McNabb’s Ariz. Lawn Burners Brought To Justice

Donovan McNabb may not be getting any luckier in NFC Championship Games, but at least he’s getting luckier with the law. After his Arizona house was vandalized by lawn-burners just before the NFC title tilt, there was every indication that it would take forever for the perpetrators to be brought to justice. Evidently that hard-style, desert justice kicked in, though, because police already have arrested two men who they claim were responsible for the vandalism. Here’s the surprise: They’re two 30-somethings.

Donovan McNabb

Yup, according to FANHOUSE, McNabb was the victim of two gentlemennot teens — who may or may not have been very liquored up. Thirty-seven-year-old Rex Perkins, a Chandler, Ariz., native, was the criminal dumb enough to leave some form of identification behind, and his co-worker, 28-year-old Ryan Hanlon, quickly caved, as well. The real kick in the teeth for McNabb? The dynamic duo is only getting charged with misdemeanors in the case. Misdemeanors. Strangely, the lax punishment seems to match the lax attitude of the criminals; Perkins’ identification left? A return addressed envelope with his name on it.

That the criminals weren’t teenagers is a shock, but there’s still a conspiracy theory surrounding the case: How did it go unreported for days before the game?

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Cubs Fined $500,000 For Cheating In MLB Draft

They say if you’re not cheating, you’re not trying. Just ask Bill Belichick. Or Peter Cook. Well, after 100 years of losing, it looks like the Cubs have decided to try really, really hard - and have been fined $500,000 for it.

Sammy Sosa getting hit in head

SPORTS ILLUSTRATED is reporting that the Cubs got the hefty fine after participating in a few underhanded dealings involving the draft, including failing to officially tell the MLB after a signing a player, and for putting players on the field without first obtaining MLB’s approval.

Master criminals, the Cubs are not. (If they were, they would have used bowler hats during their daring escape!) But they still have to pay up. Just think, that chunk of change could have gone into finally getting rid of the horrible urinal troughs at Wrigley!

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