Coach K. Baits Traitorous Ex-Pat Coaching Russia

Tomorrow is the 38th anniversary of the 1972 Olympic basketball gold medal game between the United States and the Soviet Union. In an unconscionable travesty neatly fashioned by game officials to resemble an actual competition, the Soviets were awarded a 51-50 victory that day. (Thanks to their performance, the referees went on to wildly successful professional wrestling officiating careers.)

Coach K Baits Traitorous Ex-Pat Coaching Russia

(Thursday: USA-Russia game is 38th anniversary of USA-USSR travesty)

The game is generally regarded as the most disappointing and disputed loss in the history of American international competition. In the aftermath, the entire U.S. Olympic basketball contingent refused its silver medals. (Reggie Bush wasn’t suited up.)

You want the Cliffs?

With three seconds remaining in the game, the U.S. went up 50-49 on two free throws by Doug Collins. (Yes, same dude with the primped, bad dye job.)

The Soviets botched the ensuing inbounds pass, which should’ve given the Americans the win. But the refs inexplicably recognized an official timeout by the Soviets that they claimed was taken before the turnover. (It wasn’t.) The clock, which was down to one second, was then reset to three seconds. (Crack East German engineering.)

Then things really got fun. Read more…

Speed Read: Manny Being Manny Being Ejected

The Manny Ramirez Traveling Salvation Show hit a snag last night in New York, thanks to an umpire with a hair trigger. Well, it’s hard to call anything about John Hirschbeck’s fifth-inning ejection of Ramirez “hair trigger,” since it took roughly 15 minutes seconds from when Hirschbeck rung Ramirez up on a called third strike to when he tossed Ramirez from the game for throwing his helmet, bat, elbow guard, cleats, socks and jock strap into the air in disgust.

Manny didn’t seem to think it was that big of a deal, since “I was playing only five innings, so I was leaving anyway.” Which came as news to Dodgers manager Joe Torre. Not that it mattered much - with Ramirez going 2 for 4 with three RBI and Clayton Kershaw throwing six shutout innings, the Dodgers cruised to an 8-0 win over the Mets. But it did give Los Angeles residents driven nutty by the Michael Jackson Circus a chance to remember the other, ridiculously overblown media circus in town.

If you are a college football fan who hates the current BCS system, you had reason to celebrate yesterday as Sen. Orrin Hatch ordered up a can of whoop-ass with a side of hash on the football elite during a congressional hearing about the college football playoff system, and the Senate cafeteria was all out of hash. Specifically, he said that “the Justice Department ought to be looking at this” because he believes the system violates antitrust laws.

(Play the BCS off, Keyboard Hatch.)

Which is great, until you realize that Hatch was the only member of the subcommittee on antitrust, competition policy and consumer rights to actually attend any significant portion of the hearing. But there were plenty of junior staffers there, fresh out of college and probably the only people outside of Hatch and Barack Obama who care about college football in Washington D.C.

Also, you have to understand that Hatch is from Utah, where the majority of the state is still steaming about the undefeated Utes being left out of the BCS Title Game last season, so there’s certainly an element of “playing it up for the home constituants” going on here. So you basically had Hatch grilling the President of Nebraska University, who was acting on behalf of the BCS Backers, which is kind of sad when you realize that Nebraska is roughly one zillion percent less likely to play in a BCS Title Game in our lifetimes than Utah.

Meanwhile, you might remember a small link we had yesterday about U.S. National Soccer Team midfielder Michael Bradley being suspended following a red card and subsequent confrontation with a referee at the end of the team’s shocking 2-0 win over Spain in the Confederations Cup. And it turns out that he will be suspended for three games, although it’s perhaps the weakest three-game suspension in sports history.

Michael Bradley

Ever get mad when a pitcher receives a five-game suspension for his part in a brawl, which only means that his next start gets pushed back one game? This one is even worse. FIFA has suspended Bradley for three games, all right - three games that he was never going to play in. The suspension will be served during the group play stage of the CONCACAF Gold Cup, which is convenient for Bradley since he’s not on the roster for the tournament.

Which means that Bradley will be available for the U.S. next game that matters, a World Cup qualifying match at Mexico on August 12. Somewhere in Mexico City, a Mexican senator is preparing a special committee hearing.

Other sports news that happened while you were fighting for the rights of busty mannequins everywhere, especially if they turn into Kim Catrall:

  • DEUCE OF DAVENPORT knows that the only thing better than Erik Estrada drunkenly butchering “Take Me Out to the Ballgame” during a Cubs game is him giving an interview in the booth during the game that somehow works in child porn and Ron Jeremy. A master class in awkwardness in two parts: First the singing…
  • …and then the interview:

