I love you, England. I love you because your women have English accents, and they can make literally anything sound far more interesting than if an American says it. Also, your jokes are usually funnier and there’s nothing produced by an American television company quite like the BBC’s Top Gear.
Oh, and also, only in England can you hear a lawyer say the following: “You know it cannot have been a good night when you get into a fight with Spiderman and two cross-dressing men.” Did we mention the two men in question are MMA fighters? And that closed-circuit cameras captured the whole fight? Nighty-night, drunk men; video is after the break.