Wrestler Sues Everyone Over Cookie-Stealing Ban

A scandal I like to call Cookiegate is rocking an Ohio high school, pitting student against teacher, wrestler against coach, parent against administration and man against cookie.

Cookie Monster

Dillon Kelley (pictured), a wrestler at Centerville High School, is suing the school, the board of ed, and the city after he was kept out of a regional tournament because he was being punished for stealing cookies from the cafeteria. Let’s explore what’s obviously the most heinous sports-related crime since Ray Lewis killed a guy, after the jump.

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Dwyane Wade, NBA On Healthy Eating: Cookies?

According to a study done back in 2007, the United States is the 9th fattest country in the world. Some country called Nauru came in as the fattest, having 94.7% of it’s citizens over the age of 15 considered overweight. Of course, we here in America can’t stand finishing in second place at anything, let alone ninth, so somebody has to do something.

That person is Miami Heat guard Dwyane Wade. Not content with only helping restore order in the global landscape of basketball by winning a gold medal with the United States basketball team in Beijing last month, D-Wade has now set his sights on making the U.S. the fattest country in the world.

Dwyane Wade Cake

As Henry Abbott pointed out at TRUEHOOP yesterday morning, Wade is taking part in a campaign between the NBA and Pepperidge Farm for the NBA FIT program that hopes to teach kids the importance of a balanced diet and exercise.

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