(Do you remember back in the day when you would hold your arms out and spin around and yell out “Tornado!” like you were a tornado? I’m not saying that’s what Harrison’s doing here, because he’s not a 5-year-old, but it might be a good tactic in run support. I guess you don’t need to yell out “Tornado” if you’re going to do it in the game, though, because that ruins the surprise and the offense can adjust. Anyway.*)
Oh, but do what ESPN won’t do and launch a fusillade of disgust at The Brett Favre Experience? You, sir, have our attention. What’s that, Mr. Harrison? The players think he’s selfish too? So, in a way, I’m more like Chris Samuels than Chris Berman? I… I don’t know what to say. I think I love you.
Woe upon anybody who turned on “NFL Live” on ESPN yesterday, as the Worldwide Leader had fantastic news for everybody: Tom Brady’s knee is doing great!
(Wheeeee yayyyy Tom Brady!)
This wasn’t particularly newsworthy, mind you; everyone knew Brady would be back for the start of the 2009 season. Then his surgeon and golf partner, Neal ElAttrache (that’s a fake name if I ever heard one; what’s Brady hiding???), gave his first post-surgery interview to the LOS ANGELES TIMES, and with quotes like these:
“With regard to his recovery of strength, I’ve never seen anything quite like it,” said ElAttrache, an orthopedic surgeon specializing in sports medicine at the Kerlan-Jobe Clinic in Los Angeles. “With an average person, it would have taken probably twice as long to get range of motion and strength back.”
Said ElAttrache: “Let’s face it, guys that are athletes like him, they’re strung together different. By and large, they follow the same biologic rules as the rest of us. However, they’re able to do things with their neuromuscular control and their strength gains and how they respond to exercise a little bit differently.
…it was only a matter of time before ESPN pounced and showed that amateur Peter King what a real ball-washing looks like.
Speaking of comebacks, it’s time to welcome back another target of unbridled man-crushery: Mirko “Cro Cop” Filipović, the fearsome MMA fighter. He set the world on fire a few years ago, mainly via YouTube videos of him kicking people in the head, before an uninspiring 1-2 stint in UFC sent him back to fighting in Japan. But rest assured, I didn’t forget the kicking in the head:
And yes, $50 is awfully steep for one person to watch an event, but if you’re watching a pay-per-view by yourself, there’s something very wrong with you. Pay-per-views are the flimsy excuse you need to have a social event, one that often involves healthy amounts of imbibition. It’s probably not very hard to find a sports bar showing the event, after all. But if “drunk guys in Affliction shirts” isn’t your thing, no worries; 1) Giants pitcher Brian Wilsondoesn’t care for it either, and 2) just invite a half-dozen friends or so over and do it like that instead. But yes, six fights in one night is most certainly choice. Figure out a way to make it worth your while and make it happen.
And finally in more news of welcome returns, Phil Mickelson has apparently set a date for returning to the PGA Tour: June 11, for the St. Jude’s Classic in Memphis. Of course, the timing has everything to do with the U.S. Open the following week at Bethpage Black, right in Phil the Thrill’s haunt in New York.
Mickelson first thought surgery for his 37-year-old wife could happen as early as a few weeks since the announcement, but that has been pushed back for another month.
Her treatment and recovery will dictate whether he plays in the British Open, or how much he plays at all the rest of the summer. Mickelson already has won twice this year and is No. 5 in the FedEx Cup standings.
It’s both easy and tempting to say things like “Amy Mickelson is good reminder that life is more important than sports,” but that’s like saying “an apple is tastier than an aircraft carrier.” Well, yeah, but the two things don’t share the same useful metric. Of course life is important; nobody ever disputed that. But we’d be stunned if Phil’s return was spurred by anything but Amy telling him to get back on the course.
Proving she’s not a three-program robot (1: drive car fast, 2: make non-threatening remarks, 3: wear bikini), Danica Patrick ruffled some feathers recently by telling Dan Patrick (not the same person; not even related, as a matter of fact) that taking PEDs isn’t cheating if you’re not caught. Was that wrong? Should she not have done that?
Cheer up, Nike: there’s still a way to salvage your precious Lebron/Kobe puppet campaign!
Would you like to read about a blog duping a plainly moronic radio host into thinking they were going to interview John Daly? You would? Would you like to hear said interview too? You would?? Then you, my friend, are in quite a bit of luck:
Why was Sidney Crosby hiding from the media before Game 3 of the Stanley Cup playoffs? Because there’s more than one player on the Pens you MSM idiots ‘Cause he’s yella, that’s why!
During his chat, the ex-Knicks coach & prez wanted fans in New York to know that he did everything he could to try and succeed in Madison Square Garden. And before you gothrowing more stones in his direction, Isiah would like to point out that he’s not the only one who couldn’t make it at MSG:
He’s failed with two different restaurant ventures, so I suppose it’s good that Jim McMahon’s newest foray into the business world has nothing to do with food. No, this time around, McMahon’s focus is on something much different: your wang.
McMahon, who hasn’t really been the MVP of anything since he was at BYU almost 30 years ago, is marketing a new “male enhancement” product called MVP. He’s on the sports talk circuit, and he spent some time on Dan Patrick’s radio show today talking about the revolutionary new scam product. I don’t know if this is what I envisioned his life would become when I dressed up as him for Halloween when I was 9.
David Stern appeared on Dan Patrick’s radio show this morning, and shared his thoughts on a wide range of crises and challenges the National Basketball Association faces for the future.
Whilst perusing Dan Patrick’s SPORTS ILLUSTRATED blog, I came across this: “Dan watched the BCS title game with Erin Andrews and her sister in a private suite last night. Not bad.” Whoawhoawhoawhoa … Back. The. F. Up. Erin Andrews has a sister? This obviously begs the question, is she hot?
Thanks to BUSTED COVERAGE for the scoop of the century. This could be the Pentagon Papers of the sports blogosphere. Now when someone says Andrews Sisters, I won’t be picturing this anymore.
I’ve actually personally sworn off posting about Barkley and/or LeBron James in the remaining millenia, but I was so bemused by media reporting of Barkley’s recent comments on Dan Patrick’s radio show that I had to chime in.
Barkley last Wednesday said that James needed to “shut the hell up” when it came to his future NBA team destination in 2010. Of, course, I couldn’t care less about that. The fun part is what Barkley said about Stephen A. Smith right in the middle of his comment about James - and I suppose it illustrates just how far S.A.S. has fallen off the sports media map. Read more…
What do Dan Patrick, Chris Myers, and Craig Kilborn all have in common? They were all once leading lights at ESPN, and now are nowhere to be seen in the national media, save the odd playoff game or overcrowded NBC set (as for Kilborn, check Bob Evans’ corner booth at Trader Vic’s.)
Dan Patrick’s radio show continues to be a compelling listen these days. Tuesday, he landed a visit with Erin Andrews, but apparently it wasn’t easy.
(Fish story or UF postgame locker room scene setter?)
During the conversation, Patrick asked Andrews when the last time was that she got yelled at (during a game). Her response gave us a glimpse into the WWL’s alumni policy. Read more…
