• Rock Chalk Jayh…POW! Fights break out between football and basketball players for the University of Kansas - and some claim that a couple of n-bombs were dropped.

• An Iowa inmate gets let out of jail for the day so he can go see the Red Sox play the Royals in person.

• Two Costa Rican paparazzi are suing Tom Brady for being shot at during his wedding to Gisele. Brady’s reaction? “I go no reaction to that one.”

• Flummoxed by your fantasy football failings? ESPN is offering to help the old-fashioned way - with a toll-free phone number.

• When it comes to NCAA sanctions, the BCS schools often get lighter sentences than their non-BCS brethren.

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“She gets mad/Starts to cry/She takes a swing but/She can’t hit/She don’t mean no harm/She just don’t know/What else to do about it” - “Jane Says” by Jane’s Addiction

Most people assume that Jane’s Addiction’s seminal alt-rock ballad “Jane Says” is about their hometown of Los Angeles. It isn’t. It’s actually about Detroit, where lead singer Perry Farrell lived for some time.

It’s not actually about the Detroit Lions or their female fans, but the lyrics seem incredibly appropriate when watching this video from Sunday of a pair of loaded Lions fans making total asses of themselves after pouring beer on the head of a fan before getting hauled off by police to what was probably the biggest applause of the day:

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It’s always amusing when a buttoned-down sports personality decides for whatever reason to throw caution to the wind and blurt out something inappropriate before millions of television viewers. We won’t exactly call this an Artie Lange moment, but FOX’s Chris Myers amused us all on Sunday by managing to insult the Lions, Whoopi Goldberg and Julian Peterson Larry Foote all in one glorious sentence.

The video is below so you can hear for yourself, but suffice it to say that there was no real reason for Myers to compare playing for the Lions to dating the star of “Sister Act.” And that’s exactly what he did early in the first quarter of the Lions-Saints game. Here’s the quote:

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• Erin Andrews wants to put that whole terrible peephole incident behind her - that’s why she’s going on Oprah.

• What better way to get pumped up for the college football season than with our first look at the USC Song Girls.

• Tony Romo’s back with another blonde bombshell, as the Cowboys QB is supposedly smitten with Dallas sports TV reporter Candice Crawford.

• Why should you watch coverage of Kansas vs. Northern Colorado on Saturday? Because Samantha Steele will be working the sidelines.

• Want to tell the Chicago Bears coaching staff that you’d love to make the final roster but don’t know how? Say it with flowers.

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• Is there really any reason to watch the Fox College Sports broadcast of Kansas vs. Northern Colorado? Yes - and that reason is Samantha Steele.

• It’s bad enough Brett Favre can never decide when to end his career, but does he have to try to end other players’ careers with cheap blocks?

• Pacman Jones could be taking off for the Great White North. Winnipeg strip clubs already prepared to “Make it snow!” (It’s too cold for rain.)

• Why did Rich Rodriguez tear up during his recent press conference? Maybe because he’s being sued in a real estate deal gone wrong.

• Golf in England deserves a two-stroke penalty for banning beautiful caddy babes from the courses.

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The Detroit Lions are doing their damndest to put last year’s 0-16 abortion of a season behind them, and who can blame them? They fired their coach and GM, redesigned their logo, drafted a franchise QB - in short, they’re trying to leave their culture of losing behind (kinda hard in a city like Detroit, but whatever). So, let’s check in and see how the new-look, facelifted Lions are doing. Unrecognizable from last year? Er…well…

(Daunte Culpepper, seen here being attacked by a mean Berber rug)

We’ll say one thing: QB (and bikini babe magnet) Matt Stafford sure is getting a heck of a lot of snaps in practice. That’s going to help his development down the road. So good on them. But, uh, where are the other QBs? No, really…WHERE DID THEY GO?!

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As we mentioned this morning, Philip Rivers just got a monster new contract to remain the Chargers’ kinda-douchey quarterback. The important particulars: 6 years, $93 million. Well, check that - there’s no way he earns all $93 million.

(”No sir, I don’t like it.”)

That’s because he’s only guaranteed $38 million, and that figure’s likely a lot closer to the amount Rivers will actually get out of the contract than $93 million. Hey, it’s the nature of the game. Guys get released - or their contracts “restructured” - all the time. And Rivers was paid something approximating a fair market price, considering Eli Manning just got $107 million. But there’s one aspect of this that’s still troubling.

That’s the fact that Rivers, for the boatload of money he did receive, only got as much guaranteed money as if he’d been drafted 4th in 2009 instead of 2004.

Allow us to explain.

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• Smoking pot, partying with coeds, choking out assistant coaches - Percy Harvin sure knows how to sell the Florida Gators to recruits.

• Tiger Woods ends the Buick Open with a big bang - from his pants! And like Nike did with the LeBron dunk, the PGA tries to remove all video.

• Beer pong with babies & shotgunning brewskis with toddlers - now that’s good parenting!

• Time to go outside, as the Arena Football League is officially folding.

• Fergie Jenkins recalls the fun traveling with the Cubs during the days of segregation - such has having to sleep at funeral homes & bordellos.

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Whatever happens to Matthew Stafford this season as quarterback for the Detroit Lions (slow funeral dirge here), he is a winner in my eyes. No, more than that: He’s a hero. Boozy Fourth of July boat party with hot cheerleaders, the hottest of which is his girlfriend? Vertical lap dances? Random flipping the bird? That’s why God invented summer. But wait, who is the blonde damsel who stole Stafford’s heart?

After much speculation, BUSTED COVERAGE digs out the facts: She’s Kelly Hall, a University of Georgia cheerleader who may or may not be surgically enhanced. I’ll leave that speculation to you, since I am not good at estimating size from two-dimensional images (side note: Never buy a home solely off the Internet). But the photos above seem to offer evidence that Stafford used at least some of his signing bonus for a higher purpose.

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Sometimes, we write headlines that are a little misleading to draw you, the reader, in for more. We don’t do it often, since that sort of stuff gets played out real quick, but it happens. Happens everywhere.

(”It’s like they figured out a way to type with their vaginas. Can I say that?”)

This, amazingly, is not one of those instances. Look at that headline. Look at it again. Let it sink in. The Detroit Lions’ new head coach, Jim Schwartz, told the DETROIT NEWS that he doesn’t read book that women wrote. Would you like to know more? Because he’d like to tell you more.

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