Speed Read: Overrated, Clap Clap, Clap Clap Clap

Because no battle is ever won, he said. They are not even fought. The field only reveals to man his own folly and despair, and victory is an illusion of philosophers and fools. - William Faulker, “The Sound and the Fury”

That was written by Mississippi’s “greatest author,” who I also thought was kind of overrated. Which, it turns out, could easily apply on multiple levels to the Ole Miss football team. On a national stage and with a No. 4 ranking, the Rebels completely imploded, falling 16-10 at South Carolina last night. It may or may not be true that no battle is ever won, but for Ole Miss, this one was certainly lost.

Moe Brown of South Carolina

Mainly it was lost for two reasons: QB Jevan Snead had a miserable game, going 7 for 21 for 107 yards while being pressured by the Gamecocks’ defense all night. And Houston Nutt’s game plan reminded you of why he was barely a .500 coach with a backfield of Felix Jones and Darren McFadden at Arkansas. Nutt seemed unable to accept that the passing game just wasn’t working, and waited until the fourth quarter to turn to running back Dexter McLuster. He ran for 68 yards in the final quarter, but by then it was too little, too late. Read more…

Speed Read: NFL Commish Feels Your Fiscal Pain

Quiet night in sports as the NBA gears up for the All-Star weekend in Phoenix (first round of stories: “Hey, it gets cold in the desert!”).  Therefore, coverage this morning will be 20-25% less sports-y.  This is in honor of NFL Commisioner Roger Goodell taking a pay freeze this year and trimming his bonus from last year to drop his 2008 pay by roughly a quarter.

Roger Goodell

“The commissioner believes it will take a collective sacrifice of everyone to get through this difficult economic environment.” The commish is wise.  However, the commish will certainly have a better case for the uncapped year coming up and the next CBA negotiations by showing “fiscal responsibility” now.  Also, the layoff of 15% of league staff in NYC might be a little more palatable.

Darren McFadden, Bay Area savior and Al Davis’ last good idea, had his shoulder ’scoped last month, but no one knew his shoulder was injured.  Not only that, but he went back to his college doctor to have the procedure done.  We’re not suggesting this was a good idea, but Al Davis’ medical plan for the Raiders consists mostly of leeches and bromide.  Hey, it’s worked for him…

Al Davis

(ARISE AND BE HEALED)

Here’s something to chew on since you can’t chew on your world record fingernails anymore…

My God, it takes longer to leak PED names than to take a leak for a drug test. When will we finally see those 103 other names from 2003’s MLB positive test list?

View Results

Raiders Embarrass Chiefs In NFL’s Worst Rivalry

I don’t care about history - if two teams are in the midst of prolonged, franchise-draining collapses, can they really be considered to have a rivalry anymore? Witness Sunday’s game between “bitter rivals” the Oakland Raiders and the Kansas City Chiefs. The only thing “bitter” was me having to watch the entire mess because my friend is a Chiefs fan.

The pre-game talk was about how far the Raiders had fallen, and if their head coach Lane Kiffin would have a plane ticket for him after the game or be left to buy a Greyhound ticket back to the Bay Area for himself. Amazing, the Raiders were able to go into Arrowhead Stadium and get a 23-8 victory, which tells you just how far the Chiefs have fallen in the last few seasons. (And yet no one is talking about firing Herm Edwards…yet.)

Read more…

Ex-Arkansas LB Fleeing Cops Tackled By Bushes

You would think that an all-SEC linebacker could outrun the police - unless Darren McFadden is moonlighting as a cop, the LB should have the edge in athleticism. But you can never count out being really high as the great equalizer. Just ask former Arkansas LB Freddie Fairchild.

According to THE SLOPHOUSE, Fairchild ran from the cops on Sunday morning after cops saw a group of men on the street and “smelled a strong odor of burnt marijuana coming from the crowd of people.” Fairchild allegedly ran from the cops but was done in by a vicious chop block thrown by a row of bushes.

Read more…

Darren McFadden Has 60 Million Reasons To Live

Oakland Raiders running back Darren McFadden has just become the latest argument for a rookie salary cap in the NFL, having just signed a six-year, $60 million contract.

Darren McFadden oakland raiders

It’s very similar to the six-year, $61 million dollar deal that Jamarcus Russell signed after missing nearly all of preseason last year. But how much does it help a team when its two highest-paid players are essentially unproven rookies? Read more…

Blog-A-Roni: Pacman Chomping His Way To Big D

Matt Mosley of ESPN’s HASHMARKS notes what the biggest reaction was to the finalization of the Pacman-To-Cowboys trade: “Patrons of Dallas strip clubs were spotted running for the exits.”

• The SOUTH FLORIDA SUN SENTINEL checks in to see how well the Orange Bowl demolition is going.

Orange Bowl Demolition

• Taking a cue from the K.C. Royals, EVERY DAY SHOULD BE SATURDAY makes a date with the Oregon Ducks’ O-Line and their new calendar.

• Comedian Chris Elliott laces up with the New York Rangers. Man, we sure miss “Get A Life“.

Read more…

Blog-A-Roni: Tyson Can’t Punch Out Quick Promo

• YOU BEEN BLINDED has some good news for commercial announcers - Mike Tyson won’t be taking your job anytime soon.

Mike Tyson

• The TORONTO GLOBE & MAIL reports that the CFL’s Argonauts have become a halfway house for another NFL problem player. This time it’s David Boston.

• WE ARE THE POSTMEN hopes new Bucks coach Scott Skiles enjoys his time in Milwaukee - since many sports folks don’t seem to.

• 100% INJURY RATE finds Rasheed Wallace jokingly joining the Sixers’ team huddle - then missing the potential game-tying shot.

Read more…

Cowboys: No Plans To Trade Into Draft’s Top Five

The most only intriguing story about the NFL draft is Jerry Jones’ supposed obsession with Arkansas running back Darren McFadden. There’s been plenty of rumors in the past few weeks that Jones is piecing together a gargantuan offer for teams in the NFL draft’s top five spots to pick over - in order to land McFadden for the Cowboys.

Jerry Jones Darren McFadden

(Sad: They were perfect for each other)

But Jones completely debunked that notion today in comments to Randy Galloway of the FORT WORTH STAR-TELEGRAM. Read more…

Vilma’s Velcome To Talk Trade - Except With Pats

The BOSTON GLOBE reports that the New York Jets are allowing Jonathan Vilma to test the trading waters, and the linebacker is free to chat with other teams - except the Patriots.

Jonathan Vilma Jets

Two sources close to Vilma say the Jets will let Jonathan “shop his services” to the 30 other NFL franchises, but not to the guys in New England. Apparently the Jets are still a bit miffed about that whole Spygate thing at the beginning of the season. Read more…

McFadden Runs Fast - Away From Paternity Suit?

Darren McFadden had the need for speed, as the ex-Razorback raced to a 4.27 in the 40-yard dash at the NFL Combine on Sunday. How was he able to move so fast?

Darren McFadden Baby Razorback

Maybe he was running away from his paternity problems.

The ST. LOUIS POST-DISPATCH reveals that back in January, a woman from Little Rock filed suit against McFadden, alleging the Arkansas RB to be the father of her little girl. But Darren denies he’s the daddy. Read more…