Hero Janitor Thwarts Girls X-Country Masturbater

While this isn’t quite on the level of earlier stories about the marathon runner who ran down her assailant or the elderly ex-boxer who beat up a burglar, let it be known that high school custodians can be heroes, too. A 39-year-old Fountain Valley (Calif.) man was arrested Tuesday after the janitor at Fountain Valley High School spotted him masturbating while watching girls on the cross country team doing warmup exercises. Remember, without eternal janitor vigilance, it can happen at your school.

(”Do ya feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?”)

Just how did the janitor — who is not being named — stop the perverted miscreant? By tackling him and sitting on him until police arrived. That act in itself conjures all sorts of disturbing possibilities, so let’s just let it go. Hilarious masturbater quote included after the jump. Read more…