• Titans cheerleader Melissa: All about beauty, ballet & brain research.

• Coming soon to a cinema near you: Dennis Rodman & The Four Dwarfs.

• Will the Worldwide Leader defy the Free World Leader over the BCS?

• Speaking of ESPN, the freshly-cut Pacman Jones plans on bringing a lawsuit against the boys from Bristol.

Read more…

Dennis Rodman and a bunch of dwarfs - it sounds like the recipe for the type of awful, Felliniesque nightmare that makes you wake up sweating and shaking at 3 a.m. and causes your double up your Xanax prescription and call your therapist in a panic. (I mean, theoretically, not me, but someone else…) But it’s actually the cast of a movie called “The Minis”- which really got made. On actual film. With a budget of $5 million.

The plot? Rodman teams up with four dwarfs - please, don’t call them midgets - to enter a prestigious basketball tournament in Venice Beach. Which, if you think about it, is the sort of headline that you wouldn’t bat an eye at if you read it on a blog. As you can see in the trailer, the movie is filled with “comedy,” “inspiration” and “acting”:

Stirring, huh? And since we are your source for all news relating to Dennis Rodman and dwarfs (as you would expect), we were able to speak last night with one of the stars of the film, Caroline Macey, who plays Natalia, the gold digging girlfriend of one of the dwarfs who also is obsessed with cows. (That, folks, is what we call in the industry “character development.”) To summarize some of the high points:

• When she auditioned, the casting director was on her knees to simulate the feeling of acting with a little person. (I understand this happens when they cast Tom Cruise movies as well.)
• The movie was written with Dennis Rodman specifically in mind. As was “Gran Torino,” from what I hear, but he had to back out due to a scheduling conflict, forcing Clint Eastwood to step in at the last minute.
• Apparently, Rodman was “very sweet” and “pleasant on the set.” Except when he thought one of his co-stars was in the way of one of the shots, and he drop-kicked him through the hoop. (That’s a lie: anyone who saw Rodman play in the NBA knows there’s no way he could make a basket outside of two feet.)
• It’s Italian! Of course it is: see my Fellini comment earlier. And really, I’d recommend watching it dubbed in Italian with English subtitles to get the authetic flavor of the project.

I know what you’re thinking: “This sounds great! But if only there was a way to bring the humor and excitement of ‘The Minis’ home with meas some sort of video game.” Well, it turns out that you are in luck: there is one. I can’t vouch if it’s as good of a movie-to-video game crossover as “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” or not, but you can check out the trailer to find out more yourself:

Meanwhile, in actual basketball news: the way the Boston Celtics are playing, Dennis Rodman and a team of dwarfs might stand a fighting chance. OK, that’s probably an exaggeration,  but it’s pretty clear that their early season magic is long gone. Last night they suffered their sixth loss in eight games, this time an 89-85 defeat at home against the Houston Rockets.

They now find themselves 1 1/2 games back of the Cavaliers for the best record in the NBA, and judging by Cleveland’s 111-81 rout of the Hornets, I would venture to say that the Cavaliers are ready for their big showdown with the Celtics on Friday. Boston can’t see out of it’s eye - you gotta cut them and make them bleed, Mickey!

In other news that happened while…screw it. I mean, Dennis Rodman and basketball playing dwarfs. Come on!

• Unlike the Celtics, the Lakers were able to bounce back from a shocking defeat, although the LOS ANGELES TIMES notes that it came down to the final minute against the hapless Golden State Warriors. Meanwhile, Pau Gasol is looking more and more like a homeless person every day:



