You were awful in Little League as a kid, which prematurely ended your dreams of being a professional athlete. Throughout high school you harbored hatred for the jocks, and as a grown man you reached a breaking point one lonely morning watching “SportsCenter”. So you took it upon yourself to target a group of athletes who have no business being where they are, even if their fame is based in pity. So, wanting to take out your aggression on a differently-abled, “slow” group of youngsters, and seeing the Nationals weren’t visiting your town, you assault a bunch of Special Olympic kids.

That’s my expert psychoanalysis of David Schwartz, who could cure cancer next week and would still be forever known as “The douchebag who threw a chunk of metal at disabled children during the Special Olympic Torch Run.” I hope they print it on your tombstone, f**ker.

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