Yes, Baby Racing Is Here; Will Civilization Survive?

Since the dawn of man, we’ve all asked ourselves the same question: How can we make our babies go faster? Of course the Lithuanians are the first to get a real handle on this, perfecting the sport of baby racing. Don’t ask about the pit stops, you really don’t want to know.

Baby racing

You may think that you have a fast baby, but you’ll never be sure unless you race him. And you can watch it on TV, but there’s nothing like going out to the track and listening to the roar of the babies live. There goes our leader now! Now where’s the beer guy? Read more…

Beijing Olympic Ceremonies Strip Show Revealed

More insight into the perfectionism demanded by Beijing Olympics officials as we discover that the fetching young lasses that led the Olympians into the Opening Ceremony earlier this month (and doesn’t that seem like ages ago now?) could not even be considered for their honored role without shaking off all their clothes and being measured from every angle.

Bob Barker and his ladies

(Just another example of China stealing our processes)

On the other hand, at least they got to defecate in the traditional Chinese pit, unlike the 900 soldiers toting the banner around that made up much of the Ceremony. Since they had to stay put for the entire ceremony (from prep through last citizen out), they received adult diapers for their convenience. Just adding to the pollution scent, we suppose.
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