• I know that in the era of free agency, we shouldn’t be shocked at anyone wearing any uniform at any time. But it’s going to be weird seeing John Smoltz in a Boston Red Sox uniform at Fenway, right? The ATLANTA JOURNAL-CONSTITUTION has all the details.
• The FORT WORTH STAR-TELEGRAM reports that Adam Jones gets cut by the Dallas Cowboys after ESPN airs footage of his involvement of a strip club shooting in Atlanta in 2007. Hopefully, he can go back to Pacman when he lands with the Toronto Argonauts.
• The COLORADO SPRINGS GAZETTE notes that Home Depot has ended its program with the US Olympic Committee which gave jobs to aspiring athletes while they trained in their events. And get me some vinyl siding while you’re at it, Rulon!
• CAN’T STOP THE BLEEDING checks in on Chris Russo’s Year in Movies wrap-up, and it doesn’t sound like Peter Travers of Rolling Stone should be quaking in his boots any time soon.
• PRO FOOTBALL TALK says that media sources in Cleveland aren’t exactly thrilled about Eric Mangini coming to town - one person says that “he is atrocious with the media – the worst – and has so many rules that make it hard to do our jobs.“
• The MENLO PARK ALMANAC touches base with the story of two players from the title winning Menlo-Atherton High football team who were arrested and charged with mugging a skateboarder and taking his iPod Touch.
• Darren Rovell of CNBC notes that despite the economy, college football assistant coaches are seeing their salaries reach unprecedented heights this season.
• As you get ready for the glut of Super Bowl ads, UNCOACHED breaks down the Top 10 All-Time Classic Miller Lite commercials. Joe Piscopo? Never not funny.
• Finally, the AP has an urgent APB: State College, PA police are on the lookout for Joe Paterno’s stolen, Coke-bottle glasses. Not actually his, but from the seven-foot statue outside of Beaver Stadium. Police believe the lead suspect is a giant, seven-foot tall Elvis Costello statue.

• Ana Ivanovic gets bounced from the second round of the U.S. Open by the 188th-ranked player in the world.

Well, at least Ana is still an alluring eyeful.

• A jerk who jotted down racist emails to Derek Jeter will be jammed into a jail cell for the next four years.

• Guess Beijing wasn’t the only Olympics to have pseudo-realistic ceremonies - isn’t that right, Sydney Symphony Orchestra?

• One Florida Gators running back doesn’t find his sex ed classes all that stimulating.

• Adios, Chad Johnson - Bienvenidos, Chad Ocho Cinco!

Read more…

Throughout my checkered youth sports career, I always wore the No. 7. Why? Because Ron Jaworski wore the same number, and he was my favorite football player when I was a kid. It was my way of emulating him, and the number stuck with me. Now, I emulate him by growing out a luxurious mustache and hating Tony Kornheiser.

The newest member of the New York Yankees also wears a number that’s a tribute to a childhood sports hero. Alfredo Aceves grew up watching the Chicago Bulls during their championship run, and his uniform number reflects the player who fascinated him. No, he’s not going to be No. 23: he tells the NEW YORK TIMES he’s wearing No. 91 in honor of Dennis Rodman. Read more…

• Oh, Dennis Rodman, what mischief have you gotten into now? The LOS ANGELES TIMES is more than happy to tell us.

• AWFUL ANNOUNCING wishes there wasn’t a screen behind home plate for once, as this cell phone gabber gets quite a surprise during a Rangers game.

• WICKED GOOD SPORTS ponders the possibility of this year’s All-Star Game at Yankee Stadium having no Yankee starters.

• HUGGING HAROLD REYNOLDS wonders if Barack Obama’s b-ball photo up with the Tar Heels was in violation of NCAA rules.

Read more…

• Jim Moore of the SEATTLE POST-INTELLIGENCER weathers the idea of Dennis Rodman as coach of the WNBA’s Storm:

• 100% INJURY RATE chows down on these tempting tales of athletes’ amazing & aggravating appetites.• RIVALFISH puts on their best chaps, as they get an Evite to Terrell Owens’ birthday bash.

• YOU BEEN BLINDED doesn’t know what all the fuss is aboot, as Steve Nash tells his nation’s basketball team, “No, Canada“:

• ALL BALLS sees stars with their stripes, as these referees unwittingly get in on the action.• WAGGLE ROOM putts around word that the rough ‘n’ rowdy National Golf League is coming back.

