• SONS OF STEVE GARVEY tosses out some fun photos of Jackie Chan kickin’ it with the Dodgers.

• STEROID NATION comes across strange news of Chinese authorities reportedly testing performance-enhancing drugs on prisoners, and somehow hoping the results can help disqualify Western athletes & give more medals to China.

• DEUCE OF DAVENPORT passes along news that Dan Marino will be giving this year’s commencement speech for the University of Pittsburgh.

• JOE SPORTS FAN can’t find any relief, as this Wrigley visitor decides to turn a urine trough into a Slip ‘n’ Slide.

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We offer evidence of another pumped-up day in the world of sports:

• Topps shows what a bunch of cards they are by inserting Rudy Guiliani into the Red Sox’s World Series celebration:

• HBO is cancelling “Inside The NFL”, denying us the chance to see more manic Marino tantrums.

• Jeremy Shockey has better things to do than attend some silly Super Bowl parade.

• Terrelle Pryor said he wouldn’t choose his school on Wednesday, but others are trying to make the choice for him.

• Pedro Martinez & Juan Marichal do enjoy themselves a good cockfight:

(Pedro handling his cock before the big fight)

• True to his word, Shaq doesn’t let Steve Nash down.

• Like the SEC gals and Big East boys, the Green Bay Packers experience their own teleconferencing fun.

• ESPN needs to hire a spellchecker for the “PTI” graphics guys.

HBO today announced that it cancelled our favorite show that people stopped watching back in the late ’80s, “Inside The NFL.” HBO Sports President Ross Greenburg: “Inside the NFL has been a hallmark program for three decades on HBO. It has been a terrific franchise. But the television landscape has changed quite a bit over the last 30 years.”

The show, which has aired for the past 31 years, had many great moments (at least that’s what Mr. Greenburg tells us). But this is our personal favorite, featuring a particularly perturbed Dan Marino.

Of course, the clip would not be of any use to us if it weren’t for the faux fear from Nick Buoniconti. Well played, Mr. Perfectville.

Even in a flag football game against a college team, the Miami Dolphins can’t win.

The MIAMI HERALD reports on the last football game held at the Orange Bowl - a 7-on-7 flag football contest on Saturday between former Dolphins and former Miami Hurricanes. The ex-Canes were able to run away from the ex-Fins in a 65-51 shootout. Too bad the current stock of UM players couldn’t have done the same thing in their own home finale.

Over 12,000 fans showed up for the final football farewell to the stadium - more than the Marlins can even hope to bring out to their games. But folks are invited to come back to the OB in two weeks and pick up a urinal or two.

No word if Dan Marino was selling his new vodka at concession stands - or if Dana Jacobson was spotted in line.

#13 MIGHT STICK TO WHAT HE DOES BEST - HOT DOG EATING: The NEW YORK POST notes today that Dan Marino was in New York last night “celebrating the launch of his new vodka, Americana, at Maria Pia on West 51st.”

It’s an ill-fated move by #13, as he’s apparently unaware that Dolphins fans have been elbow-deep in Smirnoff for some time now.

MARTINI GROOVE is high (kinda) on Marino’s vodka: “It’s produced and bottled at the nation’s oldest family distiller (doesn’t say who), has a slow charcoal filter for carbon filtration (doesn’t say how many times), and uses grains harvested from America, The Beautiful (doesn’t say what type of grains). It also doesn’t say where it’s going to launch, when it will launch, or how much it will cost.“We think Marino should go back to doing what he does best: Running restaurants in Hooters casinos …

… and eating hot dogs:

• MR. SUNSHINE saves it for later, as Dan Patrick’s radio show will be broadcast in many markets on tape-delay:

• ALLBALLS takes a break, as they enjoy these amusing halftime spectacles.• WIZZNUTZZ via DEADSPIN knows a chicken box signed by Manute Bol & Spud Webb has to be finger lickin’ good.

• JEN’S FREE THROWS teases us with a first look at Venus Williams’ new ‘do:

• WAGGLE ROOM checks their report card, as teen golf sensation Tadd Fujikawa is letting his grades slip a bit.• PART MULE knows the Celtics are so good, Doc Rivers doesn’t even need to coach them.

• MONDESI’S HOUSE digs up a classic photo of a collegiate Dan Marino and his Pitt hitmen:

• LARRY BROWN SPORTS checks their wallet, as it now costs a family of four nearly $500 to attend one Lakers game.• And if you decide not to head to Staples Center, you can always use that cash to buy the most expensive video games made.

• He can bring his own makeup: RIVALFISH scores news that Dennis Rodman wants to be a WNBA coach:

The Worm should be able to provide proper motivation to his players.• CONSTRUDA discovers Tim Hardaway trying to make amends for his earlier anti-gay remarks.

• THE BOTTOM LINE hates Notre Dame, but even they aren’t having fun anymore with the suck of the Irish.