• WITH LEATHER spots David & Victoria at the Met’s Costume Gala, and Vicky looks like she’s ready to bend it (over) like Beckham to throw up.

• The HONOLULU ADVERTISER reminds us that today’s the day Michelle Wie gets back on par with her pro golf career.

• But Tony Romo won’t be joining her on the links, as the DALLAS MORNING NEWS reports that the Cowboys QB missed the U.S. Open cut.

• Worse yet for Tony, DEADSPIN follows up that HBO & NFL Films don’t want Jessica Simpson showing up in any episodes of “Hard Knocks“.

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When the LA Galaxy visited Hawaiʻi in February for the Fantasyland “Pan-Pacific Championship”/David Beckham World Tour, Beckham made a gracious gesture after the Febuary 22nd match. Instead of handing his jersey to a Gamba Osaka player, he jogged to the crowd, pointed at a boy, and tossed him his jersey. Look, how sweet!

But wait, what’s this? A tussle has broken out over the jersey! Which of these two boys - best friends for years - did Beckham throw the jersey to? Who will let go first? Who will win?

(MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE!)

Look at the eyes on those kids. That’s “Lord of the Flies” right there. Don’t turn your back, Piggy. You’re goin’ down and you’re goin’ down hard.

Even in a non-contiguous United State, you know how this ends: with lawyers.

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Way back when David Beckham actually played good soccer for an elite team in an elite league, he allegedly cheated on his kinda hot, kinda creepy wife Victoria.  Now his supposed mistress is getting ready to talk.

Rebecca Loos, Beckham’s former assistant, will appear on UK television show GENERATION SEX to discuss a myriad of topics.  A source says, “it’s highly likely that Beckham will be mentioned.  After all, that’s what made her famous.”

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• THE LONDON SUN catches David Beckham checking out the great view from his courtside Lakers seats.

• THE BLOWTORCH burns through the NBA rosters to find the worst player on each playoff team. Today’s lucky winner - Joey Graham of the Toronto Raptors.

• THE SPORTING BLOG jiggles their joystick, as Madden 09 will let gamers control their own touchdown celebrations.

• AZ SPORTS HUB comes across a couple of Suns fans expressing their support of Steve Nash by way of Eminem.

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We’re always Stokked to uncover new photos of the amazing Allison.

• Does a former Patriots cheerleader have a fetish for the fatties?

• The snide slapshots delivered by local scribes almost has us paying attention to the NHL playoffs.

• Andruw Jones is really growing into a heavy hitter - literally.

• An Australian rules football player gets a seven-week suspension for slugging an opponent.

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LA Galaxy fans, you’ve just watched your team give up three goals in a loss to Toronto FC, who can only score if you’re counting their fans and they can only score because they’re schnockered to their Canadian gills. It’s killing you. You just want to find a way to start over. So print out the game story (because it won’t be in the TIMES; ha!), wad it up, and toss it…

…into your David Beckham garbage can. If it’s rubbish, it’s David Beckham.
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• Turns out it was Jason Smith that was the anonymous Sixer who made merry with Mary Carey.

• Motorcross racer Sophia Paull is sure to rev some engines.

• Congraualtions, Larry Fitzgerald! You’re officially a proud papa!

• Here’s photographic proof that Michelle Wie & Robin Lopez are an item.