Mutumbo Waves Large Finger at Youth of America

We saw Dikembe Mutombo at NBA All-Star Weekend in Phoenix, toting enough concession food to kill a younger man.  Perhaps that’s his secret to longevity in the NBA.

While covering for Yao Ming’s latest foot-based absence last night, Mutombo sent four shots onto a new trajectory in a statistic oft-called “blocks”.  Honestly, though, we’d be alright with renaming it “Dikem-NO”.

Dikembe Mutombo finger wag

(There’s a 50-50 chance that’s not a throwback jersey)

After the game, the 42-year-old explained that the kids on the Golden State Warriors (especially teenager Anthony Randolph, who has abused Yao in the past) just didn’t seem to understand what his career has been based around since the late 1950s:

We need NBA Classics to show more of the Mutombo games so some of the youngest guys can learn. Everybody is trying me. I don’t know why. That young boy tried so hard. … He kept telling me, ‘I’m going to get you before the day’s over.’ It’s too bad. He tried, but he didn’t get a chance to dunk on Dikembe Mutombo. He’s not going to be able tell his grandkids, ‘I got Dikembe with one.’

We’re pretty sure at least one of the blocks was so fierce as to render the shooter unable to procreate, Dikembe.  That’s just mean.

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NBA All-Star Saturday: Not Easy Dunking Green

It’s something of a cliche: the All-Star weekend is a celebration of sport (laced heavily with a good ol’ dose of American capitalism).  However, moreso than any other sport, the NBA can lay claim to creating an atmosphere of joy around roundball during its All-Star days.

The Pro Bowl exists as a requirement and a paid vacation to Honolulu (which makes Miami next year an interesting experiment).  For the NFL, the Super Bowl acts as the party, though the nasty business of a championship at the end of the fortnight has the feeling of cramming for a final exam, something an All-Star weekend can avoid.

Dwight Howard at the NBA All-Star weekend

Baseball’s turned their All-Star Game into a vocation, demanding that this time it counts.  Why on Mantle’s green Earth would you make it count?  Not everything has to succumb to the gravity of the moment.  For example, turning the home run competition into the Battin’ Death March by ladeling the commercials on thick.

Dikembe Mutombo at the NBA All-Star weekend

(The NHL? Still a rumor, sadly.  Give it time, though.)

Saturday night at the NBA All-Star Game distills all of the fun into one structure for one night only.  Friday’s for the kids; Sunday’s the formality.  Saturday night is where people come to be seen, especially in their green power suits, and no one seems to be affected by gravity’s weak force.

And now a little photo essay about Marv Albert, Wolf Blitzer, Dikembe Mutombo, and a certain phone booth…
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Joe Johnson Has Ridiculous Range, Ices Game

In yesterday’s scintillating NBA slate, probably the play of the day came from Atlanta’s Joe Johnson, who hit a long three pointer to seal a 95-88 victory against the Sixers. Wait, that description can’t possibly do justice to what Johnson did. Observe:

Joe Johnson Long Shot

That,  as you can probably guess, is Joe Johnson in the circle, shooting a, what, 35-foot jumper? In crunch time. And drilling it. Here’s the video if you want it (and I’m guessing you do).

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Blog-A-Roni: ‘86 Dodgers Do The Baseball Boogie

• The LADIES… dance over the remarkable sight of the 1986 Los Angeles Dodgers doin’ the Baseball Boogie.

• YOU BEEN BLINDED raises their bids (among other things), as a nude photo of Tom Brady’s gal pal Gisele is on the auction block.

• Trying to cope with the Pope’s new announcement, DEUCE OF DAVENPORT offers up their own seven deadly sins of sports.

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Blog-O-Rama: Digger’s Not Dashing As Andy Capp

• THE SPORTING BLOG tells Digger Phelps to lose the Andy Capp cap.

Digger Phelps in Andy Capp cap

Darren Rovell of CNBC needs your vote to decide minor league baseball’s best logo.

• RIZZO SPORTS WEEKLY climbs up with news that a couple of cute skiers are set to scale Mt. Kilimanjaro for charity.

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Pam Anderson Running Huge Expensive Juggs Gun Helps Pepperdine Waves Baseball Team Smack Balls Longer Harder

West Coast Bias

• Larry Brown of AOL Sports Blog lets us know who’s running the JUGGS gun for the Pepperdine baseball team: Pam Anderson.

Pam Anderson Pepperdine Baseball Team

Anderson has apparently adopted the team and is serving as sort of a mascot/house mother for the Waves (or maybe she’s looking for a little extra support herself).

• Starving kids in Africa can wait, at least until after Tony Parker and Eva Longoria’s honeymoon this summer.

Eva Longoria Without Makeup

The HOUSTON CHRONICLE reports a charity all-star hoops game was scheduled for July 15 in Paris to benefit Dikembe Mutombo’s host and research center in The Congo, until Parker canceled the game due to the conflict with his post-nuptials junket.

Mutombo: “Tony is going to be on the honeymoon, and the French Federation says if Tony Parker will not play, the game cannot happen.

• If you want to break into sports journalism, the time is now!

Will Leitch of Deadspin headlines a MediaBistro.com panel tonight in NYC that will apparently help you break into the glamorous world of reporting on athletic endeavor.

But remember, if you want to be a real, live sports journo, you will have to keep your pants on.

Paul Katcher drops a clue why Starbury’s are sold out at retailers across the country:

Starbury

A-holes are buying dozens of pairs and reselling them at a markup on Ebay.

• Who knew Philadelphia Eagles owner Jeffrey Lurie and Larry David were kindred souls? While David’s wife continues to spew verbal diarhhea, Lurie’s wife Christina has her own absurd enviro act.

Christina Lurie Windmills

The ASSOCIATED PRESS reports she announced last week that the team will reimburse employees who buy their energy from windmills.

Hey, it could be worse. She could be telling us how to wipe.