Brog: ATM Machine Most Inspires Hottie Gymnast

Darren Rovell today has a video interview with American gymnast Nastia Liukin, who unwittingly provides the definitive metaphor of what the modern Olympics have become.

Nastia Liukin ATM Machine

(Another Olympic venue that also features hotties who loves ATMs)

As part of the report Rovell said, “Liukin told us that seeing her image on advertising before the games actually gave her confidence.”

Nastia Liukin

(Nastia was inconsolable after learning of those pesky ATM transaction fees)

So her Visa ads boosted her up before her Olympics appearances? Sounds a little far-fetched, until you hear the same thing come out Liukin’s mouth: “I walked into the Olympic athlete village, seeing the Visa ATM machine with my picture on it and the Chinese character saying “destiny” … for some reason it just boosted my confidence.

Liukin’s Olympic dream is inspired by an ATM machine? Perfect.

And this isn’t a case of me taking an obscure comment out of context (2,922 mentions of it at Google News!). That same ATM machine storyline has been covered by just about every media outlet, thanks to Liukin continuing to bring it up.

The whole thing is almost as ridiculous as if Nastia had her picture on a NASCAR entry whizzing around Talladega.

Nastia Liukin NASCAR

Oh, wait, she does.

Also, Liukin’s plans after her gymnastics career is over will shock you. She wants to get into “modeling and acting.

Nastia Liukin

(Nastia is ready to pounce on the myriad adult modeling opportunities sure to roll in!)

I know, I had my money on E! entertainment reporter, too.

Jorge Sedano of 790 The Ticket in Miami with yet another cool find:

Tiger Woods walks on water in EA Sports Video Game

Apparently a YouTube user recently claimed to have found a glitch in Tiger Woods’ EA Sports video game, which had Woods being able to hit the ball while standing on water. So in response, EA shot this cute reply with Woods walking on water.

Haven’t confirmed if EA concocted the whole idea out of thin air (and created a fake account to set up the spot), but it really doesn’t matter. Great idea.

Fun clip from an old SNL Olympics bit:

All Drug Olympics

Much funnier: Dennis Miller looks like Gene Simmons after a hydroxycut bender.

On NBC’s “Today” show this morning, NBC’s Meredith Vieira read this promo: “We’ve seen them run and jump and swim and tumble, but what do the Olympic athletes do behind closed doors?”

It wasn’t made immediately clear what the segment was about. Perhaps Al Roker with an investigative report on the Albanians’ flossing habits. Now when I heard the read, this is immediately what popped. Into my head, that is:

yelena isinbayeva

Russian track & field athlete Yelena Isinbayeva.

Read more…

Blog-A-Roni: Free Dances For Super Bowl Champs

• CONSTRUDA saves their singles, as a New York strip club is offering free lap dances for the Super Bowl champion Giants.

OsiUmenyiora

• Now that collegiate coffins have been okayed, EVERY DAY SHOULD BE SATURDAY offers up suggestions for scholastic-themed sex toys.

• THE BIZ OF BASKETBALL talks trash, as Steve Nash will be wearing Nike’s new recycled shoe.

Read more…

Dennis Miller The Lorenzo Neal Of Sports Media

YEAH, BUT WE HEAR HE’S ONE HELLUVA PASS BLOCKER: We’re sorry, but we do admit to listening to the AM dial on occasion, and Dennis Miller’s radio play is sometimes a little like Lorenzo Neal when a pass is called - the 10th option. When we do dump it off to Dennis, he’s usually a little low on blood sugar and his sports acumen, based on an occasional quip, is as superficial as a Joel Meyers’ fellow broadcaster backstab.

Dennis Miller

We haven’t seen his new sports show on Bravo. Or was it The-N? Or was it GSN? Regardless, Rick Chandler of DEADSPIN relays the (fake) highlights from last night:• Mistake of the Week. Referred to the Kansas City Chiefs head coach as “Norm Edwards.”
• Number of times said the word “cat” in reference to a person: Seven.
• Event of the Week: The Stub Hub Legends Classic (a real event, actually, I think).
• Unfortunate Simile of the Week: “He was more stoned than a Syrian adulteress.”
• Guests: Jose Canseco, Bruce Pearl, Warren Sapp.
• Best line:. (By Sapp) “I’ve played for 13 years, and that takes a toll. If I’m going to continue, I’m going to have to go see Jose …

Sounds like a great place to be on Monday nights - after about 15 shots of twist-off bottled Merlot.

Dennis Miller Riffs On His Days In The Monday Night Football Booth

MILLER RIFFS ON HIS DAYS IN THE MONDAY NIGHT BOOTH: As Joe Theismann frets and fumes over his ESPN dismissal, another ex-Monday Nighter revisits his glory days:

3 Dennis Millers

In a Q&A with SPORTS ILLUSTRATED, former ‘MNF’ analyst Dennis Miller talks about his experiences in the booth. He says his favorite ploy was to try and get on-air reactions from Al Michaels.Miller’s fondest game-time memory was his comment while a player was getting his ankled wrapped. He told Michaels, “I haven’t seen that much fabric used since the environmental artist Christo wrapped Pont Neuf in Paris.”

Al Michaels Cleveland Nun

Al turned off his mike, then turned to Miller and said, “What the f— are you talking about?“(Coincidentally, that was the usual viewer response during Dennis’ two-year stay.)

Anyway, Miller also touches on the touchy subject of Joe’s jolt from the Monday Night mantle:

At first he used to drive me crazy, but I would tell myself, ‘Anyone who throws for 560 in a game at Notre Dame, you have to respect.’ But then I got to know him a little and I thought his on-air stuff got better.

Joe Theismann Joe Namath

“Obviously, it came down to a him or Tony (Kornheiser) thing and I don’t quite know what the machinations were, but believe me, I sniffed around. That story is on deep background.”

Sounds mysterious. Or maybe they just didn’t like him.