  • Lance Armstrong has moved to within a second of the yellow jersey after his Astana team cleaned up during a team stage during the Tour de France. Which I’m sure no one in America cares about, but it has to be irritating the French more than a canceled Jerry Lewis movie marathon, and that’s always a good thing.
  • When playing for Russian side CSKA three years ago, Yuri Zhirkov didn’t take the advice of Chelsea owner Roman Abramovich to learn English. Which is a problem, since Abramovich signed Zhirkov to a a huge deal on Monday, and the winger will have to deal with struggling to communicate with his teammates.
  • When GM Joe Dumars fired Michael Curry as head coach of the Detroit Pistons, he claimed that the team needed a more experienced hand at the helm. Which makes it curious why he eventually decided to give Cavaliers assistant John Kuester his first crack at an NBA head coaching job. Couldn’t have anything to do with both Doug Collins and Avery Johnson bailing from the gig? But Kuester has been a head coach at Boston…University, which is close to the Celtics, right?
  • Another depressing sign of the economic times: the NBA salary cap will decrease next year for only the second time in 26 years. The cap number next year is $57.7 million, down almost one million dollars from last year. So when Dwayne Wade lashes out at the Miami Heat for failing to land a big free agent again, they have a ready-made excuse.
  • Reports are circulating that Mike Krzyzewski is going to be coming back to coach Team USA at the 2010 World Championships and the 2012 Summer Olympics. Because as he showed in Beijing, he clearly could handle coaching with limited talent.
  • If you had forgotten about it in the wake of the Michael Jackson Media Overload, just a gentle reminder about swine flu: IT’S GOING TO KILL US ALL! Swimmer Kate Ziegler had to pull out of the U.S. Nationals with swine flu, which is also sweeping through the World University Games in Belgrade. If Ron Weasley can’t use his Muggle magic to stave off the swine flu, no one is safe.
  • In case you were wondering if there was any bad blood between Brock Lesnar and Frank Mir ahead of their heavyweight title unification rematch, CAGEWRITER answers with a resounding “yep” after watching the two trade barbs during the “Countdown to UFC 100″ on SPIKE. Also, Lesnar thinks the referee of the first match is an idiot, and really, really hates doors.

  • Meanwhile, if you were curious, UFC fighter Quinton “Rampage” Jackson is still insane. He’s not crashing an SUV with his name and picture on it after a wild car chase this time, but SPORTS RUBBISH says he is dry humping unsuspecting reporters during interviews.

  • Interesting news about “aspiring rapper” Keith Norfleet, the ex-boyfriend of Sahel Kazemi. Not only was he the person who picked her up after she was popped for a DUI in Steve McNair’s car, but he also emailed a local newspaper the following: “Pretty interesting news about our golden boy McNair…You would be pretty amazed at the fact of who he was actually with, which I really don’t think his wife would like it too much either.”

Which story do you want to go away and never hear about again?

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Collins Not Coming Back to Chicago; Suns Maybe?

It’s been quite a week for sports reversals. First, Bill Parcells & Tony Sparano both want Jason Taylor back with the Dolphins, after earlier shunning the Dancing Fool. And now, Doug Collins blows off his chance to come back to the Windy City.

Doug Collins Sports Illustrated Cover

The CHICAGO TRIBUNE reports that the one-time Bulls coach will remain a one-timer, as Collins changed his mind about filling in the head coaching vacancy.

So, is Doug’s departure good news for the still-coachless Suns?

Read more…

Blog Jam: Evander Evading House & Kid Payments

• THE SCORES REPORT checks their wallet, as Evander Holyfield hasn’t coughed up enough dough for either his house or one of his nine kids.

Evander Holyfield

• LARRY BROWN SPORTS takes off to the Great White North, as the Winnipeg Blue Bombers pay tribute to honorary hoser Chris Berman.

• NEXT ROUND presses up video of a reporter outside a wrestling fundraiser getting a little more action than she bargained for.

• The PHILADELPHIA DAILY NEWS remembers when Kobe almost became a Sixer. Well, at least he once worked out & scrimmaged with them as a kid.

Read more…

Ronaldo’s Gal Takes Topless Pics In Ladies’ Room

Cristiano Ronaldo’s girlfriend lets loose in the ladies’ room, as Nereida Gallardo takes time in the toilet to show off her ta-tas.

Nereida Gallardo

Anna Benson is on the way back into MLB - oh, and her hubby Kris, too.

• Lesbians locking lips are asked to shoo away from Safeco.

Tim Tebow still evokes strong artistic feelings at his old high school.

• Looks like some Cubs fans never learn.

Read more…

Blog-A-Rhythm: British Lesbians Love Sharapova

• THAINDIAN NEWS serves up word that of all the tennis temptresses out there, Maria Sharapova is the most lusted-after among British lesbians.

Maria Sharapova

Guess Maria won’t make it out to any Mariners games anytime soon.

• WRESTLING NEWS DESK slams down a challenge from Tammy “Sunny” Sytch, who wants to know who’s been bad-mouthing her to TNA.

• THE WORLD OF ISAAC gets behind the idea of buying the wife or girlfriend the new Wii Fit.

• ESPN’s HASHMARKS is on cloud nine, as ex-Colts TE Ben Utecht has supposedly found his “dream job” with the Bengals.

Read more…

Recycler: Doug Collins To Be Named Bulls Coach

K.C. Johnson of the CHICAGO TRIBUNE follows up today on a recent report from KTAR-AM out of Phoenix that Doug Collins will be named the next head coach of the Chicago Bulls.

Doug Collins

Sources confirmed the former Bulls coach is expected to become the new Bulls coach. Collins coached the Bulls from 1986-89 and, as recently as two weeks ago, talked about not wanting to leave his TNT broadcasting job and the family life it afforded him.

But Collins’ extremely close relationship with Paxson, friendship with team Chairman Jerry Reinsdorf (who fired Collins) and the Bulls winning the draft lottery have changed his mind, sources said. Read more…