• AWFUL ANNOUNCING sweats to the oldies, as ESPN calls in Richard Simmons to keep the Worldwide Leader in shape:

• DEUCE OF DAVENPORT gets out the measuring tape (and medical tape), as they compare injuries between Steve McNair and the late Evel Knievel.• The ASSOCIATED PRESS clears the way for the Civil War coming to the Meadowlands, as Oregon alum Kellen Clemens leads the Jets against Oregon State grad Derek Anderson and the Browns.

PACMAN TO ENTER NO CONTEST PLEA IN VEGAS SHOOTING: If Pacman can’t win a free game, he’s willing to take a get-out-of-jail card.

BLOOMBERG reports that the troubled Tennessee Titan plans on entering a plea of “no contest” to charges stemming from last year’s Vegas strip-club shooting.In return, Jones will receive a one-year suspended sentence, meaning no time spent in the Clark County slammer. He’s scheduled to enter his plea this Friday.

As Pacman reflects on the events at the Minxx Gentlemen’s Club on NBA All-Star Weekend, USA TODAY has an in-depth look inside strips clubs.

Oh, and the athletes that visit them.New York-based Scores said that sports stars like Jeremy Shockey, Oscar De La Hoya and Dennis Rodman have frequented their establishments. When asked about their visits, all three declined comment.

Some dancers refer to athletes as “ATM’s”, for their penchant to spend, spend, spend. Jose Canseco claims to have seen players spend “more than $10,000 a night on lap dances, private rooms, champagne toasts and tequila.”

Maybe he speaks from personal experience - and personal financial losses.Jets linebacker Jonathan Vilma warns about dangerous situations that can occur at such establishments: “You’ve got drunk guys, drunk girls, crowded areas. Things occur.”

But ex-Piston and “Best Damn Sports Show” host John Salley points out how athletes with money are drawn to strips clubs: “Where do you take warriors? To church? No, you take them around a bunch of scantily dressed women who make them feel like stars.”

• MR. SUNSHINE saves it for later, as Dan Patrick’s radio show will be broadcast in many markets on tape-delay:

• ALLBALLS takes a break, as they enjoy these amusing halftime spectacles.• WIZZNUTZZ via DEADSPIN knows a chicken box signed by Manute Bol & Spud Webb has to be finger lickin’ good.

• JEN’S FREE THROWS teases us with a first look at Venus Williams’ new ‘do:

• WAGGLE ROOM checks their report card, as teen golf sensation Tadd Fujikawa is letting his grades slip a bit.• PART MULE knows the Celtics are so good, Doc Rivers doesn’t even need to coach them.

• MONDESI’S HOUSE digs up a classic photo of a collegiate Dan Marino and his Pitt hitmen:

• LARRY BROWN SPORTS checks their wallet, as it now costs a family of four nearly $500 to attend one Lakers game.• And if you decide not to head to Staples Center, you can always use that cash to buy the most expensive video games made.

• He can bring his own makeup: RIVALFISH scores news that Dennis Rodman wants to be a WNBA coach:

The Worm should be able to provide proper motivation to his players.• CONSTRUDA discovers Tim Hardaway trying to make amends for his earlier anti-gay remarks.

• THE BOTTOM LINE hates Notre Dame, but even they aren’t having fun anymore with the suck of the Irish.

RODMAN GETTING HIS SPOOK ON FOR MIAMI HALLOWEEN: Looking for a really scary time on Halloween? Why not get swept up in Rodmania!

Dennis Rodman will be worming his way to Miami, as the Bad Boy will be hosting the spooky event Friday night at a local racetrack & casino.For only $20, you can partake in drink specials, DJ music, and lots & lots of loud drunks in sexy & psuedo-sexy costumes - with big prizes for those looking the sluttiest!

But if you’re gonna come dressed as a waitress, be sure to buffer your behind.