Cris Carter recently appeared on the NFL Network giving life advice to first-year players at the NFL rookie symposium in Carlsbad, California.

Highlights:

“Your friends start saying, ‘Oh, man, I knew you were gonna change as soon as you got into the league. Yeah, you better change.”

“You’re talking about people who can drag you down quick. Make sure you keep them in check.”

“Have all your affairs in order before you get on that field, man.”

“This league is better because of what me and my comrades did while we played … that’s why we get upset when you get in the predicaments you get in.”

Too bad Carter’s son Duron wasn’t in the room.

I don’t think it’s unreasonable to observe that Duron Carter’s first year at Ohio State has been nothing short of a disaster.

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If I came into my office every morning and slept underneath my desk, or just spent the entire time I was there openly blogging on various internet sites, I would expect to be fired. Actually, scratch that last one.

Point being, if you stink at your job, you should get fired. ESPN finally woke up and smelled the roses, deciding not to bring Emmitt Smith back to NFL Countdown. PRO FOOTBALL TALK reports that Cris Carter will be brought in instead to torture give us the news on Sundays with Chris Berman & crew.

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We hope to someday see suburban banners showing SbB some love, too.

• Jason Taylor: Finished “Dancing”, now also finished with the Dolphins?

• We’d smash through glass to check out Hunter Pence’s nudie girlfriend.

• A toast to ESPN analyst Rick Sutcliffe for kicking cancer’s ass!

• Cris Carter wanted to take Will Leitch out. But isn’t he married?

• Mindy McCready movie moves to clear up cuddling with Clemens.

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Good: Being the internet’s most-read sports blogger:

Bad: Being cursed by Buzz Bissinger on national TV.

Worse: Being maimed by Cris Carter.

Will Leitch, in THE SPORTING NEWS, takes us backstage at the HBO-sponsored Bissinger debacle with a lovely pre-show exchange he had with Cris Carter - which makes his confrontation with Bissinger seem like a visit to the left side of Dairy Queen’s menu.

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• Bethlehem Shoals of THE SPORTING BLOG wonders if Yao Ming’s early exit actually means he doesn’t want to play in the Olympics.

• Victory is mine! BALL DON’T LIKE learns the Kevin Garnett & crew got a special locker room visit from the man behind “Family Guy“.

• Speaking of the guys in green, The NEW YORK DAILY NEWS hears that Charles Dolan really believes his Knicks will be the next Celtics.

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