• THE WORLD OF ISAAC uncovers US soccer player Natasha Kai pulling a Brandi Chastain after the Americans beat Brazil for the women’s gold:
Frankly, we prefer to ogle Brandi’s original shirt-shedding.
• UNPROFESSIONAL FOUL can’t believe what they’re seeing, as a British couple thinks they’ve found a missing girl, but the child turns out to be the non-missing son of a Croatian soccer player.
• YOU BEEN BLINDED pulls no punches, as Mike Tyson says he’s done with boxing. (At least until his next appearance fee check clears.)
• WITH LEATHER finds A-Rod hanging with the new Menudo. Ay caramba!