Does Anna Kournikova Have To Choke A B****?

Of all the laws governing space, time & physics, one of the most important is that you never pick a fight with Anna Kournikova. Unless you’re an attractive girl, and I can watch. Many roughed her up on the tennis court, but on Monday night Anna proved that, while trying to relax at a club in Vegas, she is not to be trifled with.

Anna Kournikova

Kournikova, in town attending the Harbat Classic Table Tennis Tournament, was with friends at the LAVO Nightclub in Las Vegas when she got into an altercation with another woman. The woman reportedly threw a drink in Kournikova’s face after a verbal altercation, and then a catfight ensued. And all of this for only a $5 cover!

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Week In Review: Danielle Lloyd Destroyed in Fight

• Hottie soccer WAG Danielle Lloyd gets bruised & bloodied in a bar fight.

Danielle Lloyd

(The delicious Danielle, back before her bar-brawling days)

• What a memorable Memorial Day: Jose Canseco gets mauled in his MMA debut, while Mr. T pities Cubs fans with his 7th inning song stylings.

• Meanwhile, Kendra Wilkinson & Hank Baskett go for a dip at the MGM Grand’s Wet Republic - and Holly Madison is there, too!

Danica Patrick’s latest GoDaddy spot features the randy racer being pulled over by a policewoman-turned-stripper.

• Victoria’s Secret model Adriana Lima is pregnant. Great job, Marko Jaric!

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Soccer WAG Danielle Lloyd Bloodied In Bar Fight

• Sexy soccer WAG Danielle Lloyd gets laid out in a bloody nightclub brawl.

Danielle Lloyd bar fight

• The real big racing news from this weekend: Danica Patrick’s new GoDaddy commercial, complete with a cop who keeps losing her clothes.

• Quite a memorable Memorial Day - Jose Canseco gets mauled in his MMA debut, while Mr. T mauls “Take Me Out To The Ballgame“.

Mike Tyson’s 4-year-old daughter is in “extremely critical condition” after accidentally strangling herself on a treadmill cable.

• Maybe new Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor can clean up baseball’s current mess. She has taken on MLB before.

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Hottie Soccer WAG Lloyd Sliced In Nightclub Brawl

When you’ve slept with half of the soccer players in the English Premier League, it probably goes without saying that you like to party. So it was no surprise when model Danielle Lloyd went to a swanky nightclub on Monday night with her current Man of the Match, Tottenham Hotspur star Jamie O’Hara. It was her exit that was more shocking: instead of leaving the Crystal Club in London to the flash of cameras and stepping into a limo, THE SUN says Lloyd wound up being taken to the hospital for surgery after a brawl left her covered in blood on the sidewalk.

Danielle Lloyd Sport Relief

The brawl apparently started when two women started dancing on the back of a VIP couch that Lloyd and her group were sitting on. Words were exchanged, and Lloyd wound up getting thrown through a glass table. She wound up looking like an extra in a “Friday the 13th” movie laying on the ground waiting for help.

Want to know what a model looks like after getting through a glass table? You can see the carnage after the jump:

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WAG Sacks Soccer Star Over A Matter Of “Trust”

Teams named the Spurs seem to do pretty well in the WAG department. San Antonio Spur Tony Parker has a pretty sweet spouse in Desperate Housewife Eva Longoria. And Jermain Defoe of English soccer club Tottenham Hotspur (a.k.a “The Spurs”) was doing quite well with a lovely lass by the name of Chantelle Houghton.

Chantelle Houghton Jermain Defoe

(What a lovely pair)

Jermain has been on the shelf with a broken foot, and as evidenced by the photo above, Chantelle has been by her bloke’s side through this trying time, helping with his rehab. (I’m not aware of any specific medical training Ms. Houghton has - but how can you not feel great when you’re around that sexy specimen?)

Sadly, Defoe is going to have to find a new foxy Florence Nightingale, as Chantelle has shuttered their relationship. And it’s apparently because of Jermain’s past of juggling girlfriends. (Photos of the parties responsible after the jump.)

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Hef Needs You To Follow The Bouncing Bras Balls

• Playboy is looking for one lucky college writer to cover the Final Four.

Erika Eleniak Playboy basketball cover

Candidates must be able to find girls with a great set of Gonzagas.

• Some NFL squads can learn a lot from the CFL’s Calgary Stampeders.

• Being fat, drunk, stupid and a Lions fan is no way to go through life, son.

• Abracadabra! Eddie Jordan disappears as Wizards coach.

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British Hottie Can’t Stop Banging Soccer Players

See that fine-looking young lady down there? Of course you do, you stared at her for a good 20 seconds before you even started reading the article. Anyway, that lovely young lass is Danielle Lloyd, she’s a 24-year-old ex-Miss England, now she’s (obviously) a model, and she’s had more soccer balls fly at her than Kasey Keller.

Danielle Lloyd Sport Relief

(How do you spell sport relief? D-A-N-I-E-L-L-E.)

Lloyd’s latest conquest is Liverpool’s Ryan Babel, a 21-year-old striker. Yeah, I haven’t heard of him either. He would be the sixth soccer player Dani has been linked with, which NEWS OF THE WORLD helpfully details for us after the break:

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