Cream Cheese Causes Coach To Cancel Twittering

• Who would have though cream cheese on bagels would be the downfall of George Mason coach Jim Larranaga’s Twittering career?

Jim Larranaga George Mason cream cheese bagel

(”Go away! You’ve caused me enough trouble!”)

• Broncos fans boo Jay Culter on his return to Denver. And the way Kyle Orton has been playing, expect a lot more booing from Mile High this year.

• But there’s plenty of cheering at NBC, where Sunday’s Broncos-Bears matchup netted the highest ratings for a preseason game in five years.

• Holy subterranean living! Indiana Pacers forward Danny Granger is building himself a batcave down in New Mexico.

• A Louisville-area high school football coach is facing homicide charges after one of his players collapsed & died during practice.

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Larranaga Quits Twitter After Cream Cheese Flap

A couple weeks ago, we brought you the story of George Mason basketball coach Jim Larranaga tweeting a couple sarcastic remarks about the NCAA’s ridiculous - but true - restrictions on bagels given to players as snacks. Basically, the players may have bagels, but they can’t have cream cheese or butter on them. No, really.

Jim Larranaga
(Guys! Remember that the apple can’t be larger than your fist! Your eligibility’s at stake, you know!”)

We particularly enjoyed one of our commenters’ suggestions, which was to circumvent the rule by using soy- and nut-based products and spreads, since nuts also qualify as snacks under the NCAA’s arcane snack guidelines. But apparently Larranaga’s got a different idea, which is to abandon the fight altogether, which is one of the main reasons why he’s shuttering his Twitter account.

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So Now The NCAA Has A Cream Cheese Violation?

There are, at its latest count, 439 pages of NCAA Division I compliance regulations. And sure, with so many coaches looking to circumvent creatively comply with those rules, it makes sense that the expansion is inevitable; every time a coach gets an insane idea to entice a recruit to campus, a rule’s got to be put into place to shut that door. And those doors stretch as far as the imagination.

Everything bagel
(WARNING TO COLLEGE ATHLETES: Even looking at this picture will make you ineligible. Our sincerest apologies, especially for putting the warning after the picture. Whoops.)

At the same time, though, it’s awfully hard to make the case that every single one of those rules is necessary; after all, while nobody wants to see large sums of money funneled to players’ families or anything, there are some regulations that just boggle the imagination.

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