Blog-A-Roni: Free Dances For Super Bowl Champs

• CONSTRUDA saves their singles, as a New York strip club is offering free lap dances for the Super Bowl champion Giants.

OsiUmenyiora

• Now that collegiate coffins have been okayed, EVERY DAY SHOULD BE SATURDAY offers up suggestions for scholastic-themed sex toys.

• THE BIZ OF BASKETBALL talks trash, as Steve Nash will be wearing Nike’s new recycled shoe.

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Blog-O-Rama: Sac Kings Dance Team A Lot Of Fun

• WITH LEATHER gives a toast to the Sacramento Kings dance team:

Sacramento Kings dancers drinking

• JOE SPORTS FAN takes a look at the folks who would purposefully spend money to attend the Pro Bowl.

• THE SPORTS HERNIA briefs us on Roger Clemens’ lawyer Rusty Hardin.

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LSU Tailgate Whores Perform For Tigers Huddled Masses

LSU COED SHAKES TAILGATE FOR TIGERS HUDDLED MASSES: Top-ranked LSU tees it up in Oxford Saturday against hapless Ole Miss.

Ole Miss Cheerleaders Bending Over

While Oxford is one of the best tailgate locales you will find (the women there are vastly underrated, shh, don’t tell anybody!), it can’t top LSU tailgating, where the Saban-haters scare up local bachelor party performers to *entertain* the armadillo-eating masses:

LSU Tailgate Whore

Louisiana native Britney Spears would be proud of her peroxide-based, emaciated brethren, as they shake their tailgates before games for fun (and profit!):

LSA Tailgate Whore

Meanwhile, we plan to stay home on Saturday to watch Kansas attempt to throw its season away against upstart Iowa State. And watch porn star-breasted Ashley “Wonky Eyes” Russell as she slowly morphs into Burt Reynolds (her face is now tighter than a snare drum, with a lovely waxy sheen):

Ashley Russell Fake Boobs With Pulled Back Face

Robin Leach Shows Up At Vegas Housewarming Party For Sacramento Kings Owner Gavin Maloof

ROBIN LEACHES ON TO SAC KINGS OWNER’S HOUSE PARTY: Just when you thought you were safe from champagne wishes and caviar dreams, Robin Leach is back with a vengance. And he’s schmoozing aloofly with the Maloofs:

Gavin Maloof Robin Leach

Robin recently landed at the housewarming party of Gavin Maloof, co-owner of the Sacramento Kings and the Palms Casino. The celebration of Gavin’s new Vegas digs had everything - Playboy bunnies, rap stars, and an A-list of celebrity athletes, all with photos to prove it!There was Barry Bonds looking for the juice bar, and Floyd Mayweather Jr. hiding out from Barack Obama. Cowboy buds Terrell Owens and Tony Romo were trying to hook up on passes, and Ron Artest was being his usual polite self.

Jeff Reed ex-Britney manager Larry Rudolph

We also thought Steelers kicker Jeff Reed had made an appearance, but turns out it was only Larry Rudolph, the ex-manager of Britney Spears.And even the Kings Dance Team was there, shaking and shimmying their money makers while in splendid silver.

Kings Dance Team Maloof party

If you were there, feel free to drop a congratulatory note on their MySpace page.And what of the actual house? Let Mr. Leach tell us in his own personable way (just picture the nasally accent):

It’s a mind-blowing, multi-million dollar palace perfect for a platinum playboy, and so luxurious and lavishly large you need a chauffeur-driven Segway scooter to go three floors from the upstairs bedroom’s balconies to the sub-level private movie-theater!

Segways

It comes complete with a swimming pool so long you could light a runway catwalk down it and still have room to stage a rock band at the other end!

There, wasn’t that nice? Need some aspirin? Or a handgun to blow your brains out? Both are in the cabinet.

Blogs: O.J. Earned $1.2 Million From 2003 to 2005

• TMZ wonders why O.J. robbed a casino in the first place, since the Juice was able to squeeze out $1.2 million in income from 2003 to 2005:

OJ Simpson

• Must be a QB thing: THE BIG LEAD passes along word that, just like Joe Theismann, Peyton Manning is no fan of Tony Kornheiser.• MAC G’S WORLD knows things are bad in Nebraska when the football coach is worried about an opposing player who’s already out for the season.

• The DAILY MAIL learns from England’s educators that WAGs like Victoria Beckham are good role models for young women:

Victoria Beckham

• FLOTSAM MEDIA isn’t too happy with the shortened hours of the NFL Draft.• If you even wanted to get friendly with the Sacramento Kings dance team, now’s your chance.