Cops Give Chicago New Curse: Overconfidence

First and foremost, Chicago is a city of curses. The political scene is cursed with Daleys, the Blackhawks are cursed to have the biggest Scrooge of an owner in professional hockey, and, first and foremost, the Cubs are cursed by a billy goat who was denied entrance despite wielding his own ticket. Well, now the city’s police force has jumped on to the curse wagon, as it’s already begging Chicago baseball fans to “celebrate responsibly” despite the fact that the season hasn’t even started yet.

billy goat

(This year, the goat might be off the hook.)

Yes, we get it: The cops are talking about celebrating regular season wins, not a championship. But no police force ever addresses regular season games. That’s what makes Saturday’s proclamation, as covered here in the CHICAGO TRIBUNE, such a shock: The department had the balls to go out and deliver it in the preseason. If they’re already laying the groundwork for “please don’t burn cars and couches!” speeches, Chicago officials clearly must feel that the Cubs and White Sox are heading to the playoffs, potentially to a World Series.

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Alyssa Milano Dishes On Bad Sex With Pitchers

Well, now Giants fans know who to blame for Barry Zito’s career implosion. According to THE NATIONAL ENQUIRER, Alyssa Milano’s new tell all, “Safe-at-Home”, drops all the details from her past flings with star pitchers Carl Pavano, Zito and Brad Penny, even dropping the fact that Penny made her wear his jersey to bed.

alyssa milano

(Two thirds of the Milano bad luck club, as compiled by SI.com)

It’s the latest step in a trave-sham-ockery of a career for Milano, who’s gone from classic crap TV (Who’s the Boss?) to modern crap TV (Charmed) to baseball clothing. It’s only too appropriate that the outlet to break the story has such high standards of integrity that it thinks Barry Zito’s first name is Brad. At each step of the way, she’s gone to lengths to have very public relationships with high profile pitchers, each of which has immediately gone into the tank after they broke up with Milano.

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The Sex Cannon Has Come Back To Kill Chicago

You know, as a Chicagoan and a White Sox fan, I’ve always found it rather funny that some Cubs fans think their team is cursed instead of admitting they just haven’t been that good for 100 years.  This morning I’m wondering if those Cubs fans may be on to something.   It would seem that the Chicago Bears are cursed when it comes to their quarterbacks.   Just when the team and the city thought they’d found their man — he came from the cornfields of Iowa, with a bottle of Jack Daniels in one hand, a football in the other, and a fondness for neckbeards — it was all taken away on a Sunday afternoon.

Kyle Orton suffered a high ankle sprain during the first half of the Bears eventual victory over the Detroit Lions, and that can only mean one thing.   He’s back.   Yes, the Sex Cannon himself, Rex Grossman, will once again be lining up under center to throw back-breaking interceptions and fumble a snap near you.

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Workers Find Red Sox Jersey At Yankee Stadium

The curse is over! Workers spent five hours jackhammering concrete at the new Yankee Stadium to remove the David Ortiz jersey buried there last week by Gino Castignoli (dramatic re-enactment starring Pedro Martinez and Don Zimmer below).

Red Sox Yankees Pedro Don Zimmer

As one might expect, the NY POST was all over it, breaking the news of the recovery earlier today: Read more…