less chance of the disease.

But don’t go hitting the bars for your health just yet.

Read more…

God Somehow Forsakes Colorado Rockies Internet Service Provider

YOUR SUREST SIGN THAT GOD MAY NOT EXIST AFTER ALL: The Rockies lied to their fans and the media today about their online World Series ticket sales disaster on Monday. The club claimed that a “malicious, external attack” was to blame for the club’s site shutting down while fans tried to buy tickets.

Dice K Computer

Apparently members of Rockies management were the only people in the Western Hemisphere on Monday not to fully grasp the onrush of traffic the site was facing. When it shut down, team officials simply lied to cover up their abject incompetence.

Drew Curtis of the ginormous echoes our sentiments to THE DENVER CHANNEL: “If they notified their upstream provider that they were under attack, the upstream provider could have shut that off no time flat.

Drew Fark Book

They’re lying. Scalping is big money, big enough for scammers to develop utilities to open thousands of simultaneous connections attempting to buy tickets. I suspect that was at least part of the problem.

We’re expecting members of Rockies management to soon start showing up at a podium for the Presidential